The Dark Tower Movie

Good day and happy weekend!

Well I just wasted $1.50 and an hour and a half of my life to confirm what I suspected would occur. As a HUUUUUGE fan of the Stephen King book series, The Dark Tower, I rented the DVD form of the movie to see what tomfoolery the producers could whip up. And I was not disappointed in my disappointedness.

In most literary circle, regardless of the genre, people know who Stephen King is. He may not be their bag of Halloween candy but they still acknowledge his presence as a long-established author. Most people think he is far too wordy for his stories but his stories themselves are well-crafted and diverse. The best way to describe King’s writing style is by giving the following analogy: Ask Stephen King what time it is…and he will give you an unabridged, richly detailed history of timepieces.

So back on topic. I just watched The Dark Tower on DVD, rented from the local Walgreen’s Redbox kiosk. From the get-go, the story was not even close to what King had written thirty-five plus years ago. OK I get that maybe the powers that be wanted to set the story more into present times; I will acknowledge that concept and dismiss it as not a good idea considering the relative time periods covered in the series. The Dark Tower series is the holiest of Holy Grails, in my opinion, for the span of genres it covers. And for the author to let the liberties that were taken to be taken, is highly disappointing and perplexing. For such an opinionated guy on Twitter, yes Stephen King is on Twitter and is endlessly expressing his political opinions, you would think he would be able to have a little spine and show his work the dignity it deserves. Mixing the elements and characters from different books in such a sloppy fashion is unforgivable. Jake’s back-story is completely different. The Man in Black’s persona is completely off. The casting of the Gunslinger and his father are wrong. The inclusion of elements from the last three books in this introduction story is absurd.

I could go on and on. For instance, in the books Roland is mostly ignorant of the items and how things are in ‘our’ New York but at one point he picks up a canister of gas or some contained fuel and tosses it with the intention of detonation it with his bullet. The gun store encounter is bizarre. The trip under the mountains where Roland makes his ‘deal’ is omitted. And I can go on and on.

At the very least, Stephen King owes his true fans a huge apology. Except for a few characters with similar names…this is no where close to a Dark Tower story. Maybe it would have been appropriate for a Saturday Night Live skit, but as a major motion picture it is vile and repulsive. As I noted on my Twitter account, I hope the payday was worth it because this effort was stupendously terrible and sadistically half-hearted.

If you, my reader, are upset about any possible spoilers unleashed above, please take it as a blessing. This is not worth your (or anyone else’s) time or money.

If the real Roland Deschain saw this depiction of himself, he would probably not bother going through his cosmic never-ending loop to protect the Dark Tower or the author of it’s story. If this is what sai King had in mind, then just let the tower fall…



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