Cabin in the Woods Challenge for $$$

For me this was a no-brainer. I chimed in and said yes. Many others also said no problemo! Now with the Covid-19 lockdown in full effect, people are over-flooding social media with memes and nonsense. One of the memes to crop up is a Maury Povich meme. The meme takes aim at the people who said they could live in a cabin cut off from society for 30 days as being liars or fakes.

The original meme depicting the serene isolated setting (there are multiple variations) also has different dollar amounts offered as reward. Who is fronting this reward money? That I’d really like to know. But in the vein of playing along, let’s start with the cabin. I’d like a cabin constructed of cedar. Cedar, especially freshly cut, has a nice smell to it in my opinion. If the location is remote then the chances of my T-Mobile cell service working are also remote. But to qualify, one must surrender their cell phone, TV privileges and computer access to step foot onto this virtual island as part of the contract.

I think the root of the exercise is to recapture a living time capsule. Take the person or persons back to a time before cell phone usage, internet consumption and a world run by apps. This Cabin in the Woods (not the 2011 film) scenario would return the contestant to a time where you were forced to be more independently creative: draw or paint a picture on paper or canvas, go for a hike and not in virtual reality world, carve something out of wood, gather unpurchased wood for a fire, read a physical book, etc. The other old-school examples are legion!

Speaking for myself, I know I spend/waste hours upon hours of my week doing mindless nothings. Three different variations of Candy Crush, scrolling social media, online browsing for Ebay/Amazon and other minimally useful activities. With that being said, how do I reconcile that I could flip the switch and complete the 30 day task? Easy…show me the money!

Would I be completely well-adjusted and sane at the end of the 30 days? That’s pretty iffy at best I’ll say. But that isn’t the question. Could I exist in this cabin for 30 days with no internet, cell phone, regular phone or TV? Knowing that when I complete that 30 days I’ll be compensated $50,000…$100,000 or $1,000,000…heck ya! Most of the trivial time wasters in my life are to distract me from knowing that I need to go back to work. Why go back to work? Because I want things and things cost money. Now on the lower spectrum, getting $50,000 or even $100,000 would be a great help. But I would know that my pending funds would not be a long term financial fix. In the short term it would allow me to ‘reboot’ my finances and maybe even re-evaluate my career path (i.e. go back to school). On the high end, I could completely reset my financial base and re-chart the future path for my family, home and career.

Let’s revisit this cabin shall we? The paying benefactor would provide a cabin with electricity (for cold storage of food, lights, etc.), food and drinking water. All three of those are critical to make this situation work. Drinking water to stave off dehydration is essential. Providing food likewise vital because if I have to hunt and kill my own food…I’m probably starving to death. Electricity is required to power lights, freezer/fridge and the running water.

Now let’s review some of the gray areas. It doesn’t say implicitly that there is a bathtub or shower in the cabin and one should never assume. Also with doors, there may be no locks. Let your mind run with that one for a minute. For those like myself who do not sleep well, how about waking up at 1am, 2am, 3am, etc. and the cabin is sighing in the wind or the roof is creaking? What if the cabin has many windows but no curtains? You would be able to see out into the wooded darkness and all the shifting shapes that your imagination or the moonbeans leave for you. Remember, that front door does not lock. Moving on, the food and water are provided but what about personal care supplies? No soap or deodorant for four plus weeks, especially in the summer, is going to make you not want to be too near yourself. Maybe there’s no shower or tub in the cabin…but what if there is no toilet either? Could make the 2am bladder necessity or worse the number two option outside in the darkness a heart freezing proposition. What was that? An owl? A bear? Jason Voorhees? What about your laundry service needs? Am I cleaning my clothes on a rock down by the lake in the shallows of fish poop? How did Gilligan and his mates do it without looking like wretches from a Shakespeare play?

There are tons more what-ifs to be fleshed out with this scenario but I’ll stop there so as not to over word you. Stepping back into the challenge mode and taking it back to the early 1980’s minus the TV availability. I could do this. Just like every problem and challenge, you just need a strategy. My strategy would be to sleep as late as possible each day (hoping I do not need to visit the chiropractor during the stay). Then gather wood and do the outside activities until dark. After dark, it would be inside time with sketching, painting, writing and reading. I would try to avoid intaking too much food and beverage after darkness falls because I guarantee I would be spooked about going outside to do my business. Just being honest.

Some of you will point out that in this dream payday scenario that all bases are covered: lavish indoor bathrooms, overflowing library of readables, CD player/stereo with thousands of desirable musical options and energy efficient washer/dryer combo to compliment that chef’s fantasy pantry. Either way, I make this work and all the doubting Thomases (no offense to those actually named Thomas who have thrown no doubt in my direction) can suck on a lemon that is in the advanced stages of decay.

For those of you wondering if this post is pretty typical for myself…yeah it really is. Enjoy your day, be safe out there and come back again soon.

Happy Birthday Mom! Peace.  <<04-16-2020>>

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