Lucroy veto’d trade to Indians

Fine. Be selfish. Hope you never get a ring.

Sincerely,

This Guy
———————–

So the above was my initial response to the trade the Indians tried to execute to bring in a catching upgrade in their quest to end 68 years of no World Series title in Cleveland, Ohio. But a few days later after Jonathan Lucroy, catcher for the Milwaukee Brewers who are presently 15.5 games behind the Chicago Cubs in the National League Central Division, decided to slap the Indians in the face, I feel better about him rejecting the city of Cleveland.

Why? Simple. A championship caliber team needs every single guy on that roster pulling for each other and setting their individual agendas aside for one goal (see the 2015 Kansas City Royals). In that respect, Mr Lucroy tipped his hand pretty early. According to reports, Lucroy wanted his option year of his current contract torn up, Cleveland said no. Secondly, he wanted to be guaranteed the starting catcher job for next year, again Cleveland said no. Sure Cleveland could have fudged on the second one and been like, “oh sure buddy, it’s all yours” but standing on principal I believe a player should earn it and apparently the front office and Terry Francona agreed. And on the first count, the option year of his contract for $5+ million dollars ensures Cleveland gets some return on their heavy investment in the trade. Cleveland had agreed to trade four prospects (minor league players) to Milwaukee for just Lucroy. So that made the trade make a little more sense on their part instead of renting his services for two plus months and then in free agency he could just walk away leaving Cleveland with potentially nothing to show for the trade (if they should fail to capture the World Series title). Again this tipped Mr Lucroy’s hand. Cleveland is set up to be competitive this year and next, but he was more focused on getting out the door or having things handed to him instead of coming in and being a cog in a larger machine with a greater purpose. No wonder his team is floundering in Milwaukee if this is the kind of leadership he brings.

Many teams roll the dice with bringing in a player for the stretch run in hopes of going from a good team to a great team. Occasionally the player will gel with the squad and help carry them through but most of the time, it seems anyways, the player comes in and for whatever reason does not produce or have good chemistry with the clubhouse and the trade is a failure. I’ve been an Indians fan since the early 1990’s and with the exception of the 1995 and 1997 squads, I think this one could have the best chance to give me a heart attack…and/or win the whole f%cking thing.

Whether this year turns out as a Hollywood happy ending or just another crushing disappointment, at least I know my team and front office is doing everything in their power to try to make the Sudoku puzzle come out perfectly.

Now to suspend reality for a second. If I could bring in one catcher to lead Cleveland to the promised land, I would make a fairy tale trade (because they would never, and I mean EVER make this trade) with the St Louis Cardinals to bring in future Hall of Famer Yadier Molina. When it comes to grit, determination and leadership, there is no catcher in the whole league who brings what he does to his team. Between this year and last year his offensive production isn’t what it was several years ago but he is still a smart hitter and will give you quality at-bats. But where he becomes a game-changer is with his defense and his ability to call a game (not to mention the cannon he has for a right arm). This translates into his team always having a chance and when it gets to playoff time it’s all you can ask for where your team is involved.

Have a great Monday! Go Tribe!!!

Peace.

Cutting

Good day and pip, pip cheerio!

When I say ‘cutting’ what immediately comes to mind? Cutting glass? Cutting (your body)? Cutting people out of your life? Cutting the cheese? Cutting the grass? Cutting calories? Cutting the tag out of your shirt? Cutting someone off in traffic? Cutting Crew? Cutting corners? Cutting class? A cutting from a plant? Cutting a scene? Cutting in line? Cutting out sweets? Cutting someone? Cutting someone out of the deal?

I’m sure there are about a million more I am forgetting, but these were the seventeen ‘cutting’ references that immediately jumped to my mind.

Unlike most times I didn’t really have a long post in mind for this. It’s more about asking you, my reader, what comes next to your mind when the word is spoken or written? Not to be too inappropriate but what sparked the thought was when I noticed myself in the mirror this morning. I am wearing a red Dri-fit St Louis Cardinals shirt. Upon seeing myself in the mirror, my thought was: “My nipples are hard enough to be cutting glass!” Insert LOL here.

With my silliness out of the way, have a Super Happy Hump Day!

Peace.

Networking

Good morning. I started to work up a piece about bottled water and a few of my favorites. My top choice when available is FIJI. Next I like the Smartwater product, which I have only had one time from when I was in New York City in the spring of 2015. Perhaps it’s more tied to the sentimental memory, I’m not sure. There are a couple of others on the more affordable scale that I use on a weekly basis by the case: Ice Mountain and Nestle. On the negative scale, I will not drink Dasani, Aquafina or Deja Blue unless completely parched from being stranded in a desert for days. Some people may like the strange oily taste but for me it is not to my liking.

So as you can see, not much to stretch that topic out to fill a considerable piece. As I was turning this over in my brain matter, I got a group invite on Facebook and an idea was born! Why not talk about some Networking?!

Networking can be construed as anything from a neighborhood watch to using recruiters to find a job or posting an ad on Craigslist to try to build up the ranks of your cult. I myself am part of a softball network where the members are blindly dedicated to the gospel of playing ball and the addicting properties of competition and socialization. Plus we like shiny bats!

Over the years I have used networking to find new jobs, Christmas/birthday present ideas, a new softball team, a new fantasy football league and my kitty. Sometimes dealing with people can seem like a pointless chore but if utilized properly people can set you up with some pretty great results. Not everything ventured is something gained. But there have been times, for me, that reaching out to someone who I may not know all that well for an opinion has led to an unexpectedly cool result. With all the crazy ideas and concepts within me, I still know that if I poll different people I will get some feedback that I had not considered. Regardless of whether an idea has its genesis in finance or art or sports, different people can open up a different path that may make all the difference.

This has been my PSA for networking, which can be social. Reach out and knock that chocolate bar into the peanut butter to create your own figurative peanut butter cups. Something simple but great may await and all that is needed is your unwitting involvement.

Have a great non-Monday. Peace.

Drink, drank…drunk

Looking down a four day stretch that leads to the promised land (Friday), I have another topic to knock over like an excited child oblivious to their nearby cup of water. Drinking.

Whatever the drinking excuse: Happy Hour, playing softball, National Have A Beer Day (which apparently there are multiple?), it’s Thursday or the electric is going to be shut of because I didn’t pay the bill so all the chilled alcohol must be consumed – drinking happens. What happens from there on depends these components in the formula: volume of alcohol, the person’s tolerance and time duration.

The drinking scenario often unfolds like a horror film. Start by building the scene and introducing the characters but not much happens for awhile. Then there’s a strange sound. What was that? A ghost? A demon? Nope…just someone doing liquor shots. Now the movie turns. Things start to happen and the plot unfolds.

Whether a person chooses to get inebriated at home, a party, the ballgame, the bar, an outing – say, maybe mouse races or whatever – the essence of that person’s inner drunk is about to hit the stage.

Will they turn out to be the happy drunk, the crying drunk, the loud drunk, the angry drunk, the vulgar drunk, the puking drunk, the no-personal-space drunk or the passed out drunk? So many options and variations to choose from…don’t be hasty, take your time and figure out who you are. Me I tend to be very lovey-dovey and mobile in the early stages. I hit my buzz and I need to see what every single person in a thousand foot radius is up to. I tend to get drunk quickly (light-weight) but I also tend to rebound quickly and lose my buzz. As someone who is late to the party when it comes to the ways of drinking, I will try different drinks (thanks Kelsey for the tequila experience!) and see how I like it or don’t (i.e. Jägermeister – aka Jager aka The Pukemaker).

The people watching experience around drunks is very fine entertainment. Some ‘nice’ guys tend to devolve into drooling, pawing, base brain urge dudes searching for boobs and arse or a test of manhood. Some ‘nice’ ladies can go from being prim and proper into swearing like sailors and suggesting things that would make Charlie Sheen’s eyes bug out.

Another facet that generally comes to the surface besides the sex talking is honesty. Want an honest answer, ask a child or an elderly person or a drunk. Drunks will set you straight on any topic whether they know anything about it or not.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I’ve learned about people from when they were drunk. Inhibitions be damned, when the drunk tells you what they like, hold on because it’s going to come out whether you are ready or not. Besides the dark fantasies (fetishes?), you also learn about their dark secrets and the collateral secrets of their friends. Some of the revelations can be juicy but some are sad to learn. To the drunk you become their therapist or the sympathetic bartender. Be ready to learn the truth about past relationships or traumatic events in their lives. Maybe the experience is different for other people but many people, whom I have been in their presence when they have been throwing back drinks, feel the need to unburden their souls to me. I’ve learned about affairs, dangerous activities hidden from parents, unfortunate college events, abusive relationships, secret crushes, the honest sex (partner) number, threesomes, public urination, streaking, vandalism, thefts, moments of utter hopelessness and many other less saucy happenings that add to that person’s personal puzzle.

If you walk up to any random person, I guarantee that person has personal baggage. Whether it’s a deep-seated insecurity, a traumatic childhood, a secret illness, an incurable depression, a compulsive disorder or any of the zillion other things that can negatively impact a person’s psyche – something is eating that person on some level. So when alcohol is added, that deep-seated seed starts to grow a bean stalk that they sometimes use to climb out of that private inner pit.

Now I know getting drunk is only one way of achieving an altered mental state (see drugs, sleep deprivation, heightened stress, etc) but its the one I’m most familiar with so that’s the one I am commenting on presently. Luckily or not, I usually do not purge my soul too much when I am under the influence. I tend to have a super stupid grin on my face and hug every one who makes eye contact…or I retreat to be by myself and lament my entire life’s mistakes. There really is no middle ground. So if you see me drinking quite a bit and then you don’t see me you can do the math.

With today being Monday the chance of encountering drunks is minimal in my circles but there’s always a chance. Life goes on every single day and sometimes the need for escape is too great to ignore or deny. For those who have opened up to me (whether you remember it or not) I appreciate your stories and experiences and I will hold onto them for you. With the upcoming weekend, I am set to go floating (float trip) with some of my softball friends but by myself within the group for the first time in my life. I know there will be drinking and swimming aplenty. Chances of myself ending up somewhere alone in the dark with a bottle and my thoughts are above 90% according to the forecast but who knows?

Have a great week. Peace.

Footnote: I did look up the correct usage of deep-seated. I initially thought the phrase was deep-seeded but according to the on-line dictionary reference it is deep-seated. So grammar Nazis can chill out.  🙂

Monday Monday Monday!

OK so somehow I messed up and couldn’t stop the weekend from evaporating again. And for my failure I am presented with this Monday thing again.

(Shakes a fist at the ceiling) Why??!!

(Notices co-workers nervously whispering and stops.)

So now that we are here let’s make the best of it. I wish you luck with yours, I have to go and find mine. (Warrant, Jani Lane, Letter to a Friend).

Stay tuned and do not let the ninjas with explosive diarrhea get you and then sit on you!

Peace!

Lives Matter

Good morning and hello. How the heck are you? No, really, I mean with all the garbage we all have to silently deal with on our own, yeah that stuff. So on a scale of two (2) to nine (9), with two being the low number of buckets of crap in your life and with nine being the max number of buckets you could possibly ever deal with before spontaneous combustion occurs, where do you rate yourself right now?

I’ll give you a couple of minutes to tabulate your answer. Some people may only have two buckets with very little in each and thus have a very light load to bear. On the other hand, some are loaded down with the max number of heaping, over-flowing buckets. The handles are digging into fingers, forearms, the crook of the elbow and looped over one foot as they strain and try to maintain their balance before tumbling sideways…ultimately getting buried in the sum of their woes. At any given time, the answer will vary depending on the divergent, stray comet that streaks into our lives to break up the norm. For the most part I generally hover (like a lady in a public restroom) around the three bucket mark.

If you were able to glimpse into my brain, you would see me: worrying about going out and making it back home so my Sadie is taken care of and spoiled for her entire lifespan, worrying about my mom and her happiness – since she was deprived of it for literally decades, lamenting the failure of my twenty plus year relationship with my ex-wife, wondering if today is the day I walk into my job and find out it has been outsourced completely overseas, thinking about every rough patch of highway between my apartment to work and if one of the many pot holes damaged my tires enough that one of them will blow out at a moment when I would be least likely to be able to control a bucking, fish-tailing high speed vehicle…and finally about two to three dozen other things, ranging from my personal love life to do I need to exercise more.

The good thing about my buckets is that I tend to dump them out periodically. Some things you figure out are not solvable and wasting your emotions and energy on are pointless. So dump the bucket out, clean it with something that smells nice and situate it back into position and see what it fills up with next.

OK with this PSA (Public Service Announcement) on mental health out of the way, let me say it’s not for me to judge you or what you have to deal with on a daily basis. We all have baggage, some that we have been lugging around for years upon years. So much so that it is permanently ingrained into our being. Life events, tragedies, injuries (physical and mental) and so on and so forth has shaped the person who wears your shirts. Besides the DNA we walked into this world with, those things are what has shaped your personality, your sense of humor, your work ethic, your morality, your musical taste, your temperament and your entire encompassed self. Unless you are like ten years old, it is very hard to effect drastic changes in your life but small incremental ones can make a difference to larger ones down the road. I know I’m talking some general greeting card speak right now and I apologize.

For the most part I am speaking from my first person perspective. Luckily I have had a pretty healthy life and with the exception of losing loved ones to the afterlife and a few blindside betrayals, I have not been struck with more than I can handle too often. In many of my posts, I have listed my Twitter, Facebook and personal email for contacting me to take requests for topics or comments. In reciprocation, I have ‘met’ a few people from a world away that have become pen pals (of the email variety). The feedback is occasionally that I am a hack and couldn’t write a menu for McDonalds but the other 80% I will take. Like the woman from England who ‘loved’ my piece on suicide and depression or the woman from Canada who said she reads all of my posts because she gets my point of view and I balance some humor with being genuine and true. Note: I am not a mental health professional but I am a good listener who can suspend judgement to just listen to someone who needs to say something. So the invitation is always open for anyone who wants to reach out to me seeking an opinion or just wants to present theirs or just needs an impartial stranger to unburden to…it’s all OK.

So back to the title of this post. I guess you were expecting some diatribe about a group of people of a certain color and how their lives should be valued in relation to other colors of the rainbow? I think any rational person knows the right answer here so I’m not going to waste the time to type it. The only caveat I will add is that companion animal lives matter too. If you take a pet into your home, you should take the time to take care of them properly and love them. The responsibility is not as great as having a child but should be taken just as serious. If someone were to get their baby home and it started crying and they posted a Craigslist add to try to re-home the baby because the baby was not working out – the world would lose its collective mind. In my opinion, the outrage should be nearly as great when someone has a pet and they decide to move into another place that doesn’t take animals. Except for like 1% of these cases where they have no choice, the human does have a choice to not be a horrible example for our disposable society and treat their animals like a Motorola Razor phone that is outdated and discard-able. So I guess I’m saying companion animal lives matter. 🙂  I’m sure I’ve offended someone. All I can say is it’s not the first time I’ve taken someone aback and it certainly will not be the last.

Thank you for reading this Hump Day edition of my blog. Hope you are rewarded by the hump fairy.

Peace.

Open to the public

Good morning and thank you for joining me once again here on the virtual leather reclining couch. I have had this nagging feeling I am forgetting something all morning. After a peaceful, restful three or so hours of sleep I awoke and headed for the shower. Whilst in the shower each morning, I try to mentally set up my day of things I need to do for not only today but the rest of the week or weekend depending on the day obviously. So after I scrub my face and shave if necessary, I shampoo my hair and then loofah the remainder of my person. This process from start to finish can take just a few minutes or as long as half an hour depending on what is tumbling through my mind.

This morning the routine was on the shorter side, in and out in about 7-8 minutes. As Sadie The Spoiled Cat ascended the toilet en route to her spot on the sink to demand the water be turned on for her drinking leisure, I had this nagging sense of something forgotten. While in the shower, I check-listed to: finish showering, drying off, applying deodorant, brushing my hair (either left or right part depending on the hair Gods whimsy this morning) and dressing myself. Note: I had already brushed my teeth before the shower so do not think I am a nasty mouth.

I accomplished the normal work morning routine items and turned off the water once little Miss Sadie had her fill. I proceeded downstairs with reasonable speed. But standing in the kitchen weighing a few breakfast options, something was still buzzing in my mind like a gnat next to my  ear. Next I cleaned the litter box and gave Sadie fresh water. Nope that was not it. Still the gnat feeling. It’s July 19th. Maybe it’s someone’s birthday? I scrolled through the Facebook birthday reminder section. There was a few and I noted Happy Birthday wishes but still buzz-buzz-buzz.

Perhaps, I am forgetting to pay a bill? But after a quick rundown of my bills…nope all of those were paid two weeks ago. Laundry switched? Yep. For the life of me, I just cannot lock in on what my internal universe wants me to remember. So if at some point we are talking, texting, instant messaging, doing Pictionary or what have you and I blurt something out that is more random than my usual – just know at that moment I figured it out.

Remember to eat lunch and dinner. Good portions and stuff from the periodic table of foods or whatever it is called. Peace.

Follow Me

How did you get here? Did you follow me? Was it Facebook? Google? Bookmarked browser? Twitter? Tumblr? Did you come back from the future after seeing me wearing a t-shirt that said:

GOOGLE ME:
SCOTTLATTA BLOG

I’m hoping it was the t-shirt and not the thong underwear I had made for myself. But either way, kudos on the successful time travel dealio.

Regardless of how you ultimately arrived here, the question now shifts: What are you looking to find here? My personal contact information? My BMI score? Cool videos and images to steal and pass off as your own? A tutorial on developing a thick German accent? The secret formula for Coca Cola? Tips on how to launch your own version of Craigslist? What? What do you want? Tell me!

As I wait for an influx of requests/demands, let’s all hum the Star Spangled Banner.

Wow, someone really is off rhythm…oh wait…that’s probably me.

Now I will step aside but here is a shameless plug to say Follow Me on my social media outlets: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Podbean, Tumblr and of course this splendid, stupendous, amazingly insightful blog!

Monday bliss to everyone! Peace.

Piano, acoustic guitar and a voice

Listening to the intro of Wiz Khalifa’s See You Again video, the piano sequence locks it in for me. In this world of over-dubbed auto-tune, it’s a clean strong sound that just hits me in the ventricles. Another favorite of mine is by Richard Marx, Now & Forever. This is a simple acoustic guitar arrangement. My musical tastes span the entire spectrum, depending upon my mood of course, and in diversity I find beauty. If you just live in one genre as the pop/rap artist Flo Rida might croon, it’s possible you could miss out on waves of soul touching lyrics and melodies.

So I challenge each and every one of you to seek out something new today and every day. We each only have so many days in our lives. Shouldn’t you try as many new things as possible? Sure there are going to be the cinnamon flavored Lima beans along the way, but also there are going to be things that open up new worlds and passions that you never knew were locked below the surface.

Today I am looking to find something in the reggae pool. Obviously there have been some mainstream cross-overs (Shaggy – It Wasn’t Me, UB40 – Red Red Wine) but I am looking for a pocket of new items I am not already familiar with – like Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds.

One of my favorite artists of any genre is Weird Al Yankovic. He did a reggae parody called Buy Me A Condo.

Another great artistic piece was composed by the then Jani Lane led band Warrant called Andy Warhol Was Right.

I have a YouTube playlist that literally is full enough to get me through an entire work day and I keep adding to it every day.

A couple of months ago my friend Matt, whom I have been best friends with since I was 10, took me and his his two daughters to a ‘record’ store in the city. The expanse of this store was packed to the rafters with albums, CD’s, DVD’s, games and who knows all what else that I didn’t even notice. But the overwhelming idea hit me that within that store was thousands of CD’s containing on average a tenfold amount of songs for each CD. Granted the majority of those songs I probably might not like but this one store probably had 250,000 songs conservatively guessing. And this was by no means, a comprehensive representation of all the world’s music. So of the millions or potentially billions of songs that exist either on vinyl, CD or in “The Cloud” – I have experienced not even 1% of what is out there. Unbelievable. Right now, more than likely exists a perfect song for what I’m feeling at this moment or something that could release enough endorphins in my brain to kill me with happiness. It’s possible. The sad fact is that this is true for everyone out there…and radio stations keep playing the same Luke Bryan garbage every hour. Tsk Tsk.

From here on out, put the needle on the record or let that Pandora station shuffle. You just never know when your Ultimate Jam is potentially waiting to ambush you.

Happy Monday and rock out with your personality out. Peace.

No Halloween This Year (New Story Excerpt)

Chapter One

Corey swung his legs over the side of the bed. It was still dark outside and only the green glow from the alarm clock provided any illumination. He leaned over and switched off the alarm that was still 15 minutes away from sounding. Faintly he could hear the TV on downstairs. The only person in this house who slept less than he did was Gramps. With a groan, his feet slowly descended to the cool hardwood floor. Coming to a standing position, Corey felt and heard his lower back crack and pop. Some days on the farm made him feel like he was forty-five not his actually twenty-five.

Five minutes later, Corey was dressed for a dirty work day and on the stairs headed downstairs. About three steps from the bottom, the smell of strong coffee filled his nose. Gramps loved him some strong coffee but Corey never really developed a taste for the stuff. Give him a kidney killing energy drink or an ice cold beer and he had the whole day covered beverage-wise. The TV volume grew louder. Corey cut through the kitchen and into the living room.

Gramps was in his favorite overalls sitting forward in his burgundy leather recliner staring intently at the TV mounted above the fireplace with remote in hand. On the screen an attractive blonde female news reporter was standing in a field gesturing behind her.

“…local farmer Mackenzie Brooks made the discovery and subsequently called the police to report the vandalism. When we spoke to police chief Al Warrenton he said, the case was actually classified as a theft. Five acres worth of pumpkins, of all things, were stolen. The thieves picked everything clean. Not a single pumpkin, not even the rotten ones were left. The whole field was picked completely clean. Mr. Brooks estimated that there were probably five to six hundred pumpkins here just yesterday and now, nothing.”

Corey felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end for a second and then the sensation passed.

Gramps thumbed the well-worn Mute button on the remote and tossed it onto the couch cushion next to him. “Aint that some donkey dumps”, he muttered.

“Morning Gramps.”

Gramps full body flinched before turning a surly eye to Corey. “Damn it, Corey. You practicing to be a ninja again?”

When Corey had been younger and into Kung Fu plus the Ninja Turtles, he used to sneak around and tried to spook everyone in an unsuspecting moment. Once he had caught Gramps in the bathroom by surprise while he was standing in front of the commode doing his business. It was a lesson learned in consequences and also in adult vocabulary. Simultaneously Gramps sprayed Corey with a stream of curses and also some asparagus enhanced urine. From that day forth, Corey learned the bathroom was a safe zone for all shenanigans.

“Sorry Gramps, no need to be all pissy.”

Gramps rolled his eyes and shook his head at the much used pun. “Funny. You see that story on the TV from Virginia about that pumpkin farmer that got robbed? What’s this world coming to?”

Corey shrugged, “I dunno. Every day it seems the world thinks of weirder and weirder stuff to do to each other. What time is Marquez showing up today? He is supposed to help me on the south side according to the schedule.”

A frown creased Gramps face. “Well if he puts in an effort like he did for me yesterday, I hope his sorry butt stays home. I aint gonna keep paying him to half-ass it. Lots to get done in the next couple of weeks and he has been useless as truck with no tires.”

Nodding, Corey grabbed the last wheat bagel and a cold Venom energy drink from the fridge before heading for the front door. “I’m going to go out to the barn and check on that litter of puppies before I get started.”

“You shoulder probably eat more than that”, Gramps indicated by nodding towards the bagel.

With a big smile Corey took a big bite of the bagel and mumbled around the mouthful, “I will at brunch.” And with that turned and went out the front door. The screen door closed with a hollow muffled sound. Two quick steps and he was boots on gravel headed for the green barn. Gramps called them the Christmas barns as the one on the south side was green and the one on the north side was a faded red.

After a quick check on the litter of mutt pups nursing and sleeping up against Molly the collie, Corey pulled the string on the overhead naked bulb to extinguish the light. He had left the light on for them overnight but they could deal with the dark for another 45 minutes or so until sunrise. Retracing his steps to the entrance of the barn, he had done this so many times he didn’t need to see, he paused. On the front of the barn was a motion activated flood light that had been tripped when he had approached. It lit a circular area of about 25 feet directly in front of the barn entrance. The glow was a bit dulled by dirt and dead bugs that accumulated on the surface of the light. An odd thought occurred to him. Around the far side was a quarter field of pumpkins that they grew each year for the local town festival for the week leading up to Halloween. He decided to make a deviation from his normal routine and go check on them.

Stepping out of the light and into the shadows, Corey walked the path that was outlined with inset square concrete stepping stones. The stones made getting between the barn and the field gate less like walking in quicksand during the rainy seasons. Overhead the stars were muted and seemed to be in retreat with dawn soon to arrive. His boots made almost no noise except a swishing sound through the almost grass that was in need of having a final cut this year. Just ahead the path inclined and the four foot gate loomed as a gray shadow against the darkness.

Corey reached the gate and worked the stubborn bolt free to open the gate and let it swing inward a few feet of its own volition. It took a few seconds of squinting before Corey could process what he was seeing…or not seeing.

 

Chapter Two

Median

For the purposes of this piece I will refer to the fourth noted definition of the word median:

“the strip of land between the lanes of opposing traffic on a divided highway”

But in today’s case the median was actually a triangular-shaped concrete, re-enforced barrier. Why would I write about something so mundane? Because today that mundane inanimate object, that sits there in all seasons regardless of extreme temperature fluctuations, literally saved my life.

My fingers still feel a bit jittery and I think my heart-rate is finally starting to return to normal. This incident isn’t like the countless near-misses encountered daily from drivers weaving carelessly into my lane or cutting me off with very little regard for heavy, fast objects nearly occupying the same physical space. This was the real deal.

It was about 7:20am and I was driving on I-270 northbound just past Manchester Road in the far left lane to avoid the congestion building for the drivers wanting to use the upcoming I-40 exit. My attention was drawn to a gray sedan (perhaps a Buick, I couldn’t tell). The long gray car darted from one of the slower lanes, in an out-of-control arc, quickly towards the lanes near the median. But instead of the car straightening and filling a lane, it just continued to veer more perpendicular than parallel to the median. Quickly my mind did the math and my heart jumped into my throat. In the next two to three seconds, the gray car made a beeline for an intersecting path of my car. Three…two…one…[IMPACT].

At this point I was doing a version of the Macarena dance and I believe I said something that rhymed with “OH SH!T!” as my car was showered with bits of broken glass and engine coolant. Luckily that well-engineered mass of concrete held and I was able to dart by virtually unscathed. With all of my nerve endings on fire, I checked the carnage in my rear view mirror and saw the gray car rebound and start to slide back into the middle lanes of traffic on the southbound side. Soon the scene was out of my view and I turned on the windshield wipers to clear the coolant and bits of debris from my driving view.

I have zero doubt in my mind that if the gray car would’ve breached that barrier I would not be here to write this blog. At the very least I would be lying in a hospital in emergency surgery or just straight away gone from this world. If you are familiar with the term T-Boned when it comes to traffic accidents, it means someone hitting someone basically at a 90 degree angle. Getting T-boned, either right in front of my driver’s side door or right on it, doing about 65 miles per hour by another vehicle doing a similar rate of speed and then throw in any secondary accidents that would’ve followed…cash in your chips you are done at this table.

The point of this piece is not to get attention and say look at me, the point of the piece is bring light to how fleeting everything is. If you have something nice or sweet or something you really need to tell someone, just do it because at any moment there could be no more moments. Now if you have something un-nice to say, perhaps just keep that to yourself. There is enough negativity floating around these days.

Thank you for reading my silly posts and giving me a small measure of validation in my otherwise insignificant life. Stay safe out there and find something to smile about.

Peace.

P.S. Note if this would’ve been tomorrow instead of today, I would’ve been doing my normal Thursday edition of my podcast and this would’ve been captured in audio form so you would’ve probably almost heard me poo in my pants.

The future is coming

Scroll, click, smile, laugh. Scroll, click, frown. Scroll, click, flip off the screen.

I imagine these three scenarios above describe ninety percent of my readers. And that is awesome. Why would I think this? Because that means I am striking a chord with my readers. From a narcissistic point of view everyone would most likely want option number one above but from my mental catbird seat I will take all three. A frown can be someone encountering a thought attached to a negative memory or sad truth unsaid or just a thought path not previously taken. And as for flipping me the bird, I’m sure it happens not only in traffic behind me occasionally but also in reading my thought processes behind something I think.

Not everything in life needs to be in harmony and mindless agreement. Some of the greatest epiphanies and discoveries occurred when someone dissented and sought their own path. The world is flat, it is definitively flat! This just in! The world is NOT flat! Extra Extra Read All About It! This mold stuff is worthless, just throw it out. Wait a minute Sir Alexander Fleming, you want to use this mold as antibiotic to help heal sickness? That’s just crazy…or is it?

In today’s world of commerce, there is a need for structure and accounting. But to create those virtual and physical bridges into tomorrow, the sideways thinkers are going to be called upon to forge ahead. So put on your lab coat and crazy up your hair. It’s time to left hand blue and right elbow yellow until we twist this reality into something that was previously unseen (except by maybe someone doing meth and Nyquil together). Not everyone can do it. Just like Winona Ryder’s character Lydia Deetz in the 1988 film Beetlejuice says: “Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am strange and unusual.”

So as we patiently await the sequel in this franchise, look around. Take note of how much things have changed in the last 10 years and just think of how much more they will in the next ten years if not the next five. With the bell curve of technology and science…hold on because you haven’t seen anything yet – good or bad. Chernobyl the remake anyone?

With all of this being said, I am still waiting for the Jetson’s like engineered food: Capsules that instantaneously convert to full blown meals. But to piggyback on that, how about these foods with full portions but locked in at like  100 calories – like the snack packs at the grocery store. Hmmm? Come on scientists, where are these? Chop Chop! So with these disturbing thoughts trickling free: Come To The Darkside…We Have Nachos!

Hope your week is off and running downhill with the wind at your back and no banana peels under your feet.

Peace.

Pokemon Go…and GO!

Did you unlock the Mega MooStararinni or the Morphed Eevee? If you surf through eight (8) of my blog posts, you just might find a super secret Pokemon character for your quest! Or not. Any product franchise rooted in young child age groups that has a drinking game inspired by it, is doing something right and I would bet hella profitable. Right now if you are an active player you may be thinking of taking me out but beware: You may be Common, Uncommon or Rare but I am Legendary-Shiny! Hahahaha! You can chat with me as a sprite while I drink my Sprite! Oh I got Pokemon jokes for days but before you become disenchanted or try to dispel me, please know that I am only Pokemoning fun at you. Perhaps someone well versed in the game-play can educate me and maybe entice me into playing but otherwise I will just sit over here amused and remain a Pokemon virgin as a normal type.  🙂

Have a spiffy good old Monday!

Peace.

What if the above leads to the below…

Still want to play???

Blowing people off

Welcome to the blog of maybe your favorite virtual writer who has a total five letter T’s in his three names.

Do you ever enter into a conversation with someone and just abruptly, it stops and you don’t hear from the person for awhile? I don’t mean like 15 minutes or an hour, I mean like a day goes by or a week and then the other person is like, hey what’s going on? I get it that every one in today’s society is super busy and things come up. But it seems like there are some people (that I know) who habitually just blow people off.

Me: Hey wanna get together later?
Friend: Sure. Text me in an hour.
Me: (Promptly an hour later) So you still want to do something?
Friend: (No response)

(Four days later)
Friend: Hey.
Me: So what happened to you the other day?
Friend: Oh I fell asleep.
Me: For four days…?
Friend: Lol

I guess it is what it is. Obviously not the end of the world but when some of those friends are all Gungho for something and you do not text them back within 2 minutes…they hop on down friend street to find someone else to entertain them.

I am not wired that way I guess. If I am interacting with someone for awhile and there needs to be a break to go complete a task, keep an appointment or just let the other person sleep there are polite social cues to drop in. For instance, well it’s getting late I should let you sleep or I have to run to softball and will talk to you later or just a simple I have to jump off here and talk to you later. Any of these are a little more gentle than just willfully ignoring someone for days until you feel like interacting with them. In addition to being busy, I understand sudden things do occur and you may not be able to respond to an IM or a text. If someone I am texting with gets hit by an asteroid or is trapped in an avalanche, there is some slack to be extended there.

OK I think that is probably enough on the subject but I just wanted to air it out there. If you ask me a question or we are communicating you can expect a response within a reasonable amount of time. Now the response may be goofy or lead to a different course of conversation but I will try to never blow anyone off…unless they are a sucky human being.  🙂

Have a great weekend and come back often for new topics or just go back over the hundreds of posts I have for something you may enjoy.

Peace.

Went outside…

So I went outside a few minutes ago to use my cell phone because I have T-Mobile service and I do not get reception inside the building. Upon stepping outside this happened to my hair:

Moral of the story…I wish I had stronger cell service. 🙂

Peace.