My Superbowl Commercial

So the BIG GAME was yesterday…and mercifully football is done for about six months. Don’t get me wrong I like football and I partake in fantasy football every year (I won my one and only league this year! yep that’s me bragging a little) but for everything there is a season. Now the season changes…to baseball (and softball). Pitchers and catchers report soon and the meaningless games of spring training will commence shortly thereafter. I always enjoy this time of year, trying to break free from the grasp of Old Man Winter and embrace the bi-polarness of Mother Nature in Missouri. Two days ago I playing a softball tourney in short sleeves and shorts in mild, pleasant temps…today I am wearing long pants, a long sleeve shirt covered with a zip up sweat shirt and a coat with a scarf to go outside and scrape the frozen rain off of my car. Mother Nature sometimes just needs a hug and some chocolate.

Anyway, since my bank account was a little light this year, I was once again unable to submit a commercial to run during the uber-premium viewing time of the Super Bowl game. But if I had the funds and a concept, could it really be any worse than the Baby-Monkey-Pug commercial thing? Seriously I have no clue what company that was promoting because I was creepily repulsed and yet trying to understand why the baby legs did not topple the other segments over into a face-plant. So if I had to compose my own spot for 30 seconds I think I would boil it down into something like this:
A still photo of Christina Aguilera in a black top opposite a still photo of Britney Spears in a very unflattering black dress. Christina’s mouth opens (in the South Park style of speaking) and Terrance’s voice, of Terrance and Phillip fame, speaks: “Britney pull my finger!” Then Britney’s mouth opens (again in the South Park style of speaking) and in Phillip’s voice, speaks: “No way Christina! Last time I pulled your finger, you farted in my mouth! Ha Ha!” But all of a sudden the screen freezes and swirls like a Dairy Queen employee making a Strawberry Cheese-quake Blizzard. While the screen churns, an unseen omnipotent voice sounding a lot like James Earl Jones after he has taken a hit off of a helium balloon says (as the words appear to be typed in a block font on-screen):
Go To
Search for: Scott Latta Blog
You. Are. Welcome.
Five seconds later the screen returns to normal showing Britney being farted on by Christina who is bent to resemble the capital letter L. <<<THE END>>>
That would have cost $5,000,000.00. Sure. Do they take a check?
Now you say, c’mon you can do better than that! And yes I could draw up a concept where Megamind cackles as Harry Potter is strapped to a table and a high powered laser is steadily making it’s way to intersecting with Harry’s right eye under his Lightning scar. The laser dot is centered on Harry’s closed eyelid so when he finally opens his eye, the laser activates something in his pupil…and the viewer is pulled into the pool of his inner eye. Something starts to take form out of the inky blackness but before you can decipher that shifting shape…my picture appears…and I say: Google Me. I dare you! (Scott Latta Blog)
cuteness kittty
Advertising is expensive business especially for that one night. Oh well, I will start saving up for next year. And who knows, if I should win the Powerball lotto (like a really, really big one) I fully intend to make this a reality. But the concept by then may just be me and my metamorphosis into being a full time softball playing cat lady. Stay tuned.
Peace and fully belly to everyone.

3 thoughts on “My Superbowl Commercial

  1. Becca

    So, I agree that baby monkey dog thing was just odd and creepy…but I have to say it served its purpose well. . EVERYONE is talking about it! LOL My favorite commercial was the Doritos dogs in the grocery store πŸ™‚ Made me smile. Happy Monday!

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