Tears for Fears

Coming this May to a venue near me…TEARS FOR FEARS and Hall and Oates.

Don’t get me wrong Darryl Hall and John Oates are OK, they haven’t aged well visually, but musically they are OK – even Darryl Hall’s solo stuff. John Oates may have some solo stuff, who knows and who cares?! Did I mention TEARS FOR FEARS will be in town a mere two months away? It’s like Christmas and Halloween had a love child! Maybe they did. It’s possible someone was cosmically sowing the seeds of love to make this happen? Some people may be head over heels at this news, so much so that maybe they will shout. But for me, getting to see a band that I first saw in concert in 1989 at the Fox Theater, it seems like a storybook tale and most everyone loves a happy ending so let’s party like it’s 1999. Whoops…cross-over Prince reference. May he rest in peace.

This PSA was brought to you by person who likes music from the 1980’s…also possible new studio album material! Oh yeah boooooy!

Peace.

On the brink of madness

Good day and welcome to a post from my WordPress blog. For my dedicated readers I apologize for the dip, as in reduction, of the quantity of posts that appear here. Over the last two and a half months I have posted twenty blog items. During that time I have recorded 9 podcast shows with my friend Jeremy as the duo known as Sports Stalkers. In addition to those 9 shows, I have recorded 9 solo podcasts just as myself sitting in the car recapping my week of activities and a few opinion pieces – both using the Podbean app. On top of those, I have been double posting on Twitter for the Sports Stalkers podcast promotion and also my own personal account. Of course there is my Facebook account (personal) and the Facebook account for the Sports Stalkers show that I post on hither and dither.

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With these forms of social media plus a full-time job and a personal life, my days and nights are quite full. Unfortunately, my blog I think has suffered. I did not mean to slight my readers who faithfully surfed in looking for new material and perspective but if I have slighted you, I apologize. Writing is my creative passion. Up through the end of November I was averaging 500 plus hits per month on ye ole blog of mine (sung to the tune of Sweet Child of Mine by of course, Guns ‘N’ Roses). The best case scenario would be for me to win the Powerball lottery and thus free up my time from ‘working’ to work on my passions that have bloomed in blogging and podcasting. But alas my cosmic gambling skills must not be too good because routinely I play but only match a stray number or two here and there. So until that avenue leads to fruition, I will continue to divert the flow of my thoughts into words – both verbal and virtual. Be patient and just like Shane Falco sitting on the turf after his teammate Danny crushes him in practice, we all need a minute to ‘work sh!t out’ (The Replacements).

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Have a great Valentine’s Day and try not to OD on chocolate. So far today I’ve consumed four Hersey’s Kisses, a square of Ghiradelli caramel center chocolate and two chocolate covered devil’s food cake donuts. It’s too late for me but save yourselves!

For those of you wondering what is going on in the background while I write this, I have The Crow streaming on my phone from Netflix. The hock shop store keeper just tried to end Eric Draven with a hand gun shot to the chest…that didn’t go over too well the the deceased but returned specter. If you have never seen the movie, I highly recommend it. Not the sequels mind you but just the original with Brandon Lee…may he rest in peace. “Is that gasoline I smell?” (((((BOOM)))))

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For Kristi – Happy Valentine’s Day my love. We’ll have a cheesy good time!

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Peace and love.

Love is…

Sounds like a good start to the chorus of a Tesla song, yes?

Good day wherever you are. Hopefully today finds you minus any physical or emotional pain. So let’s get to the heart of the matter shall we?

Love is pain. Love is hard. Love is grand. Love is exaltation. Love is that magical duct tape that fixes so many broken things in the world. Love fixed me…after love had broken me. I believe in love because I am a sap. A huge silly-stupid sap. I’ve been this way literally for decades and I do not see that changing any time soon.

Love is not embodied in a mass produced store-bought card but I understand the sentiment and those are nice but just nice. Love is not an equal division of the household bills. Love is not always doing the correct thing at the right time. As I have conveyed awhile ago, I tend to see things differently and in turn act differently based on how I was raised which consisted of much time by myself to figure things out.

A cool thing about love is unpredictability. When the person you love unexpectedly embraces you fiercely for no apparent reason or gives you that sassy little smile that they only save for you – those moments make my stomach drop and my heart feel like an over-inflated balloon. Thinking about the person you love and you can’t help but smile or drift into a bit of a daydream. Spending time with them, no matter the activity, is the goal and something you crave like an addict when you are unable to do so. Their imperfections become perfection and all social conventions fly out the window. You don’t care what they do for a living or what they drive or about that one shirt that really needs to be retired even though they wear it to death – none of that matters. You just see the person who ignites your passion and makes you feel incredibly weak and strong all at the same time.

I am not an expert on what makes other people tick, actually I think I can be pretty clueless in that aspect most of the time. Being just a simple boy from Dittmer, Missouri where I grew up tossing a baseball up to hit for hours upon hours by myself; but in those hours my mind was on other things besides trying to hit that ball (with a wooden hand me down bat). With the grass under foot and many trees all around in my solace, words crowded into my mind like metal fillings to a magnet. Those moments are forever locked into my mind as through the eyes of a 10-year old boy. Ten or twelve swings right handed followed by 10-12 swings left handed with very different results. In those swings I would work on pulling the ball, then hitting to centerfield and finally opposite field. I would do that from both sides of the ‘plate’. For the record I actually had a white and black home plate that my father had extricated from one of the khoury league fields in Cedar Hill. For anyone who has seen me play softball, my swing is something of an anomaly from the right side – probably from those countless hours of having to ‘pitch’ to myself. From the left side, my swing was a completely different animal. Long and looping with a severe upper-cut versus short and direct just like night and day and love and hate. But in those instances where I made the right contact…I could hit a ball higher and farther than most people would expect from a runt like me. Every once in awhile I will bust out that left handed swing in a very casual softball game where the competition is not very good or if the game is well decided one way or the other.

Some of you are making the timeout gesture with your hands. What does the above paragraph have to do with love Scott? Well softball is a love of my life…but not the same as being head over heels, sick to your stomach at the thought of losing it, end all-be all grandiose thing that is the real deal between two people who have pressed the edges of their souls together and just reveled in the soothing circle of getting everything you ever needed and wanted in that moment. This is not a metaphor for sex and has nothing to do with sex.

Do not get me wrong I am a lifetime member of the fan club for sex. But sex can be had between almost anyone. Sex can be a mistake or done so one of the people involved feels slighted or unsatisfied. Sex is more of a release and love is a deepening bonding thing. When you nurture the child of love in your belly and see it grow over the years, there is no feeling more powerful at least in my opinion.

Hopefully you have that special someone in your life who yings your yang. That one person who makes your heart skip a beat for a moment or makes you hold your breath when they walk into a room because you have to hold yourself back from running to them and mugging them with a hug and a thunderstorm of kisses.

To those who have been patiently waiting for me to blog again, thank you for rewarding me with your readership. Let’s get together again soon and see what words are fun for each of us.

Peace.

Taking a chance…

Hello and pleasant greetings. I have returned from my weekend excursion through the capital city of Arkansas. The softball was brief, the temps were elevated and the pool water was just fine. As a team we played Friday night and again Saturday morning…and that was it. Didn’t hit very much and didn’t score a lot. That is generally not a productive combo in slow pitch softball. But once softball ceased being the reason for all of us being there, we shifted our focus to having some adult beverages and splashing about in the pool. In conjunction with the trip, Theo’s girlfriend Kelsey was pre-celebrating her birthday for the weekend and I obliged the birthday girl by doing some tequila shots. Lick the top of the fist, salt the licked area, then lick the salt, down the shot and bite the lime. I gotta say without the lime part the shot was kind of yucky. But then again I am not widely schooled in the various types of alcohol and their optimal consumption. After a few of these types of shots and being the super lightweight drinker that I am, I was feeling a little hazy. So at this point it was imperative that I consume some food and that’s when we headed for a little Irish pub within walking distance of the team’s hotel. From there, what happened at the bar stays at the bar, unless you are friends with Kelsey on Facebook and see the photos she took. Otherwise my lips are sealed!
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Today’s piece is dedicated to optimism. Defined as a noun meaning: hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something. I guess this is why I have played the lotto since I was old enough to be able to legally buy a ticket. Obviously I have not ‘hit it big’ but I have won a few dollars over the years. So why keep playing when the odds are so outrageously bleak? Because somewhere in my childhood development, I learned to be optimistic. I have yet to hear of someone winning a jackpot who didn’t even play. They say nothing is impossible but that seems far-fetched. I’m not delusional and know my chances of getting all those numbers together on one of my tickets is tantamount to me getting a legit text from Mariah Carey asking for a date on the same day that Ed McMahon’s ghost shows up with a huge Publisher’s Clearing House check for $10,000,000 dollars. No matter. Believing in something that could happen no matter how unlikely, that is something I cling to in this life. So many negative certainties exist: The eventuality of death, encountering rude people in traffic, getting a paper cut, slow load times on your smart phone, that urgent run to the bathroom, another string of horrible Luke Bryan songs, plane crashes, train wrecks, ice cream headaches, late night insomnia and many other things that will certainly occur in your lifetime on the negative ledger side. So why not hold out hope or take a long shot chance? Begin a new friendship, reach out to an old school friend, wish for something positive for a complete stranger across the aisle at Target, laugh at yourself, talk to an animal like a baby, smile at the fact you are alive today and do something out of your comfort zone. In a tsunami of negativity and closed off self-serving people, there are still a few leading the resistance. This ragtag band tries to avoid the haters much like John Connor tries to lead his people against the futuristic nearly indestructible Terminators.
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In the movies, the underdog would-be-hero must overcome mutant cyborg zombies with never-ending ranks that never relent. But our hero, against unimaginable odds, somehow does not give up and overcomes all to get the girl and in turn the girl says, “Thanks but I have a boyfriend and we are very happy together.” Ummm. No that’s not how it goes down. He reaches the girl who is single and not otherwise emotionally attached. Everything else fades to the background. They embrace, the inspirational music swells and their lips touch in a tasteful but passionate kiss. He doesn’t give her any hickies or vulgarly grope her. Against all things impossible they are victorious and the happy ending stands tall. This is why I play the lottery and do not hide from life. Sure along the way you have your failures and heartbreaks but the only way to respond is to keep trying and keep believing. Like the compulsive gambler, just give it one more shot. The next one will be the big payoff. Even if you have to beg or borrow for that chance, it’s worth taking and you just never know.
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Note: On this PSA, please remember to gamble responsibly and no means no.
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Happy Hump Day to each and every one around the world who reads my blog or has it translated for their reading pleasure. I sincerely appreciate the feedback and proverbial feather in my cap from getting praise from continents I have yet to set foot on. As in life – much like the lottery – you cannot win if you do not play. Win or lose, be proud that you took a chance. You just never know.


Peace.

Pets

Good morning. I hope this day finds you of sound mind and body.

As I like to do from time to time, I wanted to push forward a hot button topic. Not religion, politics or the designated hitter in baseball – but pets. How is that controversial you ask? Animals that are cute, furry (except for hairless cats) and prone to destroying your home  – what’s not to love?

OK here’s the rub…typically people who have children get a little hypersensitive on this topic when I talk about the love shared between a companion animal and their owner. When a pet is introduced into a family and becomes a family member over the years, it can be just as gut-wrenching when that pet comes to the end of their natural life. There is heartbreak and tears. This animal, who was dependent upon their human to take care of them, had their own personality and infiltrated your daily life for years, is suddenly gone. There is a void created and you miss them and all their little quirks. Having a pet is not like having a plant or a stamp collection. These animals interact with you and influence your moods.

Upon completion of stressful days at my unsatisfying job, I come home and my Sadie talks to me. Well, after I turn the bathroom faucet on for her highness to drink, she comes and nuzzles me while purring loudly. If I can be completely transparent, I love that feeling. Her affection and joy at seeing me pushes out the angst and frustration in my heart. My stress level drops to where I do not feel like I will have a stroke at any minute – all without a prescription from a doctor.

People with kids will jump in here and try to trample this sentiment. I am not going to get into a debate about which is greater: kids vs pets. It’s not an apples to apples comparison. People with only pets will understand the unconditional love point I am making above. If you decide to have children, you will love them because of the potential they possess and the rewarding feeling you get from shaping a life. Even though at times you may think yourself crazy for going down that path. Don’t get me wrong, kids can be cute and amazing in their discoveries…but they also possess a lot of challenges and through their ignorance of the world, can crush your heart in many ways. Some people choose to have both pets and children and I commend you for taking on the extra expense and energy needed to love both.

So, for my present argument, I will say that I have loved many pets over the course of my life. From the dogs of my parent’s house to cats and dogs of my married years up to now with just my Sadie, I have tons of great memories. Each and every one of those animals had their own personality and I cried like a baby each time one of them passed away. Each and every day I got to hold those fuzzballs was like a workout for my heart. When you squeeze them and they are purring or licking your face, your heart just melts. You want to protect them and take care of them forever.

For those people who think of pets as just a dirty nuisance, yeah I get it. Cats and dogs track litter and dirt all over the place plus their hair ends up on every darn thing. Stir into the mix that some of them tear stuff up (chew/scratch furniture, knock stuff over, etc) and I can understand how that might try your patience – but if that’s the case, then you probably should be living in a museum or a house with plastic furniture covers anyway. Pets like children make life messy at times but the return on investment for me is well worth it. They take up such a small area of your home but fill such a large portion of the heart. Don’t get me wrong, pets like children can be little a-holes too but overall they are awesome little creatures that have gotten me through some of the darkest times in my head.

This concludes my PSA on owning and loving pets. Stepping back in time to my childhood dog Brandy the golden retriever all the way to present day Sadie the tortoise shell cat – having those animals in the house and in my life made me appreciate their importance in shaping how I evolved as a person and cared for them plus the other humans in my life.

Furball love. Peace.

Love on Netflix…and then

OK so no heavy topics or ranting today. It’s Friday and I am grasping for the life preserver to get on the weekend ship.

So for my musings today I will admit in print that I just finished watching Love, A Netflix Original Series. It was 10 episodes of a geeky guy and a train-wreck of a girl and their unlikely courtship. Each episode features several classic mistakes each gender makes when ‘dating’. It is a quick (binge) watch as there are only 10 episodes. On IMDB it lists a second season in production for 2017. I hope it picks up where it left off and continues the same vibe, unlike OITNB which seemed to lose its sh!t from season two to season three. Just my opinion.
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In addition to Love and OITNB, I tend to watch a couple of episodes of Awkward (MTV) on Hulu here and there. Set in a high school environment with lots of forward sexual culture but some watchability as well as you follow the main female character. Hopefully the new episodes of Ink Master (Spike TV) with appear soon on Hulu but in the meantime I can make do with Total Divas (WWE Network/E!).
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Once the weather warms up I plan to get off the couch and onto the softball diamond.

Maybe for my next blog post I will delve into the piece I have been contemplating for awhile on the downfall of society commensurating with the invention of the cell phone camera.
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I could really go for a Mountain Dew to pep me up this afternoon but I am trying to refrain from doing the mass caffeine thing anymore this week to possibly prolong my life by like five minutes somewhere down the road.

Remember if you have fifty dimes or one five dollar bill you have the same amount, one is just easier to carry. It’s like the age old question, what weighs more: a ton of feathers or a ton of gold? Obviously the ton of gold, if in bar format, is a little neater and cleaner to visualize. The ton of feathers is unwieldy and probably going to eventually overtake the ton of gold depending upon the humidity in the air and what type of feathers they are. That is a lot of naked birds by the way.

Do you wanna Rick Roll yourself?

On a scale of 1 to 15 of unfocusedness with 1 being the least focused and 15 being locked in a concentration trance…I think I am not drinking enough water based on the daily recommended intake amounts.
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For the next two hours or so, I want you to think of your favorite number, your favorite color, your favorite movie and your favorite person to refuse a rotten apple from.

I do not know where else to take this blindfolded horse being attacked by zombie birds so I will pull the cord and parachute down gently at the end…

Peace.

TH3 B3ST S3X OF YOUR LIF3

If my mom is reading this, I’m going to ask her to cover her eyes for at least a few paragraphs so this doesn’t feel weird. OK let’s begin…

When someone promises to give you the best sex of your life, how do they know what that is going to entail? Do they have an ice cream bar set up in one corner, a set or two of padded handcuffs, a Pandora station called No Roofies Needed playing seductively, a bed the size of a stretch limo with luxurious sheets and pillows, the air in the room scientifically enhanced to de-emphasize all of your body’s problem areas and enhanced/enlarge all the items that lovers want enhanced and enlarged all the while having a director telling your partner, “I need to feel your desire, it’s just not believable. You need to really commit here! More fans and confetti over here!”

Honestly to each person that scenario is going to warp and morph into something completely opposite of what the next person would ideally want to experience. Some females may want a hunky dude to throw them around like a ragdoll and be completely dominated…some may just want a marathon session with lots of sweating, dirty talk, friction, natural lubrication and ultimately multiple climaxes.

But what pushes that experience to be the best of your life? That’s a pretty bold and cocky (pardon the pun) endeavor. Is it a new and exciting experience? Being in public? Adding a partner? Doing a forbidden act? Toys? Achieving a target number of orgasms? Being videoed? Other technology? Oral? Pain? Anal? Watching porn? Sitting atop the washing machine? Having someone scream the alphabet backwards? Dipping your toes in pudding and body painting your partner?

I cannot answer that question for 99.9999~ % of the population who are of consenting age. But for me, the best sex of my life is being with someone who I can see myself having sex with for now and another 10,000 times regardless of variation. Rolling over afterwards all sweaty, smiling and content that I do not have to put my pants on in 10 minutes and leave is awesome. Someone I can fall asleep next to and listen to them breathe slowly and whisper to me in the moments afterwards also in uber-enticing. I am not a prude nor am I on par with the Ninja Warrior athletes – but I try 200% for my lady! All I want is the notion of a chance for the act to happen again tomorrow or the next day or the day after. The best sex bonds two people and squashes stress and doubts but it alone cannot be the glue that holds the relationship together.

Now I have nothing against random people hooking up to fill their needs if they cannot find that soul connection with douche nation running rampant everywhere. I just think the best sex happens after two people bare their inner most fears and doubts to one another and can feel naked without being naked. Yes there are countless variations of what a couple of naked humans can do to one another in the pain and pleasure realm, but the most powerful and satisfying sex is when those two people give all of themselves over to the other instead of two people with over-sized parts going fast and furious for 15 minutes, then get dressed and walking away like they just got the #6 combo from the menu at the Taco Bell drive thru.

OK mom you can uncover your eyes now. So the cohesive nature of the above arguments are likely under certain conditions to produce a positive experience that may achieve the desired results.

Bottom line, in my opinion, you cannot have the best sex of your life with someone you do not love or that does not love you. To all the side chicks out there: snap out of your dick-coma and go find your own dude. Life is like all those romantic comedies, if you keep trying you can land someone to love even if you are a dork (like me). Show your partner affection (try not to be smothering) and let them know that they are appreciated and that you find them attractive. From this base you may have a chance to experience the best sex of your life. Everything in life has its pitfalls and chances to fail…but damn-it if you don’t even try you have already failed.

To all: a Happy Peppy Post-Hump Day!

Peace.

Epilogue: As one piece of information pertaining to sex, when doing the 69 position, the female should always be on top. Always! Gravity and geometry will bear me out on this point. That is the only thing I am going to testify to with any certainty.

#ThanksDalton #DoNotTeabagTheOneYouLove #OneNightStandMaybeOKToTeabag

Friends

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Good day friends. What is a friend? In today’s convoluted society that term is virtually meaningless. In the time before social media, a friend was someone who in times of trouble or meaningful events in your life you reached out to (usually via phone) and shared those events and feelings. Don’t get me wrong there were still varying degrees of friends. Your best friend obviously. Your going out friend. Your really bad advice friend. And so on and so forth. It used to be a small circle of people who, right or wrong, had your back.
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When you experienced a romantic breakup, they (the true friend) let you vent or cry or whatever you needed to do to cleanse your soul. When you achieved some meaningful goal, they were there first in line to go out and celebrate, smile and laugh with you. Those real friends have seen you at your best and conversely seen you at your lowest but still claim you as friend and diligently pick you up when you need it.
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In today’s society, friends are viewed as more of a portfolio. I am so-and-so’s friend. I have so many friends – just look at my profile. Let’s be clear, you may have a lot of acquaintances but they are not real friends. Think I’m wrong? Start talking about your religious views or politics or make fun of their car or their pet or ask to borrow money and see if they are still talking to you tomorrow. Many of these relationships are tissue-paper in a thunderstorm weak and if tested will fail to hold up. Seriously if you don’t believe me – do a little field testing. I think a lot of people would be shocked back to reality and perhaps a little more cautious with what they ‘share’ once they discover the truth for themselves.
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Real friends run deep. Real friends know your secrets and you know theirs. Real friends don’t care about your social media posts or if you don’t like the local sports team. Real friends see through your defenses and can tell when you are hurting or holding something back. Real friends can pick up after not talking for a week or more and it just feels natural. There’s an easy flow there that cannot be replicated by “I just met them once and we talked about why Buffalo Wild Wings is over-rated for like twenty minutes”.
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This being said I have met and interact with many people mostly through my softball activities. I wouldn’t go as far as to call them friends but I have a ton of friendly acquaintance with potential to perhaps become friends.
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But in my world, I call a very small, select few true friends. Nothing against the vast masses on social media whom I chat to, Post for and respond to – most of them are very nice people. But let’s be serious, if your car broke down at 2 am are you calling me for assistance? If you needed a place to stay on a moment’s notice, who would you reach out to? If someone you cared about deeply was suddenly ripped from your life, who would you turn to? These scenarios should probably reveal who in your heart is your rock or pseudo-family outside of real family.
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I tend to look at things macro and micro quite a bit. I guess it comes from being forced to entertain myself a lot as a child and deductively trying to work things out. Hopefully, this post didn’t offend anyone lest I lose followers or virtual friends. This is not to say I don’t enjoy meeting new people and learning about them. In my opinion, a vital part of my creative process is constantly being introduced to new people and ideas. This is not to say a casual friendship cannot be developed. But everyone today throws around the term friend far too loosely. If you cannot spell the person’s first name correctly…you are probably not their true friend – just saying. If you have never physically been in the same place together or verbally spoken to them – you might not be real friends (feels like a Jeff Foxworthy moment here). I could be wrong, there are exceptions of course but I think these are the rules more than the exceptions.
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To my dear friends and my mom, who is one of my best friends – I thank you; for living this life would not be possible without the light you pour in to offset my self-generating darkness.
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For those of you that thought this was going down the Ross, Chandler, Monica, Joey, Phoebe and Rachel path – I sincerely apologize. That would have been a 10-year blog post of funny and endless quotes. But alas not this time.

Careful out there my friends, the world is full of people aimlessly running with scissors and practicing their selfie faces.

Peace and post.

Finding It

Good morning. Some days I sit down at a computer and have a rough idea of an idea I want to blog about for the day or on rare occasions maybe two or three ideas. Some of those ideas flow and lead to bigger and deeper pools of thought and sometimes after a very short burst the stream runs dry and I am left to fill in with silliness (which I know most of you appreciate greatly).

Today I have no real topic to focus on. I know it’s the Month of Death in my family’s history and I could easily slide into that vein and follow it straight to the heart but ironically I am not feeling my morbid side today.

Under my comedic and witty shell, I am just an average human male of our species. On a typical day, I consume food and beverage and usually operate a motor vehicle at least a couple times to traverse to local destinations. During the course of a 24 hour period, my heart beats somewhere around 110,000 times and I breathe around 22,000 times. Obviously this is for normal days where no stressing or exercise of some sort occur. I wont delve into bodily functions of elimination as that is kind of yucky and such. Each day I take a step towards my life’s expiration cliff, not knowing when it will be my last step and then an unexpected plummeting into the abyss. That is the uncertainty of life and spurs me to roll the dice and see what that next step has in store.

If you have someone to share all those heartbeats with (friend, lover, cat, dog, fish, ant farm, trapped ghost, etc), make them count.

Have a great Friday and please send rain my way. Lots and lots of noisy rain. Like buckets and bathtubs full of rain! Enough rain to make puddles and deeper pools of thought.

Peace.

Today

Today is always today
Just on a sliding scale
If you have a moment today
Tell someone you love them
Tomorrow will cut you deep
And take everything away
I’ve seen it before
And history just repeats
Today I had a conversation
That was done before it started
What was it I did say
It doesn’t much matter does it
Today smelling those roses
Before they un-bloom and die
Hey it’s all good and fine
I’ve got my today and so do you
Can’t decide if I’m hot or cold
Close my eyes, time to decide
Tell me about my blessings
Let’s see what you think you know

Today, love me
Today, just kill me
Today, is going to go on
Today, make a new memory

Going to take a trip
And pick myself up after the fall
Laugh it off, it’s no big deal
Everyone gets knocked down once and again
Today is the start of something
Maybe good but maybe the wrong path
But that’s half of life ain’t it
Finding a way back from nowhere
Reminding myself of things to do
Today because tomorrow is too late
The more I keep it simple
The more complicated it gets
Someone on the other side of the world
Is smiling for no reason at all
It’s later there but still right now
They are in the light, I’m in the dark
My sunrise might be their sunset
A beginning or an end
How much of your glass is half full
Let me empty mine to fill yours

Today, is just a new day
Today, tell me something new
Today, will make you laugh
Today, live it all the way through

You

Can’t dance too well to the beat
With these goofy two left feet
Do you like my nice, colorful shirt
Are you laughing at how bad I flirt
Can you see I don’t take myself too serious
Are you into me or am I just delirious

Look away and look back quick
To see if that does the trick
You are real and standing there
Beautiful eyes and long red hair
Letting loose a feeling deep inside
Scaring me, wanting to run and hide

I’ll sing you a one time song
I pray it doesn’t come out all wrong
So many things I want to say
To tell you I love you everyday
Close my eyes and sing from the heart
How I knew it was you from the start

So many minutes and seconds of time
To waste a moment with you is a crime
Come to me, let me hold your hand
In the clouds or on a beach with sand
I’m a sap and a sucker just for you
My love for you runs so deep and true

Religion

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So there it is. One of the top five things you never discuss. The others being politics, your finances, alternate sexuality and soccer.

In my lifetime I have never really had a defined religion. On occasion I have been inside a church for weddings and a random midnight mass in a previous relationship. But a church is not a religion. It’s just a building without desirable seating unlike the newer movie theaters with the plush recliners and drink tables.

But religion itself I just do not understand. Why do I need to assemble at designated times and places to speak to an almighty being who is omnipresent? Is the church building like a religious WiFi hotspot? Does God not get reception at my residence? If that’s the case, he/she probably cannot witness my checklist of no-no’s (mostly Sloth). Also if most churches convene on Sunday in the morning (staggered for time zones and across the globe) – aren’t you competing for his attention to hear prayers and such? Maybe that is God’s Sunday ticket like the NFL satellite package. Oh this church in Columbus, Ohio is involved in a defensive struggle and he would rather watch a shootout of action like a church in Wild Buffalo, Montana. Maybe God doesn’t like people who speak with accents because it’s harder to understand and follow so he tunes out people in New York or Texas? Perhaps God is a stickler for punctuation and grammar and he is secretly boycotting a church in Clearwater, Florida based on a printing error in their version of the bible from a cut-rate printer in Canada. What-if God can’t stand vegetarians and there is a Vegetarian-Only Church in Flagpole, England?

As usual I am taking a tongue-in-cheek approach to a topic that some people will not laugh about under any circumstance. Religion, politics, raising a child, sports, drugs, love, sexuality and many other very personal choices are colored by each person’s life experiences. Some of these things you may not have had exposure to at a young age; where certain principles are set for you and repeatedly enforced or harped upon. So when this occurs and you are left to explore and come to conclusions and philosophies on your own, it takes on more of a personal flavor and will cross boundaries that other people cannot fathom.

In my opinion, I think it’s hard to relate a book (the bible) that was written back in a time when some of the greatest thinkers thought the Earth was flat and the day to day existence was basic as shelter and survival of a family unit as compared to what exists today. Not saying some of the principles and concepts are not applicable or worth valuing but the landscape is like a different planet from those times. And if this book was really written (and selectively edited) by persons of forward thinking, why didn’t they allude to the radical changes of the present day or what the world will evolve into in another 50 or 100 years from now? I know a very small piece of the bible and the Cliff Notes version of many stories, still I don’t see where a book that has origins 3400 years ago or the other versions that appeared 1500 years after that can be the know-all be-all of everyday life in the year 2015 or beyond. Maybe if the Earth’s crust cracks open and 95 percent of the population is obliterated and all the knowledge and technology is lost – then the bible becomes relevant and forefront again.

With all this being said, I am not at all religious. Instead, I like to think of myself as a bit spiritual but not religious. Have there been times in my life when I have had verbal or mental conversations with God? Yes. He/she has never spoken to me but once I asked for him/her to remove a bully from school and later that year the bully got busted for stealing and was expelled. Coincidence? Who knows. But I didn’t have to go to church to make the request. I didn’t have to chant some submissive phrase from a mass printed book of indeterminate age.

I could probably fill up an entire book on the subject and flow back and forth to make points for my point of view but the ones who love their religion and in turn need it, bless them. Let them have it. If it makes them stronger and a better person then go on and embrace the facets that are needed. However, if you are using it (cryptic passages from hundreds of years ago) to further your own hateful opinions and make an argument to interject yourself into someone else’s business that is none of your business then I say I hope your bible spontaneously combusts in your lap and you are torched by your short-sighted petty thinking. Sounds like I am preaching a bit doesn’t it? Ha. I think your spirituality should spark a passion. But instead of sitting in sermon time-out on a Sunday reading old words and punching an after-life time clock, how about you take your spirituality and put it into action. How about have your church be convened in the soup kitchens, pet shelters and other charitible outlets for the time you spend on those prayer days? Wouldn’t that make a better use of the time and a better use of the energy and produce a positive result for society, not to mention improve your hereafter resume?

Stop judging others for their skin color and their sexual preference and just realize most of them are like you under their black, tan or white skin. Trying to survive the day. Missing a loved one no longer with them. Stressing about paying their bills. Wanting a better life for their children. Trying to make sense of the world around them.

For the people waiting for Jesus to return…what if he did but was so disappointed by what he saw that he didn’t reveal himself and slipped quietly away, never to return? Now what? What if the atrocities committed in every country, every day are so over the line that God has dropped us like a dissatisfied cable customer? I forget the quote or the exact context of the sentence I’m about to write but it was said: Maybe Jesus, if he were here today, would not approve of the religions being perpetrated in his name. In his teachings he was more about the concepts and ideas of religion than the religion itself because ideas and concepts can be talked about and changed but religion is not easily changed. This is a horrible paraphrase, forgive me, but you can kind of see what the thought was. Live your life by a set of rules or guidelines based on your needs and a moral compass of right and wrong. Pass those ideas on to your family for the greater good.

Okay here I will take a step back and apologize if I have offended. These are just my thoughts and by no means the gospel of how life should be. Life is series of events, mistakes and recoveries. Let your heart and conscience guide you to your passion and your strengths. Others may be drawn to or repelled by the true you but let that be your guiding spirit. Not everyone is a piece needed for your puzzle.

Hope your energy is positive and you have a kick butt weekend.

Peace.

Beautiful – By Christina Aguilera

(Don’t look at me)

Everyday is so wonderful
And suddenly, it’s hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain,
I’m so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring me down, oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

To all your friends you’re delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness,
The pieces gone,
Left the puzzle undone,
Ain’t that the way it is?

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can’t bring you down, no, no
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes words can’t bring you down, oh, no
So don’t you bring me down today

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what we say
(no matter what we say)
We’re the song inside the tune
(yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Full of beautiful mistakes
And everywhere we go
(and everywhere we go)
The sun will always shine
(sun will always, always shine)
But tomorrow we might awake
On the other side

‘Cause we are beautiful,
No matter what they say
Yes, words won’t bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can’t bring us down, oh no
So don’t you bring me down today

Don’t you bring me down today
Don’t you bring me down…
Mmm, today

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is an everyday song (for me) just like Bleed It Out by Linkin Park. I could listen to each of these songs everyday and it would at least catch a corner of my mood. The exterior world is callous and forgetting and suicidal. So few days do things get built that are beautiful and can be enjoyed before the tidal waves of a tsunami of negativity level and annihilate the beauty and good vibes. Most days are a struggle to want to rebuild the beauty much less try to do so. But on the foundations of love, friendship and hope the rubble gets pushed aside and the rebuilding starts all over again…

Peace.

Ghosts of Relationships Past

Frustration-Eats-Pencil2

So I have a current pet peeve. Since its my blog I can vent here and be as whiny as I want.

I am currently in a relationship with a beautiful woman and we have been exclusive for many months now and we live together with her 4 year old son (its his birthday today – Happy Birthday!). The crux of my grumblyness is the fact that she is still cyber friends with many previous flings. Some of them have faded to the occassional text or random Instant Message but there are a small handful who still carry a noticeable torch. These cyber dudes also are ‘friends’ on her social media profiles including Snapchat. What irks me about this select few is that they only ‘Like’ certain posts and pictures. Most notably ones that are selfies she took of just herself. The other posts or pictures that refer to me and her or her child – they do not “Like’ those. Curious I say. I can only throw out a SMH and wish them many papercuts and extremely poor gas mileage.

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

January-September 2013

Hello all and by all you know who I mean. 🙂

It has been a rough year in 2013. Its been a year of change and loss for me. I’ve lost my puppy Rio to an aggressive tumor, my cuddly kitty of 21 years Mischief to old age, I’ve lost my marriage/relationship of 21 years, lost my home-based business to failure, my home-base and lost most of my mind.

I’m still playing some softball a few nights a week to allow myself some time for escape. I quit my men’s tournament softball team to focus on the coed tournament team with mixed results so far. Love my coed team Stl Fury and do not regret the move one bit.

Other than that not much is happening except I’m trying to hold on until January at my job so I can get my 401K match money before I look to saner pastures. Ah the things we do for money…

My circle of friends has been overwhelmingly supportive and I love them dearly. I honestly do not know what I would’ve done without their support. Holidays are looming and that should present some sad challenges.

My goals are simple in the coming months. First: survive the rest of the year (lol). Second: wrap up my pending divorce and lock down my new living situation. Third: be responsible financially.

In the event I get hit by a bus or a meteorite tomorrow and this ends up being my last blog (I sincerely hope not!) then I’d like to thank all my friends and my mom for letting me lean on them as much as I have. I feel like I can achieve alot more than I have been and look forward to doing bigger and better things once I start to heal from a very painful year.

Go Indians! Much love to my universe. Peace…