Magic Mike XXL

MR_Haskell_Gilbert

OK sooooo it’s official. I’ve seen both Magic Mike movies. Not sure if this requires a mandatory therapy session or some sort of community service probation or what. Over the weekend, on Saturday to be more precise, is when the sequel was encountered. In my defense, I did not intend to see the second movie in this ‘franchise’. I was being a dutiful boyfriend and designated driver for my girlfriend after she consumed some adult beverages during a get together at a friend’s home.
ufc193
In part I was being noble and doing a responsible thing in being her driver and also I was there to catch the fights of UFC 193. After the beat down of Ronda Rousey by Holly The Preacher’s Daughter Holm, the lady of the house queued up Magic Mike XXL.
Magic_Mike_XXL
Hmmm. My girlfriend had just opened a fresh beer signalling that she was going to stay at least for a bit. So on rolled the flick. Don’t get me wrong there was not a hint of a plausible plot or a shred Matthew McConaughey’s character from the first movie to be found. That isn’t to say there wasn’t some Oh hey moments. My first one was saying oh hey, isn’t that the guy (character: Tito) from CSI Miami? Yes Adam Rodriguez. Oh wow, isn’t that the guy (character: Ken) from White Collar? Matt Bomer, yes!  Isn’t that the comic dude (character: Tobias)? Yep – Gabriel Iglesias – Fluffy. And of course there is Jada Pinkett Smith – she played a character called Rome but I said she will forever be Fish Mooney to me now from the FOX show Gotham. There were some other moments including Michael Strahan’s appearance but the one that really grabbed me was seeing Stephen Boss. But people who watch the reality talent show So You Think You Can Dance probably know him better as hip hop dancer Twitch!
BonTemps
OK I know this is alot of shame for me to admit in that last paragraph but hold on we are not done. Sitting in a room of ladies and hearing them audibly drool over Joe Manganiello aka Big Dick Richie aka Alcide Herveaux from Bon Temp (True Blood) and Magic Mike aka Channing Tatum or Channum as my girlfriend kept calling him was a bit surreal and a little damaging to my male ego. The rest of the night I referred to myself as Magic Mike XS. I have almost everything that the mid-thirties Channing Tatum has minus the fame, money, body and dancing ability. From here I will relay one of the more humorous bits from the movie (not including Kevin Nash’s dancing scene – his character: Tarzan).

*** Spoiler Alert ***
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Anyway, Joe Manganiello’s character at the stripper convention peeks out from back stage to see another group of performers. The other group is doing a ‘vampire bit’ taken from the Twilight movie series. Joe’s character returns to the group and mutters “(bleeping) vampire bullsh!t” which is hilarious because I’m sure it is a blatant pilfering of a line he used playing the Alcide character as a werewolf on the HBO show True Blood. I found it amusing. There was one other guy in the movie that I quasi-recognized (he as a singer wearing a hat) and I asked is that Pharrell? Someone said no, that’s so-and-so from some show I didn’t watch. So perhaps I didn’t recognize him but his hat did make me Happy.

CARTMAN – BEEFCAKE

Overall I guess it wasn’t a horrible movie but it is what it was supposed to be: a beefcake movie (find a YouTube clip of Cartman from South Park screaming Beefcake) and you get the picture.
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So this movie and the 1997 film The Fully Monty featuring Robert Carlyle (some of you know him better as Rumplestiltskin from the TV series Once Upon a Time) have taught me that although the ladies would prefer you to resemble Channum they will settle for what you currently are packaged as – just so long as you can sexy dance. So dudes, get to the choreography and good luck!

YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HAT ON

Laughs and peace my friends.

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