Spiral me this

Good morning patrons of Friday! Good day!

I am sure that most of you are like me today and stumped by the lack of Wiki pages or enshrinement websites to the late Mahlon W Kenney.

What’s that? You do not know who he is? Patent holder #US3441174A doesn’t ring any bells either? So I guess next you are going to tell me you have never used one of those vending machines with the food trapped in ‘spiral’ cells? You input your currency, punch in your Battleship selection (A8!) and the oversized corkscrew (coil) mechanism turns and in theory your food item plummets to the ‘grab’ area which is a long rectangular holding tank at the bottom. Is this sounding more familiar now? OK thought so.

Well Mr. Kenney is the guy who should be held responsible for all those ‘stuck’ transactions that have happened. Corkscrew (coil) turn, turn, turn…but those over-priced Cheez-Its just won’t fall! Somehow the bag became pinched in just such a way that no matter how much you bang on the machine or try to shake or rock it, they just won’t fall. Then the next person who comes along tries to beat the system and get an extra ‘free’ bag of goodies. But after the corkscrew (coil) rotation of turns occurs again still no product! Now that front bag, who must be afraid of heights, has successfully blocked another bag! Oh the madness! The hangry chaos is about to ensue, trust me on this!

So the next time you wander into the break room at work or are waiting at the hospital for some reason and you see this bulky holder of convenience foods loaded with preservatives, you just might think of Mahlon W Kenney! Or not. We’ll see.





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