Podcast Thursday

1-11. How about 1-11-111? What is this some sort of code? Oh 01-11-2018. I’m with ya now.

Today is podcast Thursday! So far today I have been listening to a few different podcasts including my own. Some of you may be asking: why do I listen to my own podcast? Well for a couple of reasons. First off I want to make sure the audio levels are decent and there isn’t too much secondary noise or whatnot that is detracting from the listening quality of the show. Second, I want to see if the show has flow and decent content. Yes I tend to map out topics beforehand and obviously I am the only one talking about them but you are never sure how external stimuli affect the logical flow and delivery of the material. And lastly, I am trying to make sure each show is a little bit different and not just a rehash of the same old thing from show to show. Being able to introduce new topics or adequately explain point of views is necessary; otherwise what is the point of putting out a podcast show? If it’s boring and senseless I might just as well make a show recording all the times I brush my teeth during the week.

So for all those people who have checked out my podcast: The Freak Show on the Podbean app – gracias!

Happy Thursday ~~ Peace.

<<01-11-2018>>

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Nestle Crunch !

Good morning and hopefully, happy end to the year of 2017 for you!

Today is Friday the 29th and my last day of work this year. After a fitful night of sleep, I was in need of some kind of a pick me up. First and foremost I needed an energy drink. Since my go to Full Throttle Energy was sold out at the local gas station, I opted for the second choice which was The Green Edition of Red Bull. Now what to pair with this?

I’m sure my co-workers are quite accustomed to me showing up with an energy drink and some sort of breakfast snack a few times a week. Not that I think they particularly care but in general people notice stuff. So while walking around the inside of the gas station, I stopped in front of the candy bar section. The red, white and blue packaging with a ‘fake’ torn out reveal section showing Made with 100% Real Chocolate of the Nestle Crunch bar caught my eye.

A Crunch bar? Yes, it was meant to be! A 2.75 ounce, 4 piece Share Pack bar sounded like just the ticket. Internally I started thinking: “when was the last time I bought a Crunch bar?” Honestly I did not know. Over the years around Halloween and Christmas time, I’ve probably eaten about 7000 of those tiny snack-sized Crunch bars from the kid’s trick or treat bag or from the community candy bowl at family gatherings. But actually bough the adult sized candy bars? My memory fails me. It has been quite some time but through no fault of the product. The taste and texture of the chocolate plus the crispy crunch, It’s a fun time for your mouth! So I tip my hat to the Nestle people and say ‘Thank You’ for the Crunch bar. I will enjoy your product this morning as I try to elevate my energy to survive the last working day of this year for myself.

To all, cheers and Happy Holidays!

Peace.

<<12-29-2017>>

Customer Service…or not

Hello and Merry one week until Christmas (Monday to Monday).

Today I have had two encounters with two different companies for issues that required engaging these companies’ customer service departments. The first one, after a 23 day wait and second impatient Tweet, resulted in the desired outcome to replace my damaged iPad from last month’s flight to Atlanta. The second interaction was not as successful, even though this bout of customer service is on its sixth e-mail response on top of a verbal call that came while standing in the TV room of a tire replacement business. Continue reading

If I was NFL Commissioner

Hello and welcome to the What-If portion of my mind!

Helmet

That’s like totally most of it most days but whatever! From last year into this year, there seems to be an unusual amount of unrest associated with the NFL. Many longtime fans (Vin Scully included) have said they plan to stop watching the games, TV ratings are down and more people seem to talk about the people associated with the league as opposed to the product on the field. So let me take this chance to throw my hat in the ring to be the next NFL commissioner…unless that Tweet from earlier nets me the University of Tennessee head football coaching job. Continue reading

Butterfly Effect, Traffic Edition

Forgive me but some days it seems like I am holding it together by Popsicle sticks, energy drinks and sheer force of will.

I know you have no clue what is swirling around in my brain like the fake snow inside a snow globe just shaken by a bored child with too much pent up energy. Actually, the topics are multi-fold but let’s start with one that has been simmering in the crockpot of my mind since last week. For those who have read my blog and listened to my personal podcast (http://scottlatta.podbean.com) , you have probably heard me rant once or twice or 45,000 times about what annoys me in traffic. It doesn’t matter what the conditions are, someone or multiple someones will wreck the driving experience for all those in that geographical area for that time block. Continue reading

Talladega Nights – Step Brothers Shenanigans

Sometimes me and my friend Mike will slip into a vortex of movie quotes. The easiest for us are probably the Will Ferrell movies Talladega Nights and Step Brothers. So sit back and scroll to the bottom! Enjoy!  Continue reading

Heat Wave in November

Hello and welcome to my first entry in November 2017! Hope you are enjoying the second to last month in 2017. If you happened to be one of the 100+ people who found my piece on All Saints Day & All Souls Day (from 2015), please let me know how you found it. I Googled it and didn’t see my blog page on the first 50 entries so I was curious if another search engine had it listed differently or you were just using the super secret search terms! Continue reading

I wanna be famous…

…said the seven year old boy.

 Good morning and welcome to mid-month October. Over the weekend I got to spend an extended period of time with my fiancé’s seven year old son Ayden. We normally spend evenings together during the week but from Friday night through Saturday and Sunday afternoon, it was just us dudes. He went to softball with me on Friday and supervised while I mowed the lawn and power-washed the deck on Saturday. We ate together and went to Walmart together and played some Uno and the board game Clue together. Back-tracking to the morning hours of Saturday, we went out to Hillsboro to visit my friend Matt who had been storing some of my belongings in his basement. While we were there visiting, we (me and Matt) were using the Tetris method to load my belongings into my spatially challenged car. But in the end, everything fit!

Continue reading

Crazy Dreams

Good day readers, bipeds and people who ride those oversized tricycles!

Today is literally, Wednesday, October 4th. It is not the morning time but somewhere in the early afternoon of the Central Time Zone from a US (United States) perspective. For those that listened to my Freak Show podcast on the Podbean app from this morning – thank you. And if you haven’t yet, please check it out!

If you did listen to me earlier, you may have caught me yawning once or twice. There was no Facebook live but just the audio from the in-car session. At that time I was recording, I had not yet switched over my car insurance but as of now I have. Hey, saving 28 bucks a month is saving 28 bucks! If you are anticipating a Segway from that to what I dreamed about, relax, I did not dream about saving a bunch of money on my car insurance. To be frank, it wasn’t simply one dream but like 6 or 7 fragmented dream sketches. I did not say Sketchers, we are not selling any shoes here.

OK I’m back. Sorry about that lag in between paragraphs. I was texting with Jeremy, whom I do the Sports Stalkers podcast with; he wants to go to the WWE Live event coming to St Louis.

Back to the dream couch for analysis: In one of the disjointed sleep episodes I was trapped on a football field with a bunch of strangers. The grass on the field was pretty dead and around the perimeter of the football field was a pretty substantial canyon or gulf. People were trying to jump to the canyon floor but many were breaking their legs or getting caught in quicksand. I tried to drive someone’s SUV down an embankment that didn’t look as severe. About halfway down, a bunch of people jumped on the vehicle and it started to go sideways and eventually tipped over. I exited the vehicle, after it stopped rolling over, through the area that was the windshield (the windshield had just fallen out). Going through the windshield was necessary because the doors would not open and the battery died so I could not roll down the windows. At this point I was pretty stressed out and it was getting dark. I couldn’t see past the top of the embankment and all the people were now gone. On the far embankment to leave the canyon, there was a knotted thick rope leading to the top. I ran to the rope and tried to pull myself up but I guess the top was not secured to anything because the rope was pulling over the edge about as fast as I could climb it. <<Break>>

At this point I started awake for whatever reason. This was about 2:30am or so. There were 3-4 other mini-dreams before this but I don’t remember the details. Eventually I fell back asleep and…

I was standing in a parking lot of some closed mall or something. There were tons of cars everywhere but the building(s) were all dark and no one was around. The only light was moonlight and it glared off many of the vehicles. For the most part the cars and trucks all appears to be new or at least recently washed. The pockets of my jeans were empty. No phone, no wallet, no keys, no money – nothing! I was wearing a blank white t-shirt which is highly unusual and someone else’s shoes with light up soles when I walked. There was a cold breeze and I was panicked because I was late for something. There was a horrible, tight feeling in my chest, like when I was a kid and got lost in a corn field. Whenever the wind would die down I kept hearing a noise. It might have been someone calling my name from very far away or an animal or something. I tried to go towards the sound but the wind would pick up or a loud sound would come from the building(s) and echo for a bit. After a while I tracked the sound to one of the buildings. The windows were tinted and it was dark so I couldn’t really see anything inside except random light blurs. I knocked on a window and the wind stopped. The sound stopped. Nothing moved and a cloud covered the moon so it was totally dark as well. Something smacked against the window hard and I retreated until I fell over a muffler that was now on the ground by me. The cloud left the moon and I could see the old, rusted muffler that I tripped over. Right next to the window I knocked on was a door and that door was wide open. In that moment, I was pretty terrified with what this might mean and I took off. I ran along the parking lot while trying to look between the cars to see if anyone or anything was there. During one of these moments I was looking between the cards, I ran into a parked ambulance. Getting up off the ground, my arm was now bleeding.  I could not hear anything and my instincts told me to climb on top of the ambulance. With only one good, arm, I awkwardly scaled the hood and made my way to the top. Something or someone rammed into the back of the ambulance and I almost fell off the side. But when I looked down the back, there was nothing there. All of a sudden, the two driver’s side tires blew out and I started to fall / slide over the edge…<<Break>>

Once again, I flopped awake and it was like 4:08 or 4:09am. My eyes were a bit itchy and blurry so I am not 100% sure. After that I laid there for a while and listened to the normal house noises, I fell back asleep. If I dreamed anything further, I do not remember.

So for all the amateur dream interpreters out there, what do you think these two dream snippets mean?

Happy Hump Day to all and to all an enjoyable remaining 27 days of October.

Peace.

Odd Bucket List Stuff

Good morning and a most pleasant Friday to you!

 Today we are talking about bucket list stuff or at least one item on my bucket list. Some people want to swim with the dolphins (or sharks), some want to run a marathon, some want to meet movie stars, some want to jump out of an airplane, some want to get their 15 minutes of fame, and so on and so forth. For me, there are many things on this virtual list. One of them is that I want to travel to Tehachapi, California and see all those wind turbines!

 I’m sensing I may have caused quite a few people to blink several times at reading that last sentence. Do not adjust your eyes or over-think what I said. Yes it may not sound all that much of a thrill-seeking or death defying event but seeing about 5,000 wind turbines would be pretty neat. And as a bonus, visiting the Tehachapi Pass Wind Farm in Tahachapi, California would accomplish a second thing on my bucket list: visiting California. Just so you know, every single time I read, write or say the word California, I hear in my head former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger say: Collie-Four-Knee-Uh.

 OK so where did this weird desire to travel west and see these wind turbines spring from? Oddly enough, I think from the 80’s movie Karate Kid. A tale about a Jersey kid being moved to the left coast as his mother pursues a new career and a new life. Ralph Macchio, as Daniel Larusso, embodies an awkward, dorky loser who leverages the karate teachings of his friend and mentor Mr. Miyagi (may he rest in peace) to overcome the bullies and win the fair maiden! During the opening minutes of the movie, while he and his mother are driving to their new home, I swear there is a scene where the backdrop is the Tehachapi Pass wind turbines…or it could’ve come from Beverly Hills Cop. I’m not 100% sure as it was more than 30 years ago. Gawd, that hurt to type that. How is Karate Kid (the original) more than 30 years old? These are the end times my friends!

 Regardless of the genesis of the wind turbines fascination, I would like to check them out and stay nearby for like a whole week. A Collie-Four-Knee-Uh vacation would be delightful and if those darn Powerball numbers would stop being so elusive, I could make this happen!

 Before I forget, happy first day of Autumn! The 2017 version of summer has exited stage left. But left behind as a curtain call (not the Eminem album) is summer-like heat here in the Midwest. It is supposed to be in the mid-90’s today temperature-wise. Too bad all the pools closed weeks ago. Bummer dude.

 To everyone who has diligently and faithfully been my reader, thank you. Hopefully there is now and always will be some content for you to enjoy. Have a great weekend and Go Tribe!!

 Peace.

<<09-22-2017>>

The Total Solar Eclipse vs Y2K Madness

OMG.
Like the sun is like totally going to be like obscured and such for like two and a half minutes. Oh My Gawd!

So for my peoples in the path of destruction, where will you be on Monday, August 21st at 1:15pm-ish? Will you be hunkered in a bunker? Rooftop to stare at the sun spot?

Me, I will be at work while Kristi’s child will be at home because school has been cancelled to allow for the two plus minute window of darkness in the afternoon (face palm). Here’s a thought: It’s the middle of the friggin afternoon. If it gets too dark while driving you can turn on your headlights! Here’s a second thought: What are you going to do if it is cloudy that afternoon? Maybe try to get a refund for your #$@#@* eclipse glasses?

Why am I so anti-eclipse? Simply because it’s not that big of a deal. I say this as a person who got a C+ in all my science classes because I frankly do not find science all that interesting. Don’t get me wrong, science is great and the basis behind all or most of society’s conveniences. But for me it’s like magic. I know their is some sort of logic on why things occur and how ‘tricks’ unfold but I’ll let them remain a mystery and be accepting of the awe and wonder without getting all geeked up.

Some people may be of an age to remember and appreciate the hysteria from the Y2K malarkey. For those who were of an age to comprehend things back in the year of 1999, there was an unease and shallow panic in the throngs of the populace. The year 2000 was coming. The possible end of the world was coming. Computers as we knew them then were going to turn into smoking balls of fire once December 31st at 11:59pm clunked beyond the next minute. The collective electronic globe held it’s breath and hugged loved ones close as they prepared for the unimaginable. On that last day in December, the seconds raced toward the ‘end’.

11:59:59…turned into 12:00:00 and there were innumerable explosions! Ok Ok it was just locals shooting off fireworks and discharging firearms like any other new year’s celebration. But the hype, fear and pandemonium leading up to that point were unfounded. Yes I’m sure there were some programs that saved the files at the bottom of the list instead of the top where the newest stuff should get saved but for the most part nothing of note happened.

My point here is that for the most part I don’t anticipate anything of significance occurring on Monday either. The oceans will not rise and turn the all continents into a modern Atlantis. Gravity will not be suspended; thus sending everything not rooted to the Earth’s crust hurtling into the farthest reaches of oxygen-less space.

Monday morning will arrive. Monday afternoon will happen. It will become some shade of darkness. (Note: As a general rule you should not stare at the sun but if you have these ‘special’ glasses then go for it.) The eclipse will commence and then wane and everything will more or less be the same as before. A billion pictures will be uploaded onto social media. A trillion social media statuses will be something related to the solar event. This will go on for days until something else moderately interesting comes along and then it will cease to be noteworthy topic until those end of the year recap shows for TV and radio.

If you are hosting an eclipse party and I’ve offended you, I quasi-apologize. By which I mean to say: sorry-not sorry. I implore you to have your fun but for me, I put the eclipse on par with my appreciation for the sport of soccer. If it’s your cup of tea, more power to you but I’m viciously bored with both.

Have a great weekend and make sure to protect yourself on Monday from the marauding hordes of Big Bang Gangs crisscrossing the country!

Peace.

Cadaver Dogs

Did you know there is a website called http://www.cadaverdog.com? I had not a clue until about 12 seconds ago. I was thinking to myself:

“Self?”
“Yes?”
“What are the biggest sellers for the Cadbury company during the months after Easter?”

I start typing Cadbury in the search engine and auto-fill suggests cadaver…from there my mind starts sing-songing: Cadaver Dogs, down in the swamp! (To the tune of Bob Evans…down on the farm!) Why did my mind go there? I honestly have no clue. Sometimes the track switches without warning and the train rolls on.

In scanning through some material on cadaver dogs, I was surprised to learn a few things. For me, I kind of get the doggie stereo-type of German Shepherds as the police dogs with all the detection tools. But come to find out, there are several breeds that are utilized especially when trying to locate human remains. Goldens, blood hounds, collies, beagles, pit bulls and more! So don’t be like me. Let your mind be open and receptive to the opportunities available to many dog breeds regardless of size, color or gender.

Today’s random Google search has taught me a valuable lesson in embracing the possibilities (for doggie workers). And here’s to hoping I am never in need of the cadaver dogs’ services to locate my remains somewhere down the road.

To everyone who breathes in the air on this Earth while reading my posts, keep fighting the good ‘eat healthy’ battle. If nothing else, at least try to speak the names of healthy vegetables in the hopes that invoking their names to the universe will lead to good health.

Peace.

http://www.cadaverdog.com/

CADAVER DOG BREEDS

<<07-27-2017>>

Pet Peeve

Greetings Humpers! (It’s Hump Day)

I know I have mentioned this before but I’m going to mention it again. One of my pet peeves is people who back into a parking space. Make no mistake, I’m not talking about people who are parallel parking or people who ‘pull through’ back to back spaces to have their front end ready to pull out when they leave. I am specifically calling out those pretentious people who take like six minutes to pull past a spot, then back up with excruciating slowness into a spot. Most of the time it takes them a couple of tries to get aligned right or judge the correct depth of the space in relation to the length of their vehicle. I don’t care who you are, you are a wank. Because most of the time it takes too long and then the person is either crooked or didn’t back up far enough and the front end of their vehicle is askew or jutting out into the area for traffic to drive by. Just pull into the damn spot ‘nose’ first and back out like the rest of us!

Rant over…
(Mic drop)

OK for no other reason than I mentioned him on the Sports Stalkers podcast the other night, here is Ronnie Milsap’s website. (www.ronniemilsap.com) For the record (ha, see what I did there?) he is still alive and you can get all 21 of his albums for a special price right now…

Peace.

<<07-26-2017>>

I’m not afraid to…

…piss people off.

Hi, good morning. Hope you are enjoining some coffee or your preferred beverage of choice.

OK so let me explain my thought process on this. No, not the beverage thing…my stance on pissing people off. Don’t get me wrong, I am not just indiscriminately looking for people to piss off with mindless personal attacks. I’m just saying I am not scared to speak my mind and when I see something I perceive as wrong or a debatable topic, I don’t hold back. I may temper my opinions in a diplomatic turn of phrase but you can usually tell where my point/opinion is going.

Some of you in your minds are saying: here we go pointless drama. Nope. No ma’am, no sir. I am not here to spread gossip to pile on someone having a bad day just to be a bully. Everyone running around or wheeling around today has positive and negative aspects of their lives. Some are great parents, some lavish love and attention on their animals while others run businesses that provide incomes and purposes for others to provide for their families and loved ones. While I can try to find the silver lining in many different human clouds, there is always the ying to their yang.

I’m guessing at this point you are trying to discern a point that may take shape coming from the above fog. I am flawed and at times I am an internal mess. But aint we all? The important thing is not to take yourself too seriously and be true with your actions and words. If you see something that emotionally or mentally goes against your grain, you can do a couple of things. First you can ignore it and remove yourself from the situation and go binge watch GOT episodes. If you feel you must have your voice be heard (either literally or figuratively), think first.

Sometimes another human or an issue can cause such a visceral response that we lash out without thinking. Like when I’m on the highway and I see aggressive drivers switching lanes without blinkers or cutting people off when they could have just as easily have slowed down and settled in behind another car. My list of hated traffic grievances is about on par with the proverbial list of naughty boys and girls Santa has to deal with.

Animal abuse, child punishments, softball drama, social media, my Cleveland Indians and long car trips are just a handful of things I have a strong opinion on and my views may not be all unicorns, cotton candy and smiley emoji’s to the casual reader. Is my position the end all be all of opinions? Certainly not but I will do my best to state my case as to why I think that way about a topic. Have I launched into a tirade before about my opinion only to have someone chime in later with some bit of information I wasn’t privy to? Guilty. Did it radically change my stance? Not really but I filed that addition information away to be digested and further flavor my viewpoint.

Most everyone is so wrapped up in being ‘right’ that they lose sight of the spirit of exchanging ideas. Most people when they express their opinions, whether in the majority or minority, are on the razor’s edge for rebuttals. Expressing a dissenting opinion is on par with attacking that person’s most cherished loved one. One of my most favorite quotes I saw on Twitter said: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” This quote is attributed to Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. That quote is an ugly truth. I myself am guilty of this about half of the time. It happens when I argue with Kristi or Ayden or a co-worker or a softball friend or on my Sports Stalkers podcast partner Jeremy. We as a society are conditioned to be put on the spot and come up with a quip or an answer to prove our wittiness or competency. So much in our daily lives is submerged in self-doubt and competition, so we must be seen as competent at the bare minimum. And in the panic of the moment when we might possibly lose, we resort to snarkyness and name-calling in lieu of stopping and thinking about the basis of our opinions and how it may be colored by our life experiences as opposed to someone from a completely different background.

Take racism and discrimination for example. And no they are not exclusively the same thing. Discrimination is denying someone or a group based on extraneous circumstances that have no bearing on the criteria needed. Some of the biggest racists I know are the ones who play the race card. In my life I have known some people of color who have been the perpetrators of discrimination. There are no absolutes in this world when it comes to discrimination and racism. There are black people who are racist against white people and vice versa. Just as there are people of all ages who are discriminatory against other age groups.

See no name calling, no gross stereo-types and a note that I myself am not 100% above reproach here (see the listening quote). There is nothing wrong with absorbing and dissecting someone else’s opinion or view. The sticky-wicket is when we start questioning that person’s view and instead of listening to understand what we are asking, they are loading up mentally to respond based on a basal reaction to a perceived challenge.

Enough psychology for one day. I was just trying to simply offer up my ‘excuse’ on why I feel OK about sounding off with my thoughts and opinions even if you do not care. We all have a back story on our opinions. Did your parents instill that view in you? Perhaps your church? Or just life experiences? That is for each of us to carry around with us every day and decide if we are comfortable enough to share and if need be, defend as needed.

As usual, thank you for surfing in and reading some bits and pieces that migrated from my brain to my fingers. I hope you found something amusing, thought provoking or at least something that caused you to stop for a moment to at least consider.

Haffy Hump Day! That is a cross breed of Happy and Taffy just so you don’t think I am a horrible speller!

Peace.