Just the way I am

Good morrow to all and let the slaughter of the turkey masses yield here!

Today is the blessed food holiday of Thanksgiving. That yearly tradition where families, blood and pseudo, gather and consume a bountiful feast to celebrate the good tidings in their lives. This year after the annual Turkey Bowl game (football) at Fenton Park, I will trek to my mother’s home to share in one such feast with my mom and Bill. I am thankful for having my mom in my life and her having Bill to make hers all the better. I am thankful for my most devoted blog reader Becca. On the personal front, I am thankful for Kristi and Ayden in my life to keep me humble and focused on what is truly important on a daily basis. I am thankful and grateful for Mike and Jessica, who opened their home to me and Sadie to live. I am thankful my friend Matt did not chainsaw his leg off in a recent woodcutting accident so that he and his family may enjoy the holidays in peace (one piece). I am grateful for the number of softball friends I have amassed over the years.

The holidays can be tricky. Many people tend to be harboring issues beneath the surface but put on a deceptively pleasant and happy front. To them I say, be strong and do what you have to do. Also if you need to unburden or just get a friendly perspective, I am here for you. I know all too well that things are not always roses and champagne showers. Sometimes it is necessary to close off and regroup. Much like the main character in Stephen King’s series: The Dark Tower (Roland Deschain), I do not tolerate bullshit all that well. Granted the character King created is more talented and compelling than I am, nonetheless, bullshit is tough to endure. But the world has indeed moved on…

Like Roland, I knew from an early age that I was not the most gifted among my peers. Some of this was through general observation and some was from my father’s lips. But that doesn’t matter. Through experience and discovery we learn who we are and can decide daily what is wise to pursue and what will lead to disappointment. Aside from my creative spurts that generally are in the word genre, there is something else I tend to embrace: grudges.

Really Scott? You’re going to speak of grudges on this congenial and good-will-towards-man season? The answer simply is yes.

As I sit here in the throes of some sort of nasal maladity a mere four hours before the ‘kick-off’ of the annual Turkey Bowl game, I am reminded of my social responsibilities. In times of charity and a better cause, you some times have to endure those you would otherwise avoid or verbally take to task. What am I speaking of? Well, to be blunt, having to coexist in the same time and space as someone whom I would rather not because of their offensive deeds and lies. Like I mentioned above, I do hold grudges, sometimes into infinity. Some people will say it makes me a lesser man for holding them but guess what, say what you will, I don’t care. My father tops the list of people I am begrudged to and I do not see him getting a pardon any time soon. There are others whom I presently would rather just not see or deal with for their bullshit.

This is not to say once you are on my shit list you are there forever. Back in 1995 my childhood friend Matt and I parted ways for awhile after his wedding. The nature of the grievance is not important. But after a time, he reached out to me and we re-established the lines of communication. The fences and wound were mended…which I hope happens to his leg once the stitches come out and the gash stops oozing.

But for those still languishing on the naughty list, GFY. I mean that. I’m not good at putting on a fake smile and acting like nothing is wrong. If I don’t like you, you know it. Most of the time I will try to avoid those people for the sake of common friends, but when they are within my softball circles and softball family…it gets difficult. So wish me luck, for in a handful of hours, I will have to endure the presence of a longtime friend, who now is just a pathetic excuse for a man that makes me sick to even think about. Liars, cheats and backstabbers – I have no need for you in my life. Life is about the pursuit of happiness and your shady, scumbag ways are a source of my un-happiness. I sincerely hope that the universe sides with me on this topic (since it is not returning my calls on the Powerball topic) and inflicts upon those who act like selfish douchebags with recurring monthly bloody burning diarrhea so bad that they get Charley-horse cramps in both legs and cannot walk for a week.

I do not apologize for my feelings on the subject. It is by our convictions that we make it through this life. It is not my place to have to tell someone how to treat a ‘friend’. If common sense or upbringing has not taught you better, then you are not only an embarrassment to yourself but also your parents (…and have forgotten the face of your father #TheDarkTower).

I will hop down off ye ole soapbox and wish each and every one of you a safe and enjoyable holiday.

Peace.

Death of a Wii

Howdy friends and cyber neighbors.

I come to you today to announce that my Wii gaming console has bitten the dust. It was a good little system for a little while. The Wii actually came into my possession through my friend Missie. A couple of years ago I assisted Missie in moving out to Desoto, Missouri to live with her then boyfriend Nick.

The move day consisted of us plus 5 or 6 others helping out. At the end of the activities, Missie said I could have the system as she had two or three others on hand and didn’t need it. I gladly accepted her gesture and took it home. As it was, I didn’t really use the system too much to play games but mostly used it as a streaming TV service device (Netflix, Hulu, etc.) because most of the Wii games didn’t play too well with my shaky hands (see my piece on essential tremor).

Alas, it appears me and the white Wii have reached a fork in the road unless I want to recycle it into a cumbersome paperweight (Magic 8 Ball says: Very Doubtful).

Perhaps I shall share my feelings on the topic in my podcast tomorrow…then again maybe not.

Fare thee well my readers of the written word.

Peace.

New Job – week of Nov 14th

Good day.

Sorry to be slacking this week. It has been a bit of a whirlwind in addition to not feeling very well so the posts have been few and far between this Thanksgiving month.

As some of you may have found out from the “inter-web”, I started a new job this past Monday. It was the first time I started a new job since 2010. All the stresses of the old job were replaced with new stresses from a new job. Discarded were the frustrations about broken processes, un-supportive upper management, increased fears of additional outsourcing and countless other concerns faced by many Americans in today’s corporate cut-throat society. Replacing that cavalcade of worries and woes are new items. Front and center is that ‘new kid in school’ feeling where you don’t really know anyone and you’re not really sure where anything is. Plus after being at a job for six plus years, you have a reputation (perhaps even a good one). Walking into a new situation you are in the spotlight to prove yourself (from ground zero basically) and make a good first impression. Succeeding is important or at least it is to me. Taking pride in doing a good job and being seen as (much) better than competent is what I strive for every day. So these first three days have been draining. Throw in a lack of sleep and it’s playing havoc with my body and functionality.

On a positive note, the lady who is training me has been quite patient and receptive to my inquiries. Another upgrade comes in the form of the bathrooms. While the previous employer’s building may have been a touch fancier or polished, the bathrooms at the new job are clean, well-lit and do not smell like thirteen elephants deposited their feces there after ingesting food from Taco Bell. The soda machine also sells a bottle of soda for $1.25 which is $.25 cheaper than my former employer. Some of you may say these are minor things, I on the other hand am grateful for these small victories after the last three years.

Hopefully all is well with you and your family. Have a good time with the upcoming turkey slaughter holiday and be safe out there.

Peace.

Election 2016…The Aftermath

 

Good day, good day, good day!

Today is November 9th 2016…the day after the presidential election. Oh the humanity going on across all forms of social media! For the fun of it, I once again composed a spreadsheet showing the breakdown of the state by state results and the impact of the electoral college (website reference: http://www.politico.com/2016-election/results/map/president). Using the figures published on-line this morning prior to 10:00am Central Standard Time, I populated the spreadsheet to see how things shook out. If these numbers fluctuated a bit after that, I apologize.

So there were 538 electoral votes in play over the scope of fifty states. The magic number to clinch a victory was 270 votes. Sometime after midnight last night, Donald Trump was deemed the first to 270 electoral votes and the president elect until he takes office on January 20, 2017. Those of you who voted for Hillary this morning are frustrated and grumpy I imagine. Let’s delve into the numbers a bit more and see if that doesn’t possibly make those emotions a bit worse.

The electoral college’s origins reach back to the late 1700’s. Each state gets so many electoral college votes based on the number of members each state has in congress. The minimum for each state is three and the maximum is 55 (California). Here is where I will insert my two cents worth. I think and electoral college is dumb, antiquated and ridiculous.

Think about how much things have changed over the last two hundred years? Cars. Computers. Space travel. Deadly diseases being cured. Netflix. The Indians and Cubs in the World Series. Instant replay in sports. And the list goes on and on. So why are we relying on an outdated process like the electoral college to decide our commander in chief? Did you know that in the state of Florida 9.3 million people voted. Those casting a vote for Clinton: 4.4 million. But on top with almost 4.6 million votes: Trump (plus nearly 300,000 for the other candidates). How did the electoral college reward the 4.4 million voters for Clinton (47.7% of the state’s populous)? By giving all 29 votes to Donald Trump – even though technically 50.9% of the state did not vote for him. Fascinating huh? No wonder Dexter Morgan was so tightly wound.

I’m not here to trumpet the victor or taunt the loser in the presidential race. The purpose of this piece is to illuminate the flaws in the system. The published figures gave Trump 276 votes and 218 votes for Clinton. That left 44 votes in flux. Those votes (in flux) under the current system wouldn’t have been enough to overtake Donald Trump (if they all fell to Clinton). Using my spreadsheet logic and the current system of awarding the electoral college votes to the majority leader of the popular vote-getters, Trump would’ve finished with 306 and Clinton would’ve finished at 232 (based on published data).

Now for a little more salt in the Democratic wounds; according to the tabulated numbers (as of 10:00am this morning), Clinton garnered 59,333,439 single voter votes. The winner of the election received 59,166,778 votes. That means Clinton actually received 166,661 more votes. Hmmm. Granted some states are very large and have more voters but that alone is worthy of a “Wait, a second” outburst. If the powers that be insist upon keeping the electoral college, why not modify the output like everything else that has been revised and updated? So instead of a winner take all approach to each state, break the results out by percentage. If you follow this formula, Clinton would’ve increased her electoral college vote total to 257 and Trump would have his total reduced to 254. Thus neither candidate would’ve reached the 270 mark needed to secure the victory. The plot thickens!

Some of you are now stating, wait, 538 minus 257 and 254 leaves 27 votes unaccounted for in the total! Correct! Mathematicians everywhere just cleared their throats to step forward. They would point out that the two main candidates did account for the majority of the ‘popular’ vote but not all of it. Almost 5% of Americans voted for a third, fourth, fifth or even sixth candidate. At this point, I want to give a big shout out to the state of Nevada. More than one million voters turned out in that state to vote in this presidential election. Of those people, 28,824 chose to vote for “None of the above candidates”. Bravo Nevada. For all the bickering back and forth by voters about the main two candidate’s flaws, these people answered that question by saying “No Thank You” to all the available options. That’s how distasteful they found the voting palette this year. While I’m throwing out recognition, I would like to also acknowledge my girlfriend’s friend Alicia. She made it known she was not a fan of Trump or Hillary and that there was a lesser known option in Gary Johnson that would be a good choice. I guess her view was shared by a few other people. When I say a few other people, I mean more than four million other people. Not bad Mr Johnson. Perhaps, someone will open a side door and let you into the government to help lead this country for the next four years.

So back on point. Trump got 47.5% of the voters casting a vote for president to vote for him and won. Clinton got 47.7% of the voters casting a vote for president to vote for her and lost. Yeah this system works. (Sarcasm train full speed ahead!) If we as Americans claim that all of us are equal, why are we lumped into whole state entities? Shouldn’t a voter in South Dakota have their vote counted the same as a voter in Vermont have their vote counted? Blend out the state lines. Stop dividing us by silly historical standards. If you would, there’s a different outlook this morning.

election2016_breakdown

See the attached spreadsheet link (above). Just like those crazies who read the bible and pull out cryptic passages that they think tells them that MySpace is the standard for all social media outlets – go nuts and make your own conclusions.

Now for my take on the two front-runner candidates. Notice I didn’t say the two best candidates? Because in all honesty there is no way Clinton and Trump are the two most qualified people to run the USA. Truth be told, they probably aren’t even on the list of the top 100,000 most qualified. Both are shady and have their warts. I’ve said in other pieces I have written, the race for president is never about the best candidate for the job. It’s a popularity contest. If the guidelines for running the country were really a priority, we would probably see three or four professors from obscure universities that resembled Albus Dumbledore or Sybill Trelawney of Harry Potter fame. The whole presidential process is distasteful and a wretched waste of resources. There are states struggling to keep schools open and provide public support services like police officers and emergency response teams…but every four years the country sees hundreds of millions of dollars wasted on TV commercials to tell us how bad the people running for office are and the plagues they will bring upon us if elected. Some civilized superior race we are indeed. You would never see this is cats and kittens!

One last ranting bit and I will let you enjoy your hump day. Why is it that (public) schools need to wring their figurative hands that a bond measure will pass to provide funds for school programs and improvements based on the public voting response but politicians are allowed to vote on giving themselves pay raises? That is messed up. Do military personnel in forward territories with firearms at the ready and their lives on the line get to vote on increasing their own pay? I don’t think so. I propose that ALL elected officials receive no salary in the first year of their taking office and all future raises be subject to a vote of the people in their state. Maybe it might make those public servants in office be a bit more focused on doing things to benefit their communities instead of just themselves. Most of these politicians spend more on their campaigns then the office pays per year. Doesn’t that strike you as odd? Just saying.

Thank you for reading down to this line. Lots to digest up to this point. Hopefully I gave you a nugget of something to think about. In the next 72 days until the president elect is sworn in, a lot can happen. In terms of government, probably not much will because they have no carrot to do so. Going forward, I promise no more political pieces at least until next year.

Exhale. Have a great week.

Peace.

P.S. Below is a post from me on Facebook from 2012, just so you don’t think this topic of the electoral college is a new idea from me. Cheers!

Would you rather…

Here goes. Eeesh.

OK, would you rather pry off your thumbnail with a fork or put a toothpick under your big toenail and kick a wall? (Rebecca)

Grisly options for both here. Just for long term issues and healing – I will pick the thumbnail. I could foresee the toe thing affecting me long term and possibly getting infected or forever keeping me from walking or running normally. Even if the toothpick was turned sideways (loophole?) I think kicking the wall could jam/break a toe – assuming that this option was without shoes or socks.

Would you rather slide down a (playground) slide full of tacks or be locked inside a room with snakes for a minute every time you say the word “like?” (Mikala)

I’m going to assume that the slide scenario involves either wearing shorts or some sort of stipulation that a lot of skin is showing – otherwise I would put on 6 pairs of sweat pants and be done with this in a blink. With this being said, I am taking that painful slide into tacks regardless of what kind of snakes are in the other room. Even friendly, non-aggressive snakes make me involuntarily cringe and stuff like that (I said ‘like’ – good thing I took the slide!)

Would you rather be skinny and white as a ghost or fat and tan. (Melody)

Easy, skinny and white for me – I’m halfway there! If I wanted to be tan I could always do the spray on Cheeto tan and look like a Jersey Shore reject (seems a little redundant with that characterization but oh well).

Would you rather have to endure 24 continuous hours of non-stop Luke Bryan songs at a concert decibel level or have someone throw ice cold water on you (once per day) while you sleep for 24 days straight? (Anonymous)

Tough one. Really tough one. I think I could take some Zzzquil and endure the Luke Bryan marathon even though it may cause nightmares.

Would you rather have a sunburn on your no-show area or have to eat five pounds of black jelly beans?  (Alec)

Wow. Both of these are quite sadistic. I absolutely cannot stomach black jelly beans much less consuming five pounds worth so I guess I’m getting burnt…and buying a kiddy pool, filling it with aloe vera and then soaking in it for a long while.

Would you rather be famous for peeing your pants at the Superbowl Halftime Show or be famous for getting pee’d on by the cast of Jackass during the Inauguration? (Yolanda)

Hmmm. Both sound pretty unsanitary. If forced to chose, I’m definitively peeing on myself. Look on the bright side, I would be at the Superbowl! I could be the next big sensation like the second shark in Katy Perry’s halftime show!

Would you rather be blindfolded and punched in either the face or the (man area)?  (Brad)

OK I guess it depends on who is doing the punching and what area of the face the punch is being delivered to. If someone the size of The Rock is doing the punching, I’m probably taking the shot to the groin just because of the concern with having multiple facial fractures to deal with and the groin shot would be easier to conceal. If someone the size of Whitney Cummings is doing the punching, I’m probably going to quasi-‘man-up’ and let her punch me in the face.

Would you rather be shot (in the leg), stabbed (in the side) or held underwater for three minutes? (Anonymous)

Yikes, a multiple choice gauntlet. I can hold my breath for about 20 seconds in the shower and then I’m gasping for air so I’m pretty sure that one is out. Not sure what type of instrument is doing the stabbing, how deep that is going to go, the possibility of internal bleeding and the injuries that could be sustained…so I guess I’m opting to be shot in the leg and praying it isn’t by a sawed-off shotgun. Small caliber bullet please!

Would you rather be wealthy (rich) for one week and the world ends or poor for the rest of your life and you live for another fifty (50) years? (Anonymous)

Well with my luck, I would get the money and not be aware that the world was going to end so I wouldn’t have had a chance to use the money for any real effect…so I guess I’ll be poor and live another 50 years (which I believe is my current plight!)

Peace.

Monday, November 7th – Bathroom Law and Outlaws

Good morning. I have a question that I need a bit of advisement for…
What is my moral obligation in a work setting in the employee’s restroom when occupying the stall and…how to delicately put this? When someone decides to go shoes pointed away from the wall where the urinal is and does the number after number 1? Maintenance alert! There seems to be a brown pickle in the stand up pee pee station!

As a ‘witness’ to the brown loafers (didn’t realize there was a pun working there already) that arched off the ground to facilitate the delivery of said brown pickle into the porcelain urinal trough, what – if anything – am I obligated to do here? Report the perpetrator to the front desk and let them ferret out the offender and inflict their brand of poop justice? In the six years I have worked in this building, this is a first. Don’t get me wrong, there have been a plethora of disgusting anecdotes in regards to the bathroom scenes, soundtracks and aromatic smells of intestinal death that have happened all too frequently. This however was a different ball of wax (that’s not wax!)

Unfortunately I have limited auxiliary information except that the Un-Sub was a Caucasian male wearing nondescript short black socks and was also wearing light tan khakis (hopefully Jake from State Farm has an alibi!). Whomever ‘he’ was  – I have to assume it was a male because this would be a double ballsy endeavor for a woman to pull off – was pretty quick with the process. If I were to report the incident, they can possibly cross-reference to see if this person has any priors in this genre. Regardless, Super-Yucktastically-Nasty!

After watching the last handful of episodes of The Walking Dead (of Season 6 on Netflix) and how that situation played out…I think I will keep quiet for now. You just never know how big this could be. Maybe this is just the tip of the iceberg of urinal poopers for a purpose. I do not want to cause any collateral damage so I will just keep my mouth shut and hope these last three plus days here at work go quickly.

Why only three plus days? Glad you asked. Through networking, I found a new job and I start there on Monday the 14th of November. I have not checked out the bathroom situation at the new place but I am hopeful for a fresh start. Get it…a fresh start? The bathrooms at my present work are never fresh! Bwahahahaha! OK it wasn’t that funny.

Hope you are having a day without the presence of another human’s (solid) bodily waste manifesting near you. Have a great Monday and good luck with whatever choices you inflict upon our country tomorrow at the polls.

Peace.

Game Seven … of THE WORLD SERIES

Deep breaths. The end is upon us! The very final game of the MLB baseball season. The final round of this fight is upon us and may the best Indians team win!

I have included a Tweet I wrote on July 13, 2016 allegedly at 10:15am.

At the time of this tweet I was half-serious, half-joking. The half-joking part of me was because Kluber was kind of in the right place, at the right time kind of deal to be credited with the All-Star game win. The half-serious part of me believes until the end of each baseball season that my Indians will finally win a championship no matter the odds or the ridicule I annually receive for my blind devotion. If the planets should align and the cosmic forces relent for one day and this comes to pass, I will do a little happy dance and plan my permanent body art. The game itself is hours away as I write this but once again, I have faith in my team and hope in my spirit to persevere the coming hours and mounting stress that each inning will undoubtedly unpack.

Regardless of the outcome, I think it is most fitting that the ‘GUY’ who got them to this point is the guy to try to finish off an incredible season for not only him and the team but the whole coaching staff and front office. Here’s to hoping for one more win for Cleveland tonight. The team, the city and the fans have been patient and provided an experience that wont soon be forgotten. Go Cleveland. Good Luck. I’ll be watching and sending all the positive juju I can muster.

Play ball!

Peace.

Your own road…

Welcome to my blog. If you are new here, scroll a bit and check out some of the topics I’ve chosen to write about with my perspective. You will notice my Cleveland Indians quite a bit here recently due to their extended run up through the World Series but scroll further and see some of my other pieces that you may want to read. Or if you don’t want to scroll through a bunch of posts, you can check out the link to the semi-comprehensive list of topics for quicker reference. To my repeat readers I thank you for coming back and hopefully I make it worth your while today.

So as I was sitting in traffic this morning on the evil thoroughfare known as highway 270 north bound (270 south bound is just as evil for the record), my mind started to wander. I know this sounds like the start of one of my notorious traffic rants but bear with me for a moment. I was in the right lane of the exit ramp coming off highway 55 (there were two lanes on the overpass if you are creating the picture in your mind) and my speedometer was dropping from 35 MPH to 25 to 10 to a dead stop. Visible indicators in the area of possible impedance: a police officer’s flashing lights…on the opposite side of 270. South bound. Not in the flow of north bound traffic at all but still a distraction for the north bound drivers to rubberneck at and snarl traffic. Oy vey.

Normally this is where I would creatively go all nuclear on the situation. But instead, today it got me to thinking about the life metaphor going on here. This drive into work is one I’ve made countless times. The plot points are fairly common and similar. Going along the same path, then things slow down and become frustrating. The protracted moments pass and you hope for an opportunity to get out of the far right hand lane where you are trapped. People keep cutting in causing you to not move or be unable to move over into another lane that is moving a tad faster. But that window to get unstuck is hard to wait for sometimes, even more so if you are pressed to be somewhere and time is running out. Much like life. Time moves in one direction, at least in my life’s movie it does. The things you want/need to do have that same window of opportunity and if you get blocked into the wrong lane you could miss your exit or off-ramp. That piles on the stress and your blood pressure starts to rise.

Sometimes life is a big highway with many lanes and the good times are ahead and you are speeding towards them. Other times, you are leaving the good times and are headed back to a two-lane road where the options are mundane and limited. You may even get stuck behind a very slow driver with nothing but blind curves ahead where it is impossible to pass and pick up speed. The best advice I can give on driving (and life) is be alert. You may be stuck right now but if you see a chance coming up in the mirror, anticipate it and jump over. Make your way to where you need to go and do what you need to do. Ignore any irate honking or colorful remarks in your wake. In a world that will gladly beat you down, keep moving and make yourself the hardest target for them to hit. Obviously, there are potholes and detours along the way but keep going and find your cruising lane. Once you get there turn up the music and enjoy your little win for the day because tomorrow or later today could be a whole different journey and you may need to take someone else’s car.

Have a great day and be safe, sane and serene.

Peace.

November 1st Baseball

Good morning and good day overall.

Today is the first day of November in the year of 2016…and there’s still a baseball game to be played (hopefully just one!). Tonight is game six of the World Series featuring my Cleveland Indians against the also long suffering Chicago Cubs. After five games played, my Indians have won three and lost two. All five games have been very entertaining and packed with all kinds of tension for me. Obviously I would like my team to prevail so I can rejoice and exorcise the demons from 1995 (the David Justice home run in game six) and 1997 (the Mesa blown save in game seven) respectively plus the 2007 meltdown in the ALCS against Boston after being up 3 games to 1.

But win or (gulp) lose…I still love watching my Indians and I have a lot of pride to say I’m a fan. Especially with all the adversity the team has overcome within this season. Starting with the suspension of their projected center fielder for PED use (performance enhancing drugs). Then putting their superstar left fielder on the shelf with a recurrence of his shoulder injury from last year. Out of the gate the team had another poor April in the standings. A few months into the season, another outfielder was suspended for PED use. Late into the summer their starting catcher gets hurt and the team tries to procure an All-star replacement only to have that trade blocked by said All-star player. More injuries to two of their dominant starting pitchers. Another starting pitcher who was pulled from the rotation because he was ineffective was forced back into a starter’s role and put his head down and helped carry the team. It’s been a ride full of twists and turns and somehow they just find a way.

So with Terry ‘Tito’ Francona on the bench moving the levers and manipulating the strings…who knows? There’s always hope. That is why this is the year of BELIEVELAND.

Go Tribe! It doesn’t have to be pretty…just try to find a way one more time. #Windians

Peace.