Podcast 05-31-2016

Good morning.
Some of you had mentioned that I was a couple of weeks out since my last podcast. Well there was a snafu with one that I recorded about two weeks ago. My storage on my iPhone was apparently tapped out so the 35 minute session (in the car) was wiped out. Then on the heels of that I was having a ‘bad’ week so I said screw it and did not go back into the ‘studio’…until this morning!
Yes my latest podcast is up on the Podbean site. I cover the local sports scene and the demise of the St Louis Blues plus my Cleveland Indians and the St Louis Cardinals. I also threw in a few tidbits about my softball and my current career path/plight. Check it out:

Pod Bean Podcast – Free & Premium

After checking my stats for the month, I am able to confirm that the month of May 2016 reached personal highs for total views and total visitors. I am stoked and looking to expand and extend my social media reach. Ideally I would like to parlay this blog and the supporting outlets into a paying venture. This should be a bit of a reality check. I have a lifestyle based on my current salary and hours dedicated to my day job but looking around the world, I think I can do better. From a creative standpoint, I think I have as much to offer as a good portion of what is already offered. Now the branding…ouch.
So if you already follow me on Twitter or Facebook or my Blog or Podbean … thank you. Hopefully I can make a little progress each week and become a full-time social media manager or something in that vein. As always, I appreciate your feedback and support. See everyone in June!

Last Friday Blog!! (In May 2016)

It is raining here off and on. I just wanted to set the record straight on that topic because I am not sure what you have heard. Don’t know all the word the street gossip going round.
Happy Memorial Day weekend to all the military personnel doing their duty for our country round the world. Hope you are safe and get to see or hear from your loved ones.

It has been brought to my attention that I am all over social media these days (Tumblr, this Blog, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Podbean, etc). In my defense, I have been obsessed with technology since 1982 when my parents bought me my first computer: a Commodore 64. As a ten year old boy, I would sit in my room writing programs in BASIC code and open up other programs to cannibalize their code to perk up my programs. My friend Matt and I actually would send back and forth a bi-weekly trade disk (5.25 floppy) with our efforts for the other to test drive and debug. Modems did exist back them, but they would monopolize the dedicated home phone line and were dreadfully slow, thus the need for the trade disk format. So today’s manifestation is more or less the continuance of that tradition started 30 plus years ago.
Tumblr 05272016
Obviously if you read the above paragraph you are probably quasi-following my blog. If I had to recommend another form of social media of mine for you to check out – it would be hands down my Twitter (@oohaw94). The format is shorter and you can scroll through any of my 6000+ Tweets. My Facebook account is less fun because of threads where other people comment and some of those are fun and interesting but it kind of becomes a discussion as opposed to a pure flow of my ideas. Good or bad…that is for the reader to determine.
So if you get to enjoy a pork steak this weekend, I will be envious. Please drink responsibly. If not, can you make sure your friends take videos and post them to YouTube?
Enjoy the remainder of your Friday and we shall see you back here on another day I hope!

Universal peace.

Artistic Expression

Whether you put brush to canvas, chalk to sidewalk, pen to paper, ink to skin or words to paper, you are an artist. The depth of your artistry is subjective depending upon who is judging your work. Your most stout critic should always be yourself and also, your most supportive supporter should also be you. The outside world is another can of beans.

A poet who only writes poems for his/her mom, that only his/her mom reads; therefore subjectively to that mom, her child is probably the most gifted poet of all time. To a neutral English professor who has studied the various forms of poetry for three decades, he may be more inclined to say those same poems are hot garbage based on numerous flaws, least of which is poor spelling, followed closely by being written on used toilet paper.
One of the vital lynchpins of artistic expression is the experience each person who encounters it has. A man and a woman will look at a charcoal rendering of a sunrise over a lake surrounded by woods. Each person will have a primal reaction to the piece. The guy may relate, hey that looks like a great place to go fishing. The gal may look at the same piece and start planning her honeymoon for a man (or woman) she hasn’t even met yet. These are basic first impressions and something in the piece may have tapped into a memory or a fantasy for each of them.
I can see that beauty in the pieces I write. Not all of them are stellar works, but while I am relaying a point of view on a topic of interest to me, it may strike a different chord across the board with my readers. When I write about baseball some of my readers may shut down and scroll on; unless I have cool images stolen from the internet that have some sort of appeal or interest. Others still have no real interest in my baseball view but read anyway to feel the flow of the point I am trying to make. Not every thing is black and white in a story. A baseball story (or a hockey story) may really have an undercurrent speaking to loyalty and having a side of the fence – regardless whether it is right or wrong.
One of the tougher things about being an artist or having artistic expression, is knowing what your art is missing and when too much is overkill. When you draw a picture of a face, you add the eyes, a nose and a mouth. But what about stepping back and drawing the curves and contours of the face? Adding well-plucked eyebrows. Delicately adding fine eyelashes. Does the expression of the mouth change the light and shadows around the eyes and cheeks? Are there any distinguishing scars or freckles? Now you must add hair and note the direction(s) it flows. The proportion of the hair needs to be examined. With the addition of hair, you now need to sketch the neck and throat area. With all of these things accounted for, what are the intangibles missing from your picture? Are you happy with it? Does it need facial hair, jewelry, something else entirely? You can go so deep and add so many bells and whistles and still not feel finished. Before you add your signature or initials to your ‘finished’ piece, how does it feel to you? Will someone who sees this piece recognize this person if they know them? If so, does it do them justice?
This thought process crosses all mediums. Then the process may only take a few minutes or can drag on for hours or days or longer if you creatively get stuck…or afraid to complete it. Fear of messing something up has stalled many a project. You have the genesis for what you think is an inspiring or compelling piece. The whirlwind romance of you and the idea start out hot and heavy. Then about mid-way through you consider something new or have another layer that could make your work better or it could completely drown your start in potty fodder. Sometimes it takes a few hyperventilating breaths to go on…because no one wants to fail. There are many things in my life I have started and not finished. I think most of us can honestly say this. Being judged is hard. Being judged inferior is even harder – whether it is reality or not – and can feel like a cork screw to the gut or the heart. At some point you just have to have resolute confidence in yourself – almost to a maniacal point. Some of the best artists of all-time and even modern times have had crisis of confidence and sanity. Look at 2007 Britney Spears. Not everyone can pull off the crazy and come out the other side successful. And no I’m not saying she is an all-time great, just noting an ‘artist’ who put herself out there for better or worse and survived.
So whatever you do to express yourself, keep doing it and push yourself to reinvent your vision and passion. Every day is a blank canvas and you can splash some you on it.

Have a great hump day. Peace.

St Louis Blues – Conference Series


Game 1 (in St Louis) – Win 2-1
Elliott 31 saves – 1 goal allowed
PPG scored: 1 PPG allowed: 0
# of Penalties taken: 3 (6 minutes)

Game 2 (in St Louis) – Loss 4-0
Elliott 20 saves – 3 goals allowed (1 ENG)
PPG scored: 0 PPG allowed: 2
# of Penalties taken: 5 (10 minutes)

Game 3 (in San Jose) – Loss 3-0
Elliott 11 saves – 3 goals allowed
PPG scored: 0 PPG allowed: 0
# of Penalties taken: 2 (4 minutes)

Game 4 (in San Jose) – Win 6-3
Allen 31 saves – 3 goals allowed
PPG scored: 2 PPG allowed: 0 (Scored 1 SHG)
# of Penalties taken: 8 (26 minutes)

Game 5 (in St Louis) – Loss 6-3
Allen 21 saves – 4 goals allowed (2 ENG)
PPG scored: 1 PPG allowed: 2
# of Penalties taken: 5 (13 minutes)

Fun Facts:
There have been 28 goals scored in the first five games of this series between the Blues and Sharks.
Eight (8) goals have been scored by a player who’s last name begins with a “B”.
Nine (9) goals have been scored by a player who’s first name begins with a “J”.

A wish for a pleasant Tuesday to you and your minions of happiness. Most people know I am a very casual hockey fan. I used to be a devoted Blues fan until the “Iron” Mike Keenan regime destroyed my enjoyment of the game. Regardless, every year I ‘adopt’ a player from the Blues and that is the guy I root for to succeed – normally he is an underdog. The last couple of years the player that I pull for wearing the blue winged note on the jersey is: Brian Elliott. Spanning three rounds of the playoffs, Elliott has been the guy. Did he have a clunker in each round? Yes he did. But he always bounced back to silence his critics. So when he had his clunker in this round, the issue was blown out of proportion by the fact that his team did not put any…I repeat ANY pucks in the net for two consecutive games. So even if he had only let in 1 goal – the team still loses. Hockey is funny like that. You don’t win any games that you don’t score in. So when the coach of the St Louis Blues (Ken Hitchcock) benched Elliott in favor of Jake Allen I was naturally put off. Allen turned in a Elliott-esque performance in game 4, making 31 saves and allowing 3 goals. This was similar to game one in which Elliott made 31 saves but only allowed 1 goal. So naturally when Allen faltered in game five (at home), everyone is wondering what the coach will do with his goal-tending rotisserie. I would think neither goalie would feel all that confident between the pipes. I wold think the gut feeling would be that if you give up a goal, whether a fluke or well-earned, all eyes will be on you. Talk about pressure. In my opinion, I think Elliott deserved to be back in there for games 4 and 5. When the team scores goals in front of him, Elliott has proven to be up to the task. This piece is not a knock on Jake Allen in any form. It is more of an indictment on the coach and the handling of a delicate team chemistry and confidence situation.

Coming up in game 6 the Blues are facing an elimination game. In elimination games, the Blues are 2-3. The Blues had chances to eliminate their opponent twice in the first series (vs the Chicago Blackhawks) and lost the first attempt while having the elimination advantage and came through in the second attempt where either team could be eliminated (game 7). In the second round, the Blues failed twice in elimination games (vs the Dallas Stars) before coming through on the third try (game 7). The difference now becomes that the Blues are in the hot seat to be eliminated as opposed to the two series prior when they reached three wins first. If San Jose is paying attention, they have something in their favor and something going against them. Going in their favor is the Blues are 0-2 in these playoffs in game sixes. Going against them is the Blues are 6-3 on the road in the playoffs. So San Jose probably does not want to push their luck to game 7 where the Blues are 2-0 and have won one each at home and one the road.

I am a loyal fan to those I root for. So coach, do the right thing and get this series back to St Louis. Also say you are sorry to Moose. Enough with your Magic 8 ball coaching. #LGBE

Be safe out there. Peace.

Epilogue: In game four where the Blues won by scoring 6 goals (two empty netters), the Sharks starting goalie (Jones) gave up 4 goals on only 19 shots and got pulled. Guess who the Sharks’ coach put back in there for game five? Yep, their coach showed faith and put Jones back in there and he responded. Everyone has an off game here and there.

If the goalie was making snow angels in the corner while play was going on, OK. But it’s a team game and if your defense is picking their noses instead of plastering guys, sometimes the goalie is going to get beat. Also tell the top defense-men to maybe stop taking stupid penalties that cost the team 4 goals in two of their losses. Just a suggestion…

Memory Game

I have a little silly game everyone can play. Literally everyone. Figuratively everyone too. And hypothetically everyone for those who may be in a vegetative state (not trying to be jerk, just making sure I cover all my bases for those who like to argue every single thing).

Take a moment and think of something memorable from each section of ten years of your life. For example: From birth to the day before your tenth birthday. Then from your tenth birthday to the day before your 20th birthday. And so on and so forth. It doesn’t have to be anything amazing or noteworthy, just something for whatever reason you really remember that stuck in your memory.

Me: year zero until year 9.99726 – I remember somewhere around 5 or 6 my brother broke a brick over my head. We were pretending to play ‘shoot-out’ in the grassy area behind my parents condo in Hazelwood, Missouri. I had a broken brick that I fancied to be in the shape of a hand gun and my brother had a broken branch that he was using as a shotgun or rifle. We were kids and didn’t know the difference. We just called it the long gun. When it came time to switch I didn’t want the long gun. My brother who was bigger than me and four years older tried to take it from me but I refused to let it go. Finally he knocked me down and took the ‘gun’ from me. In the fray, I kicked him in the leg from the ground. In his frustration, he brought the sharp, broken piece of brick down on my head, breaking the brick and my scalp skin and yes drawing blood. Of course I freaked out, ran inside and promptly told mom. Needless to say my brother got in trouble and we were not allowed to play ‘guns’ in the back ‘yard’ anymore.

Me: year 10 until year 19.99726 – I remember in my late teen’s driving home one night after working at Schnucks in Fenton (that store no longer exists, but it was located where Best Buy now sits). It was winter and there were some slick spots on the roads from where the snow and ice had been plowed but refroze. Being young and entirely reckless I was going 10-20 miles over the speed limit on the country roads on the way to home which was Dittmer in those days. For a good portion of the drive there was a pair of headlights behind me and I would accelerate to put distance between myself and that driver because I didn’t want to deal with the glare from that vehicle. This continued for about 15- 20 minutes until I got to the section of highway WW that descends to cross a small bridge before you turn onto Brook Hollow Road. I slowed and made the right hand turn without signaling and noticed the head lights from the other driver cresting the hill I just came down. Now at this point I turned onto Brook Hollow Road, which was a private road and gravel and for the most part still snow packed. My 1983 Chevette slid and spun as I tried to navigate the snow ruts to get the rear-wheel drive car up and down without sliding off the road. About 45 second after turning off highway WW, my car skidded, spun out and neatly bisected two trees. My heart was hammering in my chest as I put the car in park and noticed the trailing headlights approaching. It was dark but it was luminous out because of the moonlight refracting off of the snow. The other vehicle stopped and I dejectedly recognized it as my father’s truck. He didn’t yell or say anything. He just walked over, checked the car, turned off the headlights, took my keys out of the ignition and walked back to  his truck. I got in the passenger side of his Chevy S-10 truck and rode in tense silence for the next ten minutes. Two days later, my car got pulled out of the ditch and I got a stern lecture about responsible driving…from my mom.

Me: Year 20 until year 29.99726 – I remember sitting at my desk at GMAC Insurance on that overcast and cool Tuesday morning in the year 2001. The month was September, I had just finished up a call with an elderly customer who was looking to reduce her insurance premiums for her Buick something or other. Someone from two pods over said loudly, “There’s been a plane crash in New York. It hit one of the Twin Towers.” The normally noisy and bustling call center floor dropped to a whisper. I remember pulling up a browser window and searching for “The World Trade Center” to see if there was any news reported but the link would not connect. I did find a Yahoo story with two or three lines of text basically echoing what was already announced on the call floor. Our call volume on a Tuesdays was not always non-stop but usually pretty steady. Over the next 30-40 minutes virtually all of the incoming calls stopped as the world was getting reports of what was unfolding. The rest of that day was a blur but those 5-10 minutes after those sad words were uttered, I will never forget.

Me: Year 30 until year 39.99726 – in the year 2002, it was late August. I got to take a week’s vacation and finally make the road-trip to see my Cleveland Indians play…in Cleveland! I was married at the time and we drove there and then all around Cleveland.  Actually my wife drove as this was before I had a GPS and we didn’t want to end up in Michigan or Pennsylvania. That first game inside Jacob’s Field (it has now been renamed Progressive Field but it will always be The Jake to me) was incredible. The Indians were in their heyday and playing the hated Boston Red Sox. We sat in the bleachers and I got to meet John Adams aka The Drummer. I even got my picture taken with him but I have no idea what happen to it. It has been my one and only trip to Cleveland and I loved every second of it. I hope to do it again someday.

Me: Year 40 until now – Well one night a couple of years ago in February, my softball friends threw a fundraiser for their softball team. The activity was mouse races and the side show was me drinking until I passed out on a table. Then I got a second wind until I threw up in the bathroom. Then I got a third wind and took off outside before being thrown in my girlfriend’s Ford Taurus – headfirst into a door frame and then into the door on the other side…before I crawled out unscathed. The night was a testimonial to my intolerance to gross amounts of alcohol but my body’s ability to vanquish those effects to render me perfectly functional about 45 minutes later. Stone cold pimpin there. Cheers!


Monday…stop staring me down

…your call is very important to us. Please remain on the line and the next available agent will be with you.

So I hung up. Agent? Agent of what? Darkness? From the Matrix? The government? Double agent? Things just spiraled out of control. All I wanted was to talk to someone in customer service to answer a question pertaining to the duties I perform for my job. But this kind of danger and uncertainty, its just too much to ask for what I get paid per hour.
With that bullet dodged (if you can dodge a bullet, you can dodge a wrench! Or was it a ball?), we are now free to move into the bloggy blog world where words can create entire universes and also really irritate people.
For those of you inquiring why there was no Thursday podcast last week, I simply was not in the mood. If the storage on my phone holds up, I anticipate its return this week. On other social media fronts, I leaned more on my Twitter account as opposed to my Facebook to empty the overflow of my thoughts.
If you heard that, you probably have a special gift that allows you to hear other people’s stomachs growling from afar. Thanks to accidents, sunshine (not no you Corey), sheer car volume and no other real obstacles – my drive into work took twice the normal amount of time. Thus I was afforded no opportunity to procure and stomach breakfast. I didn’t even get the chance to grab a water so I am sure I will once again come up short on drinking the recommended 64 ounces (or half a gallon equivalent) of water. With my lunch break nearly an hour away, I am contemplating the nutritional value of the Earth. I am guessing it would take four or five reasonable bites to consume the Earth. Oh, sorry forgot you are not sitting on my shoulder like a domesticated, but foul-mouthed parrot. I have a foam stress-ball at my desk that is colored to represent the Earth. Seeing as I was not the original owner of the Earth, I would be hesitant to consume it just based on the sanitary issues. Plus what if at the center of the Earth there is something so horrible that once released it could destroy the world? Or crawl into my mouth or in my nose or into my ear canal? Oh the humanity. For the good of all, I cannot risk it.
So I guess I will just sit here with resting a-hole face until I can scramble down to the cafe for some sustenance. I appreciate you staying with me through this unpleasant time.
Matrix Smith
Hope you are enjoying a heaping plate of bacon complete with a container of sour cream to dip the bacon into and maybe some pecan waffles…damn it! This is why zombies say screw it and just chase the living. Hunger’s affects on our niceties and manors is not a pretty thing.
Have a kickball type of fun day! Peace.

May 23rd at … well after midnight

Good morning to everyone except the people in the Mountain and Pacific times zones as they are obviously still on Sunday night unless they are reading this not at the very minute I post it. If/then, I wish a good morning to those people as well.

I was trying to edit my piece from May 4th again but it went badly off the rails so I left it to marinate a bit longer in hopes I can edit it and make it something semi-readable and comprehensible. The flavor is relationships and my take on blaming romantic comedies for their role in making everyone always look for their Robbie Hart.

As I type this I am keenly aware that my alarm is less than five hours away from triggering to notify me my Monday morning get ready for work routine will commence. I’m sure there are millions (…and MILLIONS! Thanks Rock!) of people who are in this figurative boat when it comes to the start of their work week after a few days of personal time. Until the world does away with requiring money or credits or some type of currency in exchange for food, lodgings and other worldly goodies, the beat goes on.

This week my goal is to increase my fitness regimens from a daily output in the 30-60 second range to maybe 5-10 minutes per day. I have near faith in my resolve and think this is totally doable. Wish me luck.

Have a great day. Peace, not pace.

Hump Day! Hump Daaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Good afternoon and welcome to my humble niche in cyber space.

For the duration of your visit, I solemnly promise not to offer you any cookies laced with raisins. I wouldn’t do that to you. I don’t feel it is right and I would like a clear conscience.
To open this month I set a pretty torrid pace with nine posts in the first thirteen days and then over the last 4.5 days…Nada. Was it because I wasn’t properly hydrated? I suppose I could fob some blame off on someone or something (Hello Sam Bradford) but no, that is not the real reason. Truth be told, after my Friday the 13th post, I played or was involved in about 24 hours worth of softball. Not consecutively but spread out over Friday night, Saturday for virtually the entire day and about seven hours again on Sunday. Friday night was my usual league flavor at Sun Valley, then Saturday and Sunday I was in Rolla, Missouri at the annual LAW Memorial Tournament (Larry “LAW” Wilson, died in a farming accident in 2010). Friday night my team went 1-1 (forfeit win followed by getting butt kicked in championship – see photo with ALCO (Balics)). Saturday in Men’s tourney action, ArchAngels went 2-1. We got knocked out by Nerd Ropes who eventually lost in the championship. Then I hung around until almost 11pm to watch my girlfriend’s (women’s) team fall in the last inning of the championship game. They finished off the day with 5 wins and only that one loss. Very impressed with those ladies. After returning home (after midnight), I returned on Sunday for coed and pitched the Dream Killers to a 2-1 day. We won both pool games only to lose in the last inning of the single elimination round by two runs. Unfortunately I punctuated the disappointing game by grounding out to the shortstop to end the game and thus end the tourney for us. In reality the blame for the losses Saturday and Sunday belong to Buffalo Wild Wings. Any team I have played on and we have had a break and then the team goes to Buffalo Wild Wings for food…the team has lost the next game – every time. In addition to the Saturday and Sunday losses, there were two other St Charles based tourneys that the same result occurred. Buffalo Wild Wings is bad softball JuJu. The universe does not lie.
In other sports news, my Cleveland Indians are better than the St Louis Cardinals. Records do not lie! Cleveland is 2 games above .500 (Thanks Cincinnati!) and St Louis is but a single game above .500. If the playoffs started today in baseball, neither of these teams would be invited to participate based on their won-loss records. On the hockey front, the St Louis Blues are presently embroiled in a dogfight (airplane metaphor, not the animals) with the San Jose Sharks. The teams have split the first two games. So now it’s back to San Jose where the Blues won the only meeting played there during the regular season (the teams played three times in the regular season with San Jose winning two in St Louis and St Louis winning the single game in San Jose). My girlfriend was lucky enough to have her friend take her to game one on Sunday (Blues win) but didn’t get an invite to game two (Blues loss). So someone in the St Louis community needs to buck up and make sure Kristi goes to game five to make sure the Blues have their best chance to win. Sorry not gonna be me, I have no extra kidneys to sell to afford the tickets. Plus the Blues do not seem to win when I go so the expenditure would be foolish. #RallyBoobs
I apologize for all the sports stuff within the blog this week but it really has dominated the days following my last post. On a positive note, the hot wings at Holties in Barnhart, MO are phenomenal. If you are blowing through town, grab some – unless you are a vegetarian – then you can just order the wings, hold the chicken and request a mound of celery with ranch dressing. Yum Yum.
I’ve been up since about 3am and my thoughts are a bit fuzzy, unlike my teeth which still feel smooth and clean. Thank you Orbit gum! I am operating on a sugar rush from the gum, a regular strength Mountain Dew and some leftover birthday day from a co-worker. Diabetics all over the globe are wagging a finger and shaking their heads at me. I vow to try to do better tonight and tomorrow on the dietary front.
cake by the ocean
Hope your Hump Day is Humptacious! Or if you are struggling, hope you can get over the hump and tomorrow is better.

Friday the 13th

What are you gonna do, blog about it?

Sorry if today is not fun and full of fluffy bunnies in leather vests embroiled in a high noon showdown where the quickest draw blows away the other bunny or at least leaves a bullet hole in one of their floppy ears. Today has not been that fun of a day for me, as has been the case for most of the last two weeks.

We all have bad days and good days. That is ‘this thing called life’ as the deceased artist formerly known as Prince would say. As someone who has dealt with depression for about 30 years, some days are a greater struggle than others. I wont bore you with the triggers (as they can be just about anything) or the rope ladder that sometimes helps pull me from the deepest part of that suffocating pool. Distraction in these times is the best way I’ve found to help band aid the wound(s). Stresses rip open the mental injuries. Activities and positive support can help suture it closed and staunch the figurative bleeding. So here’s to hoping the weather cooperates and I can get in some softball tonight, tomorrow, Sunday and Monday to sew my mind shut for a little bit.

I know there are many people out there who do not understand what it is to be depressed or suicidal. They can go to Amazon.com and buy themselves some new Camo-colored Crocs to go with a five pack of white ‘wife beater’ tanks tops and everything is hunky dory. Or they can take their sweet ride through the car wash and get it detailed with a spritz of new car smell and the world is set right. For those individuals who are hard-wired that way I envy you and will never be able to fully comprehend why it is so easy to shut it off.

Every day I check my viewer stats for my site and I can discern how many people searched into my topics and how many are returning readers. The first hit on my site today was a re-reader from Brazil (South America). That made me smile. Someone, I have never met or even seen their face, pulled up my blog to see if there was anything new in the wee hours of morning (by world clock time). At that time there wasn’t (anything new) unless they had not logged on until after my post about Beyonce from yesterday. So if they log on again today that person can nod their head that I am recognizing them (or tomorrow or whenever they see this).

I guess this (helpless, hopeless) feeling is why so many people do drugs, or drink, or do mean things, or cut themselves…or simply choose not to be anymore. A brick sitting in your stomach to go with the SUV resting on your heart while your brain second guesses every stupid little thing. Mentally exhausting yourself about something that happened two minutes ago and then something two years ago and something you could’ve changed twenty years ago. It kind of feels like a dog chasing it’s tail until it crashes over panting frantically.

On a day in the valley (like today) you have to force yourself…to force yourself to look up. Run, walk, crawl or claw your way out of that pit. Sometimes it is the only way I make it through a day. Status check: I made it to today so every yesterday up until now I have found a way and a reason to look up. Here’s to finding many more.

Everyone on the other side of this screen who read at least this far, thank you. Have a great day. Peace.

All the Single Ladies…

Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it
OK anyone who knows me knows I do not particularly care for Beyonce. It’s nothing personal. Just do not care for her as an artist nor do I think she is anything special as a sex symbol. Just not my cup of lemonade. Also anyone who knows me, knows I abhor tea. Can’t even stand the smell of it or coffee for that matter. Yuck.
Alright back to these dumb ass lyrics. Unless you are talking about a Friends With Benefits ring, the notion of giving someone a ring because you ‘liked it’ is stupid and shallow and another reason for me to dislike her as a performer. Not even going to mention that this is bad advice for single ladies to listen to in my opinion (oops I guess I mentioned it). The ring she is making reference to is obviously a wedding ring. In case she hadn’t noticed, many marriages in this country fail everyday. In most of those instances those people promised to love each other forever. So to gyrate and sort of sing lyrics that suggest because he liked something about you: your smile, your butt, your math skills, the way you baby talk your pet, your grasp of the political system, some things you do well while inebriated, your comedic impression of Ellen Degeneres or something else from a subjective checklist that the person likes about you – that he needs to lock you up to a ‘lifetime’ contract on the off chance he might get a little jealous when another guy is dancing up on you – is Ludacris.
Am I going overboard here? Maybe. I plead the ninth amendment to the constitution in regards to that. Ha. You thought I was going say the fifth amendment didn’t ya? Now you have to Google the ninth and see what in the blue blazes I am talking about. Whether this invocation is the correct reference or not, be assured I am not dogging Beyonce for no good reason. I have a good reason. I don’t like her music and that is good enough for me!

So if you “Love It” then you should consider putting a ring on it – unless prohibited by law. Tomorrow is the fabled Friday the 13th. All you horror buffs I’m sure are geeked up and getting the (hopefully) fake blood to smear all over yourselves when you add your massacred pics to your Snapchat story. Kudos for finding something to embrace.
Have a splendid time and good day to you. Peace.

USA Constitution Parchment

Wearing a wrinkled shirt

Hello. Welcome familiar IP addresses and newbies alike. My name is Scott and I tend to blog here and there. There is no set format here nor is there any overhanging impression that I am all-knowing. This site is my trampoline of words and sometimes I fall over the side and land on my butt. However that does not stop me from jumping again.

As is the norm, I was running late and tried the age-old proven effective method of hanging up my polo shirt in the bathroom to let the steam from the shower release the set in wrinkles from sitting in the middle of a basket of clean clothes for 5-7 days. So it obviously worked and looked smooth and wrinkle-free? Meghan Trainor would say…NO. But it looked OK…NO. A blind person walking by probably wouldn’t have noticed…NO.

Hmmm. I need to be more diligent in either hanging things up fresh out of the dryer or firing up the iron to make my shirts pretty. I’ve got several pairs of sweet jeans to go with passable socks and shoes. No one is checking my underwear that I know of…so that just leaves the shirt. I hate ironing. Mentally I separate and put away the clean clothes the minute the dryer stops. But I blink a couple of times and everything is back in the basket. Boo.
So if you see me before 4pm today and notice I have on a jacket despite the temps being in the 70’s – this is why. I am trying to camouflage the fact that my shirt looks to be the texture of paper mache. Don’t judge me too harshly. Tomorrow is another day. I have a chance to redeem myself…or try to cover up again and hope my deodorant doesn’t relent four hours in and I become ‘that guy’.
Hope your Monday is filled with you daydreaming about how great your weekend was. Mine was pretty decent. Got to play a bunch of softball – I did not get sunburned too much – and got to celebrate about 10 minutes of Mother’s Day with Kristi and had a nice long conversation with mom. Now the 45 day countdown until my 44th birthday. If you are thinking of getting me a card or car or a well-invested portfolio, I promise to act surprised. Scouts honor!
For those of you that read my Indians-Cardinals-Blues piece…you will notice on Saturday: Cardinals win, Blues win…Indians lost. For the St Louis sports followers: You’re welcome! Or for those who aren’t grammar Nazi’s “Your Welcome”. And LOL OMG ROTFLMAOWSED!

Have a great start to your week. Peace.

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Silly Stats – St Louis Sports Edition

Good morning and HAPPY FRIDAY! Sorry I am CAP-SHOUTING for those that may have drank too much last night in celebration mode.

From time to time I reach out and wiggle the branches on the silly tree. Today is one such day, lucky for you. So I have long theorized that the universe requires balance and is a meanie head. I think the Chicago Cubs fans and the fans of Cleveland sports would probably subscribe to this thought process.

So last night in St Louis sports action, the St Louis Blues were defeated in overtime in their playoff hockey contest. The team that caused them to lose the game: The St Louis Cardinals. (Sound of someone pulling a needle off the record). I repeat the team that caused the St Louis Blues to lose was the St Louis Cardinals not the Dallas Stars. You may be scratching your head or scrolling through videos on Google to see some game action you may have missed on this inter-sport occurrence. Please refer to the attached spreadsheet.
OK if you have reviewed the data you will see the won-loss information for the dates that the Blues played and the corresponding results for my Cleveland Indians and the St Louis Cardinals. Some of you are asking why I have included the Cleveland Indians in this cosmic conspiracy theory of mine? Well because I am a fan of my heart-break kids from the Cuyahoga. I am sure there is probably another spoke on this wheel but I am too close to see what it could be so I will use this three team angle to make my point.
On game days for the St Louis Blues in the playoffs, the St Louis Blues have won 6 games and lost 5 games. On these 11 game days, the three teams (Blues, Cardinals, Indians) have all won 0 times together. The most combined wins per day on these game days for the Blues, Indians and Cardinals is two. At a closer look, on these game days when the Indians play/and win the St Louis Blues record on those days is 3 wins and 3 losses. On these game days when the Cardinals play/and win the St Louis Blues record on those days is 1 win and 3 losses. On days when both the Indians and Cardinals win the Blues are 0 wins and 2 losses. On days when the Cardinals play/and lose the Blues record is 5 wins and 1 loss. On days when the Indians play/and lose the Blues record is 3 wins and 2 losses. On days when the Cardinals have an OFF day and do not play, the Blues record is 0 wins and 1 loss. So mostly the Indians data here is inconclusive but the Cardinals data is compelling.
So based on this random data, I would guess the Blues are due for a win on May 7th as the Indians are playing the Kansas City Royals and the Cardinals are playing the Pittsburgh Pirates. Both of those opponents could spell losses for the Indians and Cardinals, which in turn is a high percentage in favor of a Blues win. What makes this a bit tricky is the Blues next game is an early time slot. So if the Cardinals want to just forfeit their afternoon game to ensure the Blues have the best chance of winning their game, hey, to the greater good here St Louis Fans! What is more important in May: a meaningless Cardinals win or a crucial Blues playoff game win? Your call. By the way (BTW) you can tweet in Mike Matheny’s ear (@mikematheny22) what a good deed he would be doing for the whole city of St Louis to employ this strategy. Nothing is larger in sports than the superstitions. Just Saying.
In case you couldn’t tell I am a big numbers geek. Numbers or stats, like carefully chosen bible verses, can make a case for just about any argument you want to make. Send up a pinch hitter to face a pitcher. The pinch hitter is 1 for 11 with 10 strikeouts and 1 homerun against this pitcher. So the stat to lean on here is the hitter is 1 for 1 with a homerun on batted balls in play against this pitcher…totally bypassing the gross ineffectuality the rest of the time.
For those looking for my Thursday Podcast, it is up on the Podbean site. Enjoy and sorry about the cursing!  (PODBEAN PODCAST – SCOTTLATTA)
Have a great Friday the 6th which is always a precursor to Friday the 13th! (and also Friday the 20th and Friday the 27th of lesser ominousness).



See the stats for the rest of the St Louis Blues Playoff run below. Note: True to form, there was no day on which the Cardinals, Indians and Blues all won.



I had another piece all ready to go for yesterday with some Star Wars laden pun humor (May the 4th be with you?) but alas between work, obligations and softball the clock ran out. So we skip ahead to today – Cinco de Mayo! (Five shots of mayonnaise?) As I was sitting in traffic for an eternity it seemed, it struck me that I did not do my usual Thursday morning podcast (on the Podbean app)…so I will try to rap something out this afternoon. Additionally, I had a few tidbits that I found amusing or somewhat profound and I have posted those on Facebook and Twitter.
For the grilled sirloin steak of this piece (or for those who choose to be vegan or vegetarian – how about a plate of perfectly cooked asparagus with some Parmesan cheese, sea salt and a heaping side of cheddar mashed potatoes?), I chose to think about how an ambush has evolved in the last few decades.
Think about it, whenever someone would ambush The Lone Ranger or Superman or whomever from decades gone by – they would have to plan a spot to logistically physically accost them along their path or with some sort of bait as a trapping enticement. The planning that would be involved and the preparation to pull off their ambush was critical. The perfect place to stage the ambush – no possible escape routes, check. Weather needing to cooperate, check. Every element has to mesh like gears on a bike (step on the X perfectly to get caught in a hero-proof netting), check. Snacks for while you wait, check. Well-timed bathroom breaks, check. The hero to be just gullible enough, check. That’s a lot of items that need to fall just right so that bad guy gets the upper hand.
Nowadays, it is much simpler. A bad guy or gal logs onto social media and posts something evil and nasty (item being true or untrue is irrelevant). Hero doesn’t log on until later and the damage is done. Public opinion has swelled negatively against them and they swing from hero to villain. Ambush accomplished.
So everyone be careful out there. If you have to pass through a narrow canyon, be watchful for large boulders on the edges that could come crashing down upon you while a shady figure twists the edge of their greasy mustache (again could be male or female). Or if you are at a Panera Bread restaurant on an open WiFi connection, watch your hard-drive’s backdoor. No where is safe. Embrace your paranoia. Constantly scan the room for sinister characters…and scan your media files for what may be lurking there.
Stay safe out there.


Solid foam or inflated rubber?

Just for the record I’ve been swiping left and right for years, way before Tinder made it a ‘thing’. Usually I am driving behind some schmuck who is going too slow or erratically weaving and I start making a swipe gesture either right or left depending on if I want them to turn into a driveway or a cross street or just down a rocky embankment to their demise. On some level I think I am due some sort of kickback from the horny app nation. Just saying.
swipe right
So I started thinking about something from out of left field. If I fell off a boat in the middle on the ocean and for whatever reason the boat sped off without circling around to rescue me (I guess I must’ve really pissed off whomever was driving the boat) would I prefer to be stranded in open water (there are movies by this name yes) with a life preserver made out of Styrofoam or an inflated inner tube? For the record I am not an exceptional swimmer and the only way I last more than 20 minutes is with assistance. So in this scenario I am opting for the solid Styrofoam with a hard plastic covering. Hey, it’s my hypothetical potential drowning scenario and I will skew it in my favor however I need to ensure my survival. It’s not like I am equipping it with a titanium shark cage below or travel size jet-ski, just a simple hard plastic life preserver with a foam core and perhaps a built in water proof solar powered MP3 player fully loaded with over 10,000 of my favorite songs and a GPS.
The reason for my choice, besides its bad a$$ upgrades, is I feel fairly confident that even in the middle of the ocean I would find a way to puncture the inner tube; thus it would be useless and Scott sinks to his blue-faced death well before the sharks come by for a nibble. In either scenario, I do not like my odds against anything wearing shark skin.
open_water_swim shark
While contemplating this scene, I am listening to the classic Michael Jackson album Dangerous on my trusty Zune player using a single ear piece of my Skullcandy ear buds. No real reason to mention this, just thought I would share.
Michael Jackson Dangerous
If you were thrown/fell (or pushed) overboard literally or figuratively what would you cling to? What do you need, as opposed to what you would want, to save you? If you are always on dry, solid land I guess it is more of a philosophical question to ponder. But you just never know when a levee is going to fail and send a large unexpected amount of water rushing your way. It tends to get very deep very quick. Then what?
Make your week a positive entity with lots of upward potential toward future happiness.