Jurassic World – Regular and 3-D

Good morning or afternoon or possibly evening!

For today’s geeky blog I am going to talk about the movie Jurassic World. This is technically the fourth installment of the Jurassic Park franchise and based on the records set by box office standards – it will certainly not be the last. For those of you holding your breath that I will reveal spoilers…wait for it, wait for it…I will not. If you have seen the previews then you have nothing to worry about.

The flick is roughly about two hours long but they are not a loooooong two hours like some movies. I have sat through the movie twice – once for the standard version and once with the 3-D glasses on for the more expensive ride. Both times I left satisfied. The kid in me was wow’ed and impressed with the action and natural looking movements and reactions of the dinos. The adult in me was satisfied with the thinly plausible story and events as they unfold. Chris Pratt’s character is fun and gives the movie a younger, fresher feel than the actors from the first film. Perhaps for the next installment (2018?) they could recruit The Rock? Hmmmm. Just throwing that out there.

As a sequel or reboot, however you choose to view it, Jurassic World has legs. They may be scaly with cankles but that just makes it more sturdy for the future to rest upon. The fictitious John Hammond would be proud indeed. I personally cannot wait for the Blu-Ray to be produced and hit my Amazon.com queue for purchase. I anticipate a video game for PS4 (PS3) and XBOX ONE forthcoming. Maybe some raptor playability? I guess I shall just have to wait and be patient to see what they cook up in their lab.

So whether you like your dinosaurs via land, sea or air – you should not be disappointed unless you really just do not like extinct mega lizards. So sit back at the theater with your $32 soda/popcorn combo and enjoy wall to wall coolness. After seeing it both in standard and then the 3-D version – I would settle for the 2D version. Not much of the 3-D pops were dino related or that I could tell so I could take or leave the 3-D quirk. That is just my 2 cents. If you are big into the 3-D experience, by all means spend the extra $4 per person and go for it. I anticipate seeing it at least one more time before it becomes available for purchase (as of today – no estimated release date yet – boo!)

Hope your week transitions smoothly from June to July without stressful incidence.

Peace.

Ziplining

I am back after a short hiatus of…yesterday.

As some of you (stalkers lol) may know, yesterday happened to be my 43rd birthday on this planet (birthdays off of the planet do not count). I had preplanned to take the day off from work and spend it with my girlfriend and her son. We dropped the little one off at the daycare for late morning early afternoon to take a surprise excursion. Our mystery destination was revealed prematurely by Siri (that disembodied cyber bitch housed within the phone).

The day started off with a frozen ice cream birthday cake in the freezer and after stopping at the daycare, we scooted through Mickey D’s drive-thru for a little crunchy sustenance and Sprites all around. Upon programming the destination into the phone for GPS directions, Siri (not on mute) proceeded to announce “Commencing route to Grafton Zipline”. Kristi responded as a person who is anxiously anticipating a long awaited sequel to a favorite movie might if a third party started blurting out plot points and the secret twist ending. The cat was out of the bag. Surprise. But it was still a good surprise. I have long wanted to try ziplining so I was excited with a mouth full of hash browns.

We drove for a bit over an hour, crossing state lines in the process, to reach Grafton, Illinois. Along the way we crossed the bridge in Alton, Illinois and observed the elevated flood waters and modified roadways. One stretch of road had the westbound two lanes combined to shared one lane each of west and east travel as the two east bound lanes were submerged beneath catfish infested waters. Long barges, being manipulated by tugboats, were out in abundance on the brown and surging waters. In surveying the waters, I did not see any dorsal fins to indicate the presence of sharks. Which made me wonder if sharks are just super prissy? You generally only see them in clear, pristine waters but not murky, muddy waters. Hmmm. Good enough for crocs and gators. Hmmm. OK back to the Great River Road to Grafton.

With the muddy river to the left, the scenes to the right alternated from partially flooded residences to sheer outcroppings of rock facades with trees galore. Very scenic and relaxing. After a tense moment or two when we had to navigate a closed road detour (flooding), we ascended to Aerie’s Winery (and Grafton Zipline). The road was rough and steep but my little car made it to the top. We checked in and got strapped into our zipping gear and were ready to wait as last minute guests arrived and joined the tour.

Once we finished listening to some tips and rules we were all ready to go. The youngest in the group was six years old and the oldest was older than me (it’s not polite to ask women their age). Right out of the chute, we got a 300 foot ‘Baby Bear’ test stretch to make sure everyone could comprehend and follow the rules. The scariest part of the first run was the landing platform that was a floating platform on the tree. The platform was not hammered into the tree but able to give and turn on the wire cables that tethered it to the tree from above. Freaky! After that it was on to the longer and more fun stretches. I do not remember how many lines we zipped but I think it was somewhere around 8 or 9. After the 300 foot starter line, we moved onto a 700 foot line and then 1500 and 2000! The heights varied from 30 feet or so to a few hundred. Having your harnessed body zinging along the wire, suspended like a bird, is an incredible feeling. Looking straight down to see creek beds and the tops of smaller trees and off to the sides the valley views – I would recommend it to anyone. I am not all that keen on heights and the experience really did not bother me for even a second. The wonder and exhilaration pushed all that aside for an awesome experience. The young children on the tour zipped as if they had been doing it all their young lives. Kristi made the zips with a big smile and a few laughs interspersed. If you are picturing her long flowing reddish hair cascading in the breeze – stop it. lol. Ladies (and gentlemen) with long hair are required to put it up in a bun or a ponytail to avoid having it get caught in the harness or mechanism. Because who wants to get stuck on a wire cable suspended 200 feet above the forest in the middle of a 2000 foot run while someone else tries to untangle your possibly painful hair knot? All the while the cable is causing you to sway and turn under the extra tension put on the line? No thanks!

Some of the runs were moderate in the speed you achieved and some were quite zippy indeed. The only problem with the faster runs is the experience is over too quickly and you don’t get to really look around and enjoy it but it is still very fun in my opinion. About halfway through the tour someone in the group asked how many runs we had left and then the countdown began. After each turn, it was a little bittersweet as the experience was so enjoyable but like eating your favorite food. With each bite a little more disappeared until your plate was empty and you were done. The only experience I can compare it to that equates a little is riding a roller coaster. Obviously it is not an apples-to-apples comparison but that is the only thing that comes to mind. A roller coaster flying over an invisible track with some speed and air rushing by your face.

Adding to the experience were the two guides. A guy and a girl. The guy was the lead where he ran ahead to ‘catch’ the guests after they left point A and he caught them at point B. The girl was the anchor and loaded everyone for their zips and naturally came along last after everyone made it successfully. I feel like a jerk but I forget their names. The guy was taller and quick witted. The girl was shorter than him but was also witty. She tended to get overshadowed by her partner for laughs but they both worked well together and made us feel comfortable despite the obvious peril. Of course, one of the other guests asked the natural question: Has anyone died doing this? And the female zip guide responded that no one had died in the four years since they had been open. She tried to be friendly and engaging by asking where you were from and other similar questions. Towards the end of the tour, she disclosed that she would like to try some other competitors but was advised she would probably need to travel to more exotic locations as the other ziplines locally were probably a step or two down from Grafton Zipline. Most other competitors locally (generically speaking) do not have as many runs and some of the ones they do have are less scenic by going over mundane things like parking lots.

I can honestly say it’s one of the most memorable things I have ever done for my birthday or any other day for that matter.

The tour was around $70 a person but for about 90-120 minutes you are on the zip course I think it is worth it. As we were leaving after the tour, we were given coupons for a discounted rate in case we wanted to return before the end of August 2015. Over the first few runs there is a photographer on the ground taking digital pictures that can be purchased on a CD-R for $24 if you wish to get a few action shots of your self waving, screaming or hooting. The guides let you take pictures in between runs but not on the actual runs themselves.

Halfway down the hill is the winery where you can sample some versions of beers and wines with a limited food kitchen. Overall it was not too bad on selection or price – just beware if you order the chicken club the chicken is like a whole chicken breast not the sliced chicken I was used to or expecting. Just up the hill about 75 feet from the winery restaurant is the gift shop. It includes an array of different souvenirs and such but keep in mind they do not open until 11am and have almost no short sleeved t-shirts in case you were wanting to purchase one. 😉

From the I-270 and I-55 highway interchange (Missouri) it took about 75 minutes to drive. So depending on where you are coming from I would plan on blocking out about 5 hours for the drive and zipping combined (depending on if you get a large or small group).

I have heard that Florida and some places in Central America have incredible runs so that may be something to look for in the future!

We celebrated our zipping experience afterwards with ice cream cake! Woot Woot!

So if you get the chance, take the leap. It’s a bunch of fun.

Grafton Zipline

Happy Hump Day. Peace.

Monday – Munday – Mum Day – Mundane

Today is Monday and then my mind started to wander. I tried to stretch that into Munday to work it as a phonetical pronunciation but that’s not a real thing. So I shifted slightly to get to Mum Day. Which could go two ways – mum the flower – which there is no national mum day (hmmm, go figure) – or mum day as in Mother’s Day – which already happened on May 10th – 43 days ago. So no good there.

So into the batter’s box steps mundane. Oh the plethora of mundane is so mega-mind blowing that all the mundane overwhelms and becomes less mundane just by volume despite the actual substance. From there I broke down sub-stance to giving a sub sandwich pretzel stick legs so you could actually have a sub in stance – although I doubt it would be all that impressive.

So in a short period of time my mind went from acknowledging today was the start of the mostly accepted work week at Monday to placing a sandwich (a Subway restaurant sub of black forest ham on wheat bread with lettuce, tomatoes, mustard and provolone cheese as the template used) on prosthetics.

So hopefully I have transcended your mundane Monday a bit to give a splash of wonder (mostly at how my brain works) to your day. So as my slight neck sunburn from my trip to Oklahoma starts to itch and peel, I wish you good juju and hope that you are able to enjoy a mouthful of something that does not resemble a re-hydrated frog that was accidentally crushed beneath 85 pounds of medical textbooks for at least a year and one hour.

Peace.

Skittles

I briefly thought about writing a blog on the word Snicklefritz which has roots in the Pennsylvania Dutch community referring to young chatterbox children. But In The End (as I am listening to Linkin Park on Youtube) I decided against the topic as I didn’t think it had enough legs in my my lackadaisical state.

Here I sit mid-afternoon and I have just downed about three dozen Skittles. Yes the sugary candy. I needed a pick-me-up. Do not judge me! OK judge me if you will but I was dragging for some energy and it sounded like a quick fix solution. So far (about a half an hour has elapsed) I am not getting the sugar kick I was seeking. As a bonus I think my stomach may fall out. So I give myself a fail.

This should be my last blog as a person who has not visited the state of Oklahoma. If things align as they should, I will also be able to brag about playing softball in my fifth state (Missouri, Kansas, Illinois and Indiana are the other states of the union with this distinction). For the record I have visited other states and held a softball (Iowa, Ohio, Florida, New York, North Carolina, Colorado and Nevada) but not officially played a ball game in those states. Perhaps someday.

As always please send me any ideas for blogs or cute cat videos. Hope you are able to stay dry and avoid terrible drivers that seem to be a plague upon this land. Do not get me wrong. I understand that tire blowouts happen. Run out of gas – embarrassing but also it happens. Car overheats or whatever mechanical malfunction befalls the driver – OK. But when so many accidents happen due to inattentive, distracted drivers driving while reaching for something that takes the eyes off the road or you are riveted to the screen of your phone to look at a picture or read a message – c’mon damnit! Compounding this epidemic are people who are just poor drivers and cannot navigate in anything less than pristine conditions with completely open lanes in front of them. Because of this, traffic becomes an unbeatable monster. This causes lost time and wastes resources (gas) by thousands of innocently disinterested competent drivers. Get your sh!t together people! Sheez! Social media and texts will wait. Is risking death and destruction for a ‘lol’ or a smiley face emoji really worth it?

The Houston Astros are such fools. We are signed in as them on Facebook Messenger and sending trade requests for their whole minor league system. lol. Hold on I’m going to ‘Like’ the St Louis Cardinals page. Shhh. #WeWillNeverGetCaught

….Sorry think I got hacked for a second there.

Happy Thursday and calming peace.

Rain

Over the last day or two, the skies here in Missouri have alternated between overcast with occasional broken clouds and a few streams of sunshine to banks of dark clouds coating most everything with light to moderately heavy rain showers. When the rains have come there has not been too much thunder and lightning (so far) unless it happened after I checked into the Sleepy Night Night Hotel. I love the sound of rain and the noise patterns are like a lullaby to me. In theory, I wouldn’t mind living in Seattle part-time and here in the midwest part-time. Go up to Seattle for about a month to get my fill of rain and the calming effects. Then when my inner being starts jonesing to play ball, jet back to Missouri for some humid and sweaty softball for a couple weeks. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Some of you know my affinity for softball and my propensity for playing multiple times per week. But softball in the rain and soggy conditions is really not that fun. So this would be a cake and eat it situation. Almost nothing in sports is worse than playing ball in the rain or after it has rained and the field is soaked. Wet slippery grass and muddy spots on the field turn your shoes into heavy, nasty, squishing foot huggers. Then they sit in the car until the next morning. Upon entering your car the offending smell is as if a corpse has taken a Taco Bell dump under your seat. It’s awful and not easily dissipated. It is best to leave your shoes outside in a place they will not get any wetter and have a chance to dry out. OK that is enough stinky shoe commentary. Brass tax on the subject – softball is better in dry conditions – preferably cooler temperatures but I will take hot and dry over wet and cool.

So back to my original thought: rain. There is something about the rain that mesmerizes me. When the dark clouds gather and the wind kicks up and the first few drops start falling, I feel a certain anticipation. I feel a greed. I do not want just a sprinkle of rain. Do not tease me. Have the sky turn black as night and let the drops get bigger and fall faster until it looks like a curtain of water. The water pools and joins with smaller puddles until they overflow and start trickling downhill. Those trickles join up and make a stream and those streams crash together and make a river. I love the white noise of the rain and the sound of the water smacking the pavement, cars and pools of water. Throw in a random rumble of thunder and it just feels primal and right. I guess I am just a freak of nature who enjoys thunder storms.

Oh well.

So whether (get the pun?) I am sitting in a dugout in Springfield, MO waiting for the showers to pass for the rest of my softball tourney to continue or in my car barely able to see out the windshield or home in bed listening with my eyes closed as the rain pounds down – I love the rain and the associated memories that flood into my brain. So let it rain, softball will wait.

Happy Hump Day to everyone on the face of the Earth who has an internet connection and surfed into my tiny piece of cyberspace. Hang out for a second and soak up the concept. Feel free to leave me a comment or send me an email.

Peace under a colorful umbrella to you…

Tattoo

Hello!
Today is June the 12th of the year 2015. Yesterday I experienced my first body tattoo that wasn’t a lick and stick only to wash off later. I had my flesh pierced about 13,000 times in the almost two hours I spent on the tattoo table. My tattoo artist Matt did a great job interpreting a few dozen images I sent him to create a unique skull with glowing recesses and incorporated my nickname Freak into the design. Overall I am very pleased with my first swing at body art.

From a pain perspective, I have had some relatively minor surgeries and my ear pierced so I figured I was ready for the ‘sting’ of a tattooing needle. Sooooo not ready. Ha. The moment the ‘gun’ started buzzing I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle up and my heart rate double. Hard to tell but I think I remained pretty stoic and held a poker face even though that first drop of ink entered my skin and I thought I was going to wail like a scared child in a haunted house being chased by Satan’s minions. At no point did I scream or burst into tears or beg for a break. Instead, I tried to compartmentalize the ‘stinging’ and focus on different things around the room and even closed my eyes for a bit to really gauge the pain level. The worst part is the outline of the design. That gun (he used multiple tattooing guns) was the one that brought the most discomfort as he filled in the black lines that would give my art definition and ultimately make the skull real. Once he got to the shading portion, the ‘stinging’ was much less intense and quite bearable.

I arrived a few minutes before 1 pm central time and approved his design and requested a slight modification of the text/font above the skull. Matt proceeded to alter the design on his iPad and then sent it to the printer and printed the design after conferring on the dimensions and how the design would lay on my chest. From there he applied the stencil and asked about color and shading and we were off. The whole process from arrival to completion and picture for his portfolio took right around two hours. Granted we had consulted about six weeks ago and did an initial walk through of my idea and scale that took about 30 minutes. So from consult to completion in less than three hours.

Matt Hodel was professional and entertaining with him singing a bit of alternative rock while doing some prep work. If you are looking for a cheap tattoo he may not be your guy. However, in looking at his portfolio on-line through his website and the various social media outlets where he posts some of his work, I was impressed. Then in meeting with him and discussing the layout, expected time to complete the art, projected cost of the tattoo and his confidence to create something I would like – I would rate him very high. Because let’s face it, if I am going to get something permanently etched upon my body, I want it to be first rate and a reflection of my personality. He delivered nicely on those counts in my book.

On a side note, my girlfriend who has a few tattoos is trying to take credit for me getting my tattoo. Did I go to the shop where she got some of her tattoos done? Yes but from a different artist. Has being around her and seeing how her tattoos reflect her style and how they compliment her body helped? Yes, of course. But that’s where it ends. It was not like a got her name in a heart on my lower back (tramp stamp area). Being around her has maybe changed my perception of people who have tattoos and how I feel about them but agreeing to sit there and let someone inject ink under your skin is a personal decision I do not come to lightly. I did not just grab a picture of a butterfly and say put this on my ass cheeks or ask for a tribal band to go around my tiny bicep. My personality skews darker and I thought a modified, morphed, battered skull reflected a peek into who I am as a person. I have always been kind of an outcast. A weirdo. Different. Set apart. A freak. So this was a (painful) way to meld those those realities of mental and physical.

So with the air cleared I am satisfied with my first tattoo. Would I get another one? Certainly. On my face? Um, no way. Am I going to get another one tomorrow? No. It took me nearly 43 years to come to this expression of me. I will think about what else I would like and go from there.

Hope your Friday the 12th is going well. Run off and see the Jurassic World movie but do not spoil it for me!

Have a great weekend. Peace.

Stirring the pot a little…

Lol have fun out there…

Elapids

Elapids spelled backwards is sdipale!

What am I talking about? Elapids comprise cobras, kraits, mambas, sea snakes and many other venomous slithering creatures. What do these creatures have in common with their non-venomous cousins the pythons? The python uses it’s size and muscle constrictions to make it so it’s prey cannot breathe – essentially asphyxiating them so it can swallow it whole. Yes pythons can and do bite but the wounds inflicted (if any) are superficial and typically are just to position their head and interior teeth for optimal pulling into it’s mouth and gullet.

The elapids on the other hand, with their bite, inject a neurotoxin that binds to the receptor muscle of the diaphragm causing it to cease functioning and it’s prey stops breathing and dies. This process can take as little as a few minutes, up to a half an hour depending upon the size of the snake and obviously the size of it’s prey. Some elapids can also ‘spit’ their venom into the face and eyes of their prey to cause blindness but for now we will focus on the biters as opposed to the spitters.

Kraits, which are indigenous to Asia, can grow to adulthood at at length of 1-1.75 meters (3-6 feet). The most common kraits are the blue krait and the bungarus.

Sea snakes are found predominantly in the Indian and Pacific oceans around Africa, Asia and Australia. Their length is on average 2-3 meters (6.5 – 10 feet) but can be longer. The most common sea snake is the coral reef snake.

Mambas live primarily in Africa and are usually around 3 meters (10 feet) long. The most well know mamba is the black mamba. The black mamba is named for the hue inside the snake’s mouth instead of it’s outward scale appearance. Also in the NBA for a time, Kobe Bryant was know as the Black Mamba but then he was snake-bitten (pardon the pun) with multiple injuries and is on the verge of retirement.

One of the most recognized elapids is the cobra. It’s likeness is used in all sorts of company marketing from alcoholic beverages to motorcycles. In India and southeast Asia the King Cobra can reach a length of 5.5 meters (18 feet) or three of me laid end to end. Not sure where you are getting three of me but that is the measuring stick for this example.

OK. So at this point you are probably wondering what prompted this lesson on venomous snakes. I had this dream I was being attacked by a fast moving python that morphed into a cobra after it wrapped me up. After the cobra bit me, I grabbed it and twisted it’s head off. The cobra relaxed and turned to dust but the venom caused me to get weak and fall asleep in my dream. A cop came along and told me to chew this anti-venom gum and I was revitalized. A few seconds later I was awake and listening intently for sounds of slithering in the bedroom. Luckily there were none.

For the record the only elapid found in North America is the coral snake. Mostly sticking to Arizona because it likes the dry and hot climate the coral snake likes to hide under brush piles and such so keep that in mind. If you are wondering about rattlesnakes and such – those are not elapids but instead fall under the viper category and can also be found in marketing of energy drinks and sports cars. Just saying.

Hope your Wednesday (Hump Day) is informative and amusing in some way.

Cheers and peace.

B Vitamins

Okay so maybe I get bored sometimes and think about things other people don’t get to or just breeze on by. For instance, I was reading that there are only 8 “B” vitamins. This peaked my curiosity since on the side of my Full Throttle energy drink can it notes containing 150% of vitamins B3, B6 & B12. B12 of 8? Funky math in my book.

However the science community is to blame here. Apparently certain vitamins are categorized by how they are valued to the human body and over time some discovered vitamins were reclassified or disqualified from the “B” category. Of the ones that were able to retain their status – B3 (niacin) is my favorite. Below are a few links to other sites that give some interesting information – some layman speak and some official government stuff – on the topic.

Another Blog on B Vitamins

Nature Made

NIH – National Institutes of Health

Just had to channel my inner Bill Nye The Science Guy for a moment even though I was a terrible student of science back in the day. My volcano in science class had a malfunction. Instead of vomiting the pseudo lava out of the top opening, my volcano had a sporadic case of projectile diarrhea.

Enjoy the silence…and other Depeche Mode hits! Good day y’all!

Probably should have gone with the Blinded Me With Science reference here but oh well!

Boppy Music

Sometimes on YouTube I play a song and then I let YouTube auto-play whatever it thinks I should listen to from there. Right now I am being subjected to Taylor Swift imploring me to Shake It Off right on the heels of Bruno Mars bragging about his Uptown Funk. Now you tell me how this came to be when the first song I listened to was Linkin Park’s Burn It Down? Inconceivable!

Let’s see how the rest of today unfolds musically.

Have a good day and let social media be your guide for tweeting, posting your thoughts or picture snapshot of something delicious that is now a mishmash churning it’s way through your digestion process.

Cheers!

Swimming

Good day to you and your pets (no fish are not pets) and/or children if applicable.

With the temperatures and humidity levels rising here in Missouri I thought it only natural to delve into a popular activity when it is hot outside – swimming.

Some people like to swim in swimming pools, some in lakes, some in rivers, some in oceans and some in debt. Given the choice of the above I would take a swimming pool with the correct levels of chlorine  and anti-algae chemicals. My second choice would be the ocean followed by lakes and rivers and lastly debt even though that seems to be the one I tread water in the most. The reason for my rankings is simple: I am a bit prissy. Fish poop, snakes, sharp rocks, other unidentifiable muddy slime, unseen sticks, submerged beer bottles and other debris diminishes the enjoyment of the swimming activity unless you are intoxicated to the point where none of those other things register. The last time I was in a pool was last summer at the Shuffle Board Champion Becky’s house. Her house is an outside wonder tucked away in an unassuming subdivision. But that’s a blog for another day.

With temperatures reaching and exceeding the 90 degree mark yesterday, many people between innings of one of my softball games joked that the park needed to install a pool to cool off and draw in a bigger crowd for afternoon games. I think I will suggest that the park implements a suggestion box so I can place a suggestion in the suggestion box to add a pool to Wolffs Softball Haven. I think this may ultimately be a fools errand but you never know!

For those of you out there enjoying some swimming, remember to apply enough sun screen and do not swim with any open wounds around hungry sharks. Also let’s address the elephant in the room – peeing while swimming. Many of you out there are doing it. If you are doing it in a pool you are a terrible person and should smacked with an open hand right in the middle of your forehead. For the other bodies of water such as rivers, lakes and the ocean – go ahead pee to your heart’s content as the wildlife is also doing it and the natural ecosystem will deal with it accordingly. Fish in the wild can deal with micro-amounts of human urine. Now if you are urinating in a fish tank – those domestic fish are not adequately equipped to deal with that – not to mention WTF is your problem? There wasn’t a toilet, bush or sink available?

But I digress.

Have a great day and suit up!

Peace.

Monday

Today sucks.
Good day to hide under the covers with a flamethrower.

Okay so not very practical on the flamethrower paired with the bed covers as they tend to be very flammable. But there’s a lot of Monday going on out there and not just the “I need more coffee” Monday (and yes I still do not like coffee via taste or smell). There’s subtext Monday. Don’t back up into the darkness of a horror film Monday. The get 10 minutes into the drive to work to realize you forgot your work laptop computer Monday. The run to the bathroom multiple times before 10:00am Mexican food gurgle Monday (even though you didn’t have any Mexican food). Plus the socially acceptable talk sh!t about your friends behind their backs to stir up sh!t Monday.

I am having a bit of a rant Monday and I nearly apologize. Almost. Not quite. Except for some mistakes and things I’ve done in my life, I consider myself a stand-up, straight-forward kind of guy. Not saying I’m a saint by any stretch here.  For the most part I try to put myself out there to be there for my friends and be a generally supportive and positive person. If some people want to try to twist that because they are bored or are between drama for their entertainment – I say screw them. My business is not all that exciting. I tend to skew to the boring aspects of life. I enjoy playing softball and baseball. Most days I generally cannot tolerate my job but it pays some bills. I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend and her son and my friends and my mom and my cat. On occasion my creativity is expressed and some people are entertained by me. If that isn’t enough I’m sorry. My life is not your daytime soap opera. Get your Jerry Springer on somewhere else. Alot has happened to me over the last few years, some good, some bad and some regrettable. With that being said, I own my flaws and bad decisions and they have made me stronger and appreciate today for what it is. Hopefully there are good things to come in the future as I know inevitably there will be bad things that will come (there always are).

So, once again, to the busy bodies who need to gossip so they can make someone their punchline – GO. F%CK. YOURSELF. OR. YOURSELVES. AND. I. HOPE. YOU. GET. BITTEN. BY. LOTS. OF. MOSQUITOES.

Deep breath…and peace my friends.