Almost to June…


Mr Alfred Matthew Yankovic was born 13 years prior to my arrival on planet Earth. He is in my top 5 of all-time favorite comics along with George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bob Newhart and Robin Williams. Lookout Bob and Al – the other three in that grouping are sadly silent these days.
With that said I am a little geeked up about a few things. First off, Tuesday, June 2nd is the release of the BNL (Barenaked Ladies) new album called SILVERBALL. Thirteen tracks of new stuff – I can hardly wait – like Weird Al’s character in the song Hardware Store. See what I did there? Huh?
Also in exactly two weeks I sit in the tattoo chair for the first time to get a little chest work done, maybe move up to a B-cup…um I mean get some (bloody – literally) artwork etched on my skin for eternity or until I get cremated later this century. Should be a hoot and of course a picture or two shall be forthcoming!
The day after I get strapped into ‘The Chair’ – Jurassic World comes out in theaters! Dinos! Dinos! Dinos! In my head I just heard the bark-noise Dino from the Flintstones makes when he is excited. Odd. Anywho, aquatic dinosaurs and land loving dinosaurs alike will make the screen tremble and quake with their awesomeness.

OK I just need to survive the next couple of hours and then I’m free to go home and hibernate underneath some blankets until softball tonight.

Peace my friends. Thanks for the readering of my brain typings.


Today is always today
Just on a sliding scale
If you have a moment today
Tell someone you love them
Tomorrow will cut you deep
And take everything away
I’ve seen it before
And history just repeats
Today I had a conversation
That was done before it started
What was it I did say
It doesn’t much matter does it
Today smelling those roses
Before they un-bloom and die
Hey it’s all good and fine
I’ve got my today and so do you
Can’t decide if I’m hot or cold
Close my eyes, time to decide
Tell me about my blessings
Let’s see what you think you know

Today, love me
Today, just kill me
Today, is going to go on
Today, make a new memory

Going to take a trip
And pick myself up after the fall
Laugh it off, it’s no big deal
Everyone gets knocked down once and again
Today is the start of something
Maybe good but maybe the wrong path
But that’s half of life ain’t it
Finding a way back from nowhere
Reminding myself of things to do
Today because tomorrow is too late
The more I keep it simple
The more complicated it gets
Someone on the other side of the world
Is smiling for no reason at all
It’s later there but still right now
They are in the light, I’m in the dark
My sunrise might be their sunset
A beginning or an end
How much of your glass is half full
Let me empty mine to fill yours

Today, is just a new day
Today, tell me something new
Today, will make you laugh
Today, live it all the way through

Energy Drinks – 18th De Mayo

Bienvenidos a mi blog hoy!

Esto termina efectivamente la parte española de mi blog …
Everyday I pull up the stats on my blog to see where I am being read or at least pulled up before they navigate to the desired website page. Apparently I had a hit from Croatia on my En-Er-Gy Drinks page from April 2013 – which according to my Twitter page is my leading hits page to date (for the record my Twitter feed is very reputable).

So, in honor of the international hits, I decided to open with a couple phrases in Spanish. Yes I know the official language of Croatia is Croatian but I thought it would be quirky to throw in some Spanish just for flavor.
So back to the roots of today’s post. I thought since I was staring across my desk at a Venom Death Adder energy drink containing 230 calories (57G of carbs – yikes!) that I could do better on my previous energy drink entries (it also has 200% of the daily allowance of Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6 & B12). Anyone who knows me knows I have a weak spot for a few of the zip-pity-dew-dah drinks. Full Throttle – Citrus and Agave flavors – hold my top spots and then I will accept two of the Venom entries (Death Adder and Killer Taipan) and three of the Amp line (Elevate – blue can, Original – green can, Traction – purple can). I do not like any of the Red Bull varieties or the Monster or Rockstar concoctions. Just my opinion here so if your taste buds think these are OK – more power to you.
This has been my energy drink soap box. Energy drinks be good, yum-yum. Health risks may lurk but what is each day without a little danger? Getting behind the wheel on a major highway is far more risky and stressful. So I will enjoy my 160 milligrams of caffeine today and toe tap to some Sara Bareilles calling out the jerks of the world.
Hope your Monday was productive and profitable too. I have a little softball to look forward to later. You play some ball or smart phone games (I am currently working on level 116 on Candy Crush Soda Saga). Why? Why? Because tomorrow is another day!
See you soon and keep enjoying all your favorite movie quotes.
Dude sweet



I would like to start off today’s blog with a classic joke:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

This borrowed joke lends itself to my dark tinged humor. It points out that you never know when your tether to this world may disengage (unless you have a suicide schedule or are being drug down to the depths by a Great White shark or are in a plane with the fuel gauge on Empty at 30,000 feet or a myriad of other certain death scenarios). Your ticket could be punched in 1 minute or 75 years from now. Truth.

With that on the table, I like to play softball.
Did I just jump the track on you? Let me explain.

I frequently play slow pitch softball which is a cousin to baseball and a step or two below fast pitch softball. Each has its own echelon of players ranging from the ridiculously great to the solid skill players and then the average and of course the hopelessly terrible. Depending upon the day, I think I fall into the average to hopelessly terrible categories. But skill level is really irrelevant for this piece. The game itself is my parallel for life.

Sometimes you are playing with your team in your comfort zone and your team is winning and everything is peaceful, maybe even joyous. You chip in a few hits, nothing spectacular but contributing. You aren’t hurting your team on defense either. Making a play or two, nothing highlight reel but coasting along to a team win. Good times. Then other times that same team is struggling. The pitcher is walking alot of the other team’s hitters. The fielders are dropping fly balls or making bad throws and your team just can’t string together hits to score enough runs. Guys (or gals) start trying to do things they normally don’t do (like learning to hit opposite field after being nothing but a dead pull hitter or trying to drop bombs aka hit home runs) and the unraveling process speeds up and you lose. Normally softball games are seven innings in length but if your team plays poorly enough you can get short-gamed (aka mercy ruled) when the other team puts up so many runs by a designated inning and you have very few in comparison. Thus invoking the mercy of ending the awful showing – with (So You Had A) Bad Day by Daniel Powter playing softly in the background.

Sometimes life invokes it’s own mercy rule. Maybe it occurs after a bad call was made and no one looked at the replay to say hey that’s not right but those are the breaks. So when life gives you a bad hop to the chest or you pull your glove up too soon on a grounder or your home run curves foul or you simply are left standing in the on deck circle as that last out is recorded when you know you had one more hit in you – take a breath and appreciate the scene. Chances are, what the landscape looks like today, will change by tomorrow even if it is only a slight change. Everyday you are here, those slight changes will evolve until the picture is completely different.
In life or on the softball field, you have your friends who you want to see do well and you cheer for them or pat them on the back for encouragement after an error or a bad at-bat. But on the flipside, there are those whom you dislike alot and you try to give a little extra effort or mental focus to beat. It’s pretty easy to overlay that template in life – wanting the positive for the perceived’ good guys’ and pulling for the dreaded Wolff’s Softball Haven bad infield hop to the throats of hated ‘bad guys’.
So put on your fielding glove or batting gloves and go play. The score doesn’t matter. Winning and losing doesn’t matter. Just be there in the moment and enjoy it because when the game is over, it’s over.
In case I do not see you any further tomorrows, I thank you for reading and maybe smiling or nodding at the sentiments.

Peace and love my friends.

Last Night

Had that same dream
It’s always the same
Where I die
And no one notices
Life goes on
As if I never was

I’m still there
But just invisible
Just a shadow
Moving through the light
They look
Look right through me

I remember dying
And how it felt
It wasn’t so bad
Just a blink and over
Oh so much
Should’ve been different

Can’t close my eyes
And be all alone
I can hear everything
But everyone sounds far away
Nothing is hot or cold
It just feels sad

Maybe I shouldn’t sleep
And look for dreams
No good can come from that
All the rules just bend
Slow motion and so close
Only to shatter in a second

A dark room
In the middle of the night
Heart pounding
I’m still breathing
For now
Until I dream again

Calendar vs Colander

These two words comprised of 8 letters have dissimilar meanings and yet they share 7 of the same letters.

A calendar by (noun) definition is: a chart or series of pages showing the days, weeks, and months of a particular year, or giving particular seasonal information.

A colander by (noun) definition is: a perforated bowl used to strain off liquid from food, especially after cooking.

If you will notice all the consonants are in the same place and order in each word but the vowels differ.

What does this have to do with the price of iced tea at the QT in southern Jefferson County? Not a gosh darn thing. I just found it slightly interesting.

Find your quirky moment today. Smile.


What to talk about…


Shall I go on about Deflategate? Nope don’t think so.

How about the royal birth? Wash your hands and I’ll pass.

Lawsuits by individuals trying to capitalize on perceived racism? (eye roll and disgusted noise made)

The social segregation within pods of dolphins vs porpoises? Apparently dolphins are too good for porpoises because porpoises are fatter. Seems mean but it is not just a thing within their species. By the way, a grouping of dolphins or porpoises is called a pod and usually consists of 12 or more.
How about both teams in MLB from the state of Missouri are in first place in their respective Central Divisions as of right now at 2:45pm. KC Royals 19 wins 10 losses and the STL Cardinals 21-7. Meh. Sure we can talk about good baseball teams if you like but what about my Indians at the bottom of the American League with 10 wins? Hmmm? Yeah I don’t want to talk about them either.
My favorite color is blue. My softball number is 33.

OK. I panicked there for a second. Didn’t know what to write about! The pressure of reading minds and playing Candy Crush Soda Saga on level 96.

If I had back all of the time from when I’ve said, Well there is XX minutes of my life I wont get back I think I would be 27 again.

Sorry I’m a bit fractured in my thoughts today.

Remember 35 days until Jurassic World is open!


Can’t dance too well to the beat
With these goofy two left feet
Do you like my nice, colorful shirt
Are you laughing at how bad I flirt
Can you see I don’t take myself too serious
Are you into me or am I just delirious

Look away and look back quick
To see if that does the trick
You are real and standing there
Beautiful eyes and long red hair
Letting loose a feeling deep inside
Scaring me, wanting to run and hide

I’ll sing you a one time song
I pray it doesn’t come out all wrong
So many things I want to say
To tell you I love you everyday
Close my eyes and sing from the heart
How I knew it was you from the start

So many minutes and seconds of time
To waste a moment with you is a crime
Come to me, let me hold your hand
In the clouds or on a beach with sand
I’m a sap and a sucker just for you
My love for you runs so deep and true

Amateur Song Writer

Good morning and happy Friday. Hope today finds you well and with happiness in your heart and inspiration to do something you love to do.
For some of my more seasoned readers you may have noticed some verses in place of rambling blog commentaries from time to time. For those of you wondering where those items come from – they are from me (unless noted as song posts from the noted artists).

Believe it or not, I have been an amateur songwriter since 1985 when I was 13. Now if you have read some of my stuff you may scoff at the viability of my prose but a few of my song-like writings have been used by friends in church, wedding ceremonies (Thanks Jen) and one failed garage band (lol). I have crossed genres (rap anyone? Vanilla Ice on line one laughing uncontrollably) and even collaborated with my childhood friend Matt on some pieces. He is far more talented and musically inclined as he can pick a little guitar and play piano/keyboards plus he used to be able to sing a little. My musical ability ends at being able to sit at a table and nod my head with the beat of playing music (sorry for Party Rockin – LMFAO).
When it comes to subject matter I tend to embrace the darker themes and draw from past pain to paint a picture or feeling. In my life I see where my decisions have led me – good and bad. I try not to place blame on others as most of what we do has a direct correlation to things we choose to ignore or just chalk up to a fleeting situation. You cannot control what others do or think so it becomes essential to realize who you are as a person and what you value. From that starting point you can see if what you feel matches up with what you know about others and the clashes down the road. So much in life is wrapped in pain and hardship kept behind a tissue thin curtain as the rain starts again.

So I may have lost you along the way, for that I apologize. The point I am making is that I like to channel images and feeling into my writing. If that translates into something funky that you can sway to or shake your head side to side about – bonus. Entertainment is what I am striving for with my tweets, Facebook and blog posts. I tend to be quirky and at times thought provoking. But to get to those things sometimes you have to purge what is holding back your soul. For as long as I can remember I have been plagued with over-thinking everything to death (probably why I cannot sleep for more than 90 minutes at a stretch). So if you do not like my ‘songs’ I humbly request that you forgive me. It’s just part of my alternating current (AC Current) waveform. To get to the top I need to accelerate on the down-slope to get back up. This analogy is all I have to show from my AC/DC circuits course I took many years ago at Jefferson College when I thought I was going to be an electronics major.
Thank you for riding the waves with me this far. Hopefully more laughs are to follow but bear with me when the clouds gather, darken and promise a deluge of sloppy sideways drops of mental rainy turmoil.

Have a great day, weekend and life. Peace.


OK. Looking around my desk I can name 5 things – name brands:

Full Throttle – energy drink – yummy, makes me peppy.
Nestle Pure Life – bottled water – does not make me peppy but makes me peepee.
Jack Link’s Teriyaki Beef Steak Tender Bites – beef jerky nuggets – dried out meat that is fun to chew and taste but makes my breath need gum.
Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit – small container of gum to help offset the aftermath of beef jerky consumption.
Puffs – facial tissue – for when allergies or the common cold make runny mucas cascade from my nose area.
Chiquita – bananas – nature’s alleged perfect fruit – from Mexico, Guatemala and Honduras so far this past week according to the stickers I have saved.
There are obviously more but these were the fun ones. 😉

Happy Friday and type at ya later!


By the way, I added one more to make it six instead of five! Ha!