Writing Fragments (Cutting Room Floor)

Happy Hump Day e-travelers! Hope your surfing experience is hitch and glitch free. Sometimes when I have ideas in my head that knock on the inner door asking for entry, there is a bit of a tangent that occurs. I can usually see a bit of a silly path or a serious path to write about in flushing out the idea. Today in a random moment while washing my hands (yes people, you can do that after going #1 or #2 in a public restroom! Ugh!), I spied the restroom attendant’s cart of cleaning supplies. One such item was a sheathed toilet brush. From there the tangent process just flowed (sorry for the pun).

Bathroom Attendant Dory (BAD): Hi there. Are you having a great day?

ME: (Washing hands) Yeah it’s OK.

BAD: Mind if I ask you a question?

ME: (Hesitantly) Sure.

BAD: (Reaches into her cart and pulls out a toilet brush) Does this smell like fresh apple blossoms?

ME: (Visibly grimacing) I’d rather not.

BAD: (Pulls the toilet brush close, closes her eyes and smells it like a flower) I smell a meadow and a summer breeze.

ME: (Finishes washing hands and activates auto-paper towel dispenser) OK, well I have to get back to work now.

BAD: (Unceremoniously whips brush to within inches of my nose) Can’t you just smell the grass and breeze?

ME: In all honesty, it smells like mildew, boiled eggs and purification.

BAD: (Looking more than slightly offended and facially saddened) That’s not very nice. Wandy has been with me six years as of today. She has helped me clean up some pretty nasty messes. (She starts waving the toilet brush around like a child with a 4th of July sparkler.)

ME: Alright, sorry to offend Wandy but I have to go now.

BAD: It’s OK. Maybe I will take her bowl-ling later to celebrate our six years together! Get it, bowl-ling?

ME: Alrightey then, take care, bye bye now.

This took about a minute to play out in my head between washing my hands and waiting for the elevator. I forgot to mention BAD was wearing long, oven-cleaning-yellow, rubber gloves and a protective apron like Dexter used to wear on his show.

Hope your day before the day before Friday is going well.



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