Time Change!

Good morning!

It is a certain time this morning but I swear it feels an hour earlier! (crickets)

This joke went over about as well as the one I made when dropping off the child at school latchkey this morning. Perhaps the extra earliness took away from the joke’s zing or perhaps it just wasn’t that funny, it matters not! We as a nation should feel outraged that collectively we were robbed of another hour! Stop taking our hours away!

I acknowledge that this practice of adding & subtracting sixty minutes twice annually was to somehow benefit the farming community (although I do not see how) but it is antiquated and should be discontinued! Moving the sunrise up and the sunset up in the short term changes nothing. The amount of work the farmers do is still the same! The rest of us poor schleps have to mentally deal with knowing that we are up an hour earlier with no real benefit. It’s madness I tell you!

OK it’s mostly just whining. This whole moving the clocks/time an hour does nothing to improve my status as a non-morning person. In fact, it probably cements it even more to the extent that I’m less of an early afternoon person based on my internal clock settings.

Moving forward (pun intended), write your global congressmen and women and demand an end to this silly practice of manipulating the clocks! We need every single hour in my estimation!

Everyone have a great Monday (as possible anyway) and talk to you soon!

Peace.

<<03-11-2019>>

Game of Thrones – Season 8 (my guesses) at Spoilers

GOTBooks

OK so here it is, my official spoilers for Season 8! And when I say official spoilers…I know nothing of what is to come. Except Winter of course, Winter is definitively coming!

Continue reading “Game of Thrones – Season 8 (my guesses) at Spoilers”

Flu Shots

Hello! Is it me you’re looking for?

Why yes, Lionel Richie I have been looking for you. But to quote the band U2, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”.

With some silly shenanigans dispensed with, let’s talk about flu shots. Do you get them? How many times have you gotten them? Do you look down on people who do not get them? Are you secretly organizing a movement to ostracize people who do not get the flu shot (free or otherwise)? Let’s put all of our Uno cards on the table and make this interesting.

The reason I bring flu shots up is because my work is offering free flu shots. Actually in recent years, most of my employers have either offered a free flu shot or a reduced cost version to their employees on site. To date, I have never accepted this offer of mass produced safeguard. Why is that? My stock response: what for? Last time I have checked, I have been in existence (this time around) for 4.5 decades. As of today, zero flu shots for me. And to my recollection, I have not died. More to the point, in recent years I have rarely contracted the flu; even though it seems like everyone around me usually does – even the ones who get said flu shot. That is interesting don’t you think?

I mention this because it seems like every year when the flu shots are made available and peers ask if I’m getting one and I respond that I am not, they look at me like I just said “Madonna should really run for president of the United States next time around”. The only thing I could think to do to up the perplexed look factor for other would be to write on my hand, “Need a beef Jolly Rancher flavor” and repeatedly point to my hand. The disbelief and condescension in those looks is priceless when I acknowledge declining the Holy Grail of wellness maintenance. What? I don’t want this tiny injection of mystery goo that may or may not work with my immune system? Oh the madness! My ignorance! Somewhere the Umbrella Corporation powers that be are chuckling evilly and slowly rubbing their virtual palms together.

Now if there was an anti-Noro Virus shot…I would be first in line for that every time. That affliction was uber-nasty and I would never like to experience that again. But for the most part, me and the flu, we don’t really have too many issues. Also if there was a shot to prevent a season’s worth of headaches, I would do that one too. But for now, someone else is welcome to take my dose of the T-virus, uh I mean flu shot for me.

Is it just me or does it seem like flu shots seem to fall into ‘that’ category along with talking politics or religion? If you don’t want to offend some, you just don’t do it (talk about it). So I will take my own advice henceforth and not talk about Flu Shot Fight Club. I think if my life was made into a movie, Hollywood would cast SpongeBob to play me. Aim high! Who plays softball all over the sea: SpongeScott Square Pants! Who is cool and amusing as can be: SpongeScott Square Pants!

Hope everyone out there is having a stress-free Thursday and let’s all convene soon to discuss multi-level marketing as a basis for ill-gotten wealth.

Peace!

<<09-21-2017>>

Pre-Fourth of July (Monday)— Silly and Goofy Stuff

So you may be asking yourself: “Self, is semordnilap a real word?”
And then you think to yourself, where did this thought pop in from? Obviously you were thinking of palindromes and from there branched off into words spelled backward that are themselves words but not the same word as the first word spelled forwards. For instance, bats spelled backwards is stab. It is not a palindrome because it makes a different word, whereas madam spelled backwards is the same and is a valid palindrome. So the unofficial word for the new word backwards is semordnilap or the word palindromes backwards. Clever huh? Perhaps.

Now, is the word semordnilap legit? Kinda. Is it recognized by the powers that be that physically print and publish hardcopy dictionaries? No…but on-line from the Google machine it is commonly accepted. Now, here is my list of top ten favorite palindromes: boob, stats, noon, toot, mom, level, sees, poop, pip, kook and murdrum! What? That was 11? Well then the last one was free! No Charge!

With the year more than half over with, let’s take a moment of silence (hears fireworks in the distance)…I said let’s take a moment of silence (more fireworks explosions or perhaps guns shots?)…let’s just take a moment to appreciate our families and loved ones, near and beyond far, and what they mean to us.

.    .    .    .   .

Thank you. Have a safe and wonderful day/week to celebrate the good things about our lives.

Peace.

Topical or not topical

Good day greetings with a wave of webbed fingers as we here in Missouri are adapting and evolving with the existing weather pattern.

As I set out on writing each post I try to mentally categorize the piece as topical or non-topical. When writing about an exotic vegetable or fruit eating experience, that is non-topical because that can be read 365 days per year and it could be relevant information if they (the reader) are considering eating those items. If I am talking about the week’s weather, a winning streak in baseball, the Powerball numbers or the hockey playoffs, those topics tend to skew towards topical in flavor. Because depending on the time of the year, those happenings or circumstances may not overlay onto the reader’s seasonal experience.

If I write about today’s cold and dreary weather here in (Barnhart) on May the 4th (May The Fourth Be With You…for the Star Wars geeks) and my reader comes across the piece in July or August, the reading experience may not keep them engaged until the end. Don’t get me wrong, I do kind of like to timeline my posts here and there so if I go back and read them I can mentally be like, oh yeah I vaguely recall that timeframe. But for every two or three of those I like to construct a piece with some legs that can be read and make my reader see a well thought out point or maybe just something funny and fluffy to brighten their day.

Today I would like to debut an original song, let’s call it The Weather Song as it is just a working title.

Mother Nature, why are you crying your angry tears?
Seems like this happens on the odd numbered years
Traffic’s a bitch and the ground’s all muddy
At least the rain is clear and not all bloody
(3 minute guitar solo)
The grass and trees are getting so very green
Only the rooftop of Queen of Hearts can be seen
So clear your skies and schedule an Uber
Maybe we all wont get tuber…culosis
(2.5 minute xylophone solo)
Your wrath is epic and your wind so blowy
Let’s unclog and get them rivers all flowy
Rain, rain, rain, rain rain, rain, rain
Just go the Hell away, far away, stupid rain!
(1 minute of un-rhythmic humming)
<<<END SONG>>>

Thank you, thank you. It should be up on iTunes sometime this century.

Have a stimulated and amused day my friends.

Peace.

Car Commercial

So I heard a car commercial where the car dealer said they are good people that sell good cars to good people.

This doesn’t seem that smart from a marketing standpoint. You may be alienating a certain avenue of people. What if some people know they are bad? Then you potentially just lost a sale! Unless that person tries to fool the process and slip through to commandeer one of their good cars for a bad person with potentially bad intentions. This probably gets more into a moral discussion of doing good things and positive intentions but overall could be deemed a gray area. Or what if the person is unawares that they are ‘bad people’ and their bad psyche is awakened in this process? This dealer could be liable for unleashing a prime evil out into the world.

Ohhh this gives me the shivers. Wait. Perhaps it’s just the below freezing temperatures. Yeah, more than likely that is it.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the good car people. On the flip-side, what proof are they willing to put forth that their cars are good? What if in the factory someone died horribly or an evil essence was just passing through and became entrapped in one of their vehicles? Way too many variables for my comfort level here.

In the meantime, I will just stick with my current vehicle and try not to make any moral judgements about it so it does not feel ostracized or get overly righteous. Those cars with big egos can be such a high maintenance headache.

If the universe conspires to where you have to procure a vehicle, be careful and maybe bring your own witch doctor to ensure the juju on four wheels is in alignment with your cosmic path.

Peace!

…utri…

track
(Here is an original Blog I had written two months ago before I switched tracks to route to a different theme)
fiberone_
What does it mean to you? Ponder that for a moment while I systematically consume my Fiber One Oats and Chocolate Chewy (granola) Bar.
mixed-bag
OK so what did you come up with? To me utri means I ripped the wrapper in two places and the word nutrition was truncated. A bit of a let down perhaps and I apologize. If I try to reach out into the universe for a deeper meaning, perhaps it means more. Phonetically utri could sound like you-tree or you-try. Since I do not wish to be a casualty of the logging industry, I will opt for the second pronunciation of you-try. This seems more fitting for me and my persona. I do try. I really really do. The results may be a mixed bag and sometimes a downright failure but the bottom line is I do try. Whether it be at my job, softball, my personal relationships, encouraging a willful 4 (almost 5) year old in the right direction or just doing things outside of my bubble (read comfort zone) I make the effort and try.
sarcastic
So with each day’s struggles and challenges it is good to step back and find a second or two of nonsense to make you giggle out loud. Yes some people will think you are crazy but hey, that’s just a bonus!

Peace.

Search Words in Google Image Search

Occasionally I check my Blog stats to see what search terms were used to navigate to my site. Energy drinks, seppuku, elapids, Jurassic World, comedy, social media, baseball and Unknown Search Terms are the most popular. So I at random put unrelated words or phrases into the search field and see what I get. Here are some examples and the first image it pulls up:

T-Rex eating a cheese sandwich
TREX_Cheese

Chingy sings Frank Sinatra
Chingy

Mirror Mirror Mirror Candyman
Candyman

Off the shoulder bird poop
Bird-Poop-On-my-shoulder

Justin Timberlake reads my blog
JT

Friday destroys Monday and becomes four day weekend
Friday

Chicken bunny and ninja turtle race
bunny race

Hard rock music on mute in kitchen
Mute

That’s what she said
Thats

Happy (Hump) Friday! Peace!

camels

Calendar vs Colander

These two words comprised of 8 letters have dissimilar meanings and yet they share 7 of the same letters.

A calendar by (noun) definition is: a chart or series of pages showing the days, weeks, and months of a particular year, or giving particular seasonal information.

A colander by (noun) definition is: a perforated bowl used to strain off liquid from food, especially after cooking.

If you will notice all the consonants are in the same place and order in each word but the vowels differ.

What does this have to do with the price of iced tea at the QT in southern Jefferson County? Not a gosh darn thing. I just found it slightly interesting.

Find your quirky moment today. Smile.

Peace.

Anti Social Media

snick

Just so everyone doesn’t think I am just a downer, grumpy goose all the time, here is a silly meaningless post.
Hashtag eating a Snickers with my left hand.
The inside of the Snickers wrapper states I could win cash and prizes but who are they kidding. I’ll just take my 27 grams of sugar and become A-D-D incarnate! (For the record my code entitled me to a coupon for a free Snickers!)
How come when you eat ice cream you get a brain freeze but when you eat something hot you don’t get a brain melt?
OH well back to Snapchat, Words with Friends, Facebook and texting before my weekend of drinking, eating, floating, sleeping and enjoying fire with friends (not an app).
Peace out.