Drink, drank…drunk

Looking down a four day stretch that leads to the promised land (Friday), I have another topic to knock over like an excited child oblivious to their nearby cup of water. Drinking.

Whatever the drinking excuse: Happy Hour, playing softball, National Have A Beer Day (which apparently there are multiple?), it’s Thursday or the electric is going to be shut of because I didn’t pay the bill so all the chilled alcohol must be consumed – drinking happens. What happens from there on depends these components in the formula: volume of alcohol, the person’s tolerance and time duration.

The drinking scenario often unfolds like a horror film. Start by building the scene and introducing the characters but not much happens for awhile. Then there’s a strange sound. What was that? A ghost? A demon? Nope…just someone doing liquor shots. Now the movie turns. Things start to happen and the plot unfolds.

Whether a person chooses to get inebriated at home, a party, the ballgame, the bar, an outing – say, maybe mouse races or whatever – the essence of that person’s inner drunk is about to hit the stage.

Will they turn out to be the happy drunk, the crying drunk, the loud drunk, the angry drunk, the vulgar drunk, the puking drunk, the no-personal-space drunk or the passed out drunk? So many options and variations to choose from…don’t be hasty, take your time and figure out who you are. Me I tend to be very lovey-dovey and mobile in the early stages. I hit my buzz and I need to see what every single person in a thousand foot radius is up to. I tend to get drunk quickly (light-weight) but I also tend to rebound quickly and lose my buzz. As someone who is late to the party when it comes to the ways of drinking, I will try different drinks (thanks Kelsey for the tequila experience!) and see how I like it or don’t (i.e. Jägermeister – aka Jager aka The Pukemaker).

The people watching experience around drunks is very fine entertainment. Some ‘nice’ guys tend to devolve into drooling, pawing, base brain urge dudes searching for boobs and arse or a test of manhood. Some ‘nice’ ladies can go from being prim and proper into swearing like sailors and suggesting things that would make Charlie Sheen’s eyes bug out.

Another facet that generally comes to the surface besides the sex talking is honesty. Want an honest answer, ask a child or an elderly person or a drunk. Drunks will set you straight on any topic whether they know anything about it or not.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I’ve learned about people from when they were drunk. Inhibitions be damned, when the drunk tells you what they like, hold on because it’s going to come out whether you are ready or not. Besides the dark fantasies (fetishes?), you also learn about their dark secrets and the collateral secrets of their friends. Some of the revelations can be juicy but some are sad to learn. To the drunk you become their therapist or the sympathetic bartender. Be ready to learn the truth about past relationships or traumatic events in their lives. Maybe the experience is different for other people but many people, whom I have been in their presence when they have been throwing back drinks, feel the need to unburden their souls to me. I’ve learned about affairs, dangerous activities hidden from parents, unfortunate college events, abusive relationships, secret crushes, the honest sex (partner) number, threesomes, public urination, streaking, vandalism, thefts, moments of utter hopelessness and many other less saucy happenings that add to that person’s personal puzzle.

If you walk up to any random person, I guarantee that person has personal baggage. Whether it’s a deep-seated insecurity, a traumatic childhood, a secret illness, an incurable depression, a compulsive disorder or any of the zillion other things that can negatively impact a person’s psyche – something is eating that person on some level. So when alcohol is added, that deep-seated seed starts to grow a bean stalk that they sometimes use to climb out of that private inner pit.

Now I know getting drunk is only one way of achieving an altered mental state (see drugs, sleep deprivation, heightened stress, etc) but its the one I’m most familiar with so that’s the one I am commenting on presently. Luckily or not, I usually do not purge my soul too much when I am under the influence. I tend to have a super stupid grin on my face and hug every one who makes eye contact…or I retreat to be by myself and lament my entire life’s mistakes. There really is no middle ground. So if you see me drinking quite a bit and then you don’t see me you can do the math.

With today being Monday the chance of encountering drunks is minimal in my circles but there’s always a chance. Life goes on every single day and sometimes the need for escape is too great to ignore or deny. For those who have opened up to me (whether you remember it or not) I appreciate your stories and experiences and I will hold onto them for you. With the upcoming weekend, I am set to go floating (float trip) with some of my softball friends but by myself within the group for the first time in my life. I know there will be drinking and swimming aplenty. Chances of myself ending up somewhere alone in the dark with a bottle and my thoughts are above 90% according to the forecast but who knows?

Have a great week. Peace.

Footnote: I did look up the correct usage of deep-seated. I initially thought the phrase was deep-seeded but according to the on-line dictionary reference it is deep-seated. So grammar Nazis can chill out.  🙂

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