No Offense

Happy Hump Day – the last one for March 2018! Time, relatively speaking, seems to have flown by in the first three months of this year. It is already the end of March and the baseball regular season is set to begin tomorrow (Thursday, March 29^th); so that is something to be excited and enthused about for the short-term. But twirling in this everyday grind of adulting, things are so much lather, rinse and repeat. Obviously for the hygiene-conscious people this has a literal translation but also in the cosmic sense of full-time adult life of having to work to support family and a life style – it applies there too.

Tuesday Picture Fun – 03-27-2018

Sometimes I cannot function well enough to put together two to eight thousand words like I would like to…so on those days I grab a bunch of random pictures and let them speak for me. Today’s pictures depict, well, you tell me.

Have a great day and let me sort out my brain for extended word related content.

Peace.

 

On-line Bulletin Board Ads

In the spirit of reading on-line Want Ads, Notices and Services Offered – I fabricated a few for entertainment value.

PSA for Mental Reminder

For everyone who has told me:

You’re not good enough

You’re nothing

You will fail

You are worthless

You’re too short

You just can’t

You don’t matter

I say:

I DON’T CARE…and SUCK IT.

 

 

Writing Fragments (Cutting Room Floor)

Happy Hump Day e-travelers! Hope your surfing experience is hitch and glitch free. Sometimes when I have ideas in my head that knock on the inner door asking for entry, there is a bit of a tangent that occurs. I can usually see a bit of a silly path or a serious path to write about in flushing out the idea. Today in a random moment while washing my hands (yes people, you can do that after going #1 or #2 in a public restroom! Ugh!), I spied the restroom attendant’s cart of cleaning supplies. One such item was a sheathed toilet brush. From there the tangent process just flowed (sorry for the pun).

Bathroom Attendant Dory (BAD): Hi there. Are you having a great day?

ME: (Washing hands) Yeah it’s OK.

BAD: Mind if I ask you a question?

ME: (Hesitantly) Sure.

BAD: (Reaches into her cart and pulls out a toilet brush) Does this smell like fresh apple blossoms?

ME: (Visibly grimacing) I’d rather not.

BAD: (Pulls the toilet brush close, closes her eyes and smells it like a flower) I smell a meadow and a summer breeze.

ME: (Finishes washing hands and activates auto-paper towel dispenser) OK, well I have to get back to work now.

BAD: (Unceremoniously whips brush to within inches of my nose) Can’t you just smell the grass and breeze?

ME: In all honesty, it smells like mildew, boiled eggs and purification.

BAD: (Looking more than slightly offended and facially saddened) That’s not very nice. Wandy has been with me six years as of today. She has helped me clean up some pretty nasty messes. (She starts waving the toilet brush around like a child with a 4^th of July sparkler.)

ME: Alright, sorry to offend Wandy but I have to go now.

BAD: It’s OK. Maybe I will take her bowl-ling later to celebrate our six years together! Get it, bowl-ling?

ME: Alrightey then, take care, bye bye now.

This took about a minute to play out in my head between washing my hands and waiting for the elevator. I forgot to mention BAD was wearing long, oven-cleaning-yellow, rubber gloves and a protective apron like Dexter used to wear on his show.

Hope your day before the day before Friday is going well.

Peace.

<<03-21-2018>>

Loch Ness Monster 2018

In doing my last piece/post, I got to wondering about how deep the deepest portion of Loch Ness is and according to the inter-web, that depth would be 755 feet.

Concuss Thy Self

Hello and greetings! Today is Tuesday and it’s a foggy, fuzzy day just like yesterday. And no I am not making a visual assessment of the weather conditions of Loch Ness; although it would be cool to check out Nessie’s home at least once before I am rendered into a pile of dust.

Spiral me this

Good morning patrons of Friday! Good day!

I am sure that most of you are like me today and stumped by the lack of Wiki pages or enshrinement websites to the late Mahlon W Kenney.

Social Anxiety

Hello and welcome. Today is the second Wednesday in March 2018 so if you have a calendar you can probably narrow today’s date down based on deductive reasoning. For the first time in several weeks I feel as though I can catch my breath. No I have not been on a treadmill non-stop or doing a ton of exertion-based exercises. I am meaning from a figurative point of reference, I can mentally exhale and be OK for a minute.

MLB Salary Crisis

Good day. I come to you under the direst of circumstances to talk about what is plaguing Major League Baseball today: Player salaries. There it’s out. Now we can stop ignoring the butterfly in the room…or was it an elephant? Who knows.

Since the 2017 World Series ended and free agency opened up, there have been more than a few player movement deals but not nearly as many as in previous years. For whatever reasons, during this off season the general managers have drawn their line in the sand and shown actual restraint. It has been spooky. Normally by this time in spring training, fans have a plethora of signings to mull over and jabber about for the good and the bad. ‘Franchise X grossly overpaid for this player to fill a need but so did about a dozen others.’

GBF Tourney On Deck

Good morning!

Today is March 7th and I have put together all I can to align the 10 coed teams and 12 men’s teams for the Greg Fusco Memorial Softball Tourney this weekend at Wolffs Softball Haven.

As someone who has played in literally countless games of softball, from leagues to tournaments, I have a heightened sense of respect for those who run these endeavors and plan them. All of the behind the scenes stresses and trouble-shooting is insane. To the casual observer it seems like you find a place, show up, play, then go home. If only things were that simple.

Panera Bagels and the Devil’s Calories!

Hello and happy Fridayyyyyyyyyy!

As Barry Manilow sang once (or a million times): Looks like we made it! And for the record, yes I have that wide of a musical interest that I can appreciate Mr. Manilow along with the likes of Linkin Park, Trace Adkins, Disturbed, Huey Lewis, Blink 182, P!nk and a slew of other genres. For my religious blog followers (read habitual, not holy devotees), you may have seen a mention of my recent attempt to adhere to a 1700 calorie daily diet. The parameters of the ‘diet’ are: anything goes within that calorie range for my daily intake (glutens welcome!) but I just need to stay in that range from midnight to midnight each daily cycle.