As some may know, I moved into a new residence in mid-April of 2022. A house, if you will, by the most common definition. Said house has provided many (expensive) challenges thus far. One recurring expense has been upkeep of the yard – front and back – mostly in keeping the grass to a socially acceptable height. Due to activities scheduled for myself virtually every day/night of the week, the cutting of the grass chore was outsourced to a local denizen (a neighbor).
This neighbor initially came highly recommended. Once in touch with my neighbor, whom we shall call the LawnMower Man (Stephen King on line one…), it seemed like this chore was in capable hands. Our agreement, struck the last week in April, was for a cut and edge of the front and back yards for a price of $30. My front yard is reasonably small and the backyard is a bit more spacious but both are nearly flat. The LawnMower Man would mostly be tasked with riding his mower from a couple houses over to scythe down the aspiring, reaching grasses and weeds. The price was set and the frequency was also set – at twice a month or approximately every two weeks as needed.
For those who are referencing their calendars at this time, let’s review:
April 25-30 –> Approx 5 days
May 1-31 –> Approx 31 days
June 1-30 –> Approx 30 days
Based on these 66 days, it would mean that roughly every two (2) weeks would equal about five (5) cuts of my yard(s). During this scheduled timeframe, I would pay the LawnMower Man within a few days of the cuts happening which he verbally indicated was acceptable. He initially indicated that he did not want to be paid via check and didn’t have access to Venmo or PayPal so cash was his preferred payment method to be taken. Fine enough for a handshake deal right?
I’ll withhold some personal information about the LawnMower Man as it really isn’t relevant to our agreement, but I would just give him two twenty dollar bills ($40) each time payment was rendered. This extra $10 was meant as a tip for his ‘good job’ but also as a little extra help for him financially based on the person information I was made privvy to in the beginning.
Let’s do a little invoicing math just for reference. Five cuts at $30 each equals $150. If you want to kind of assume the tip price as the going rate, five cuts would come to $200. All square so far? OK, let’s move on to July…
Here in Missouri for the month of July we had to endure torrential rains and also some periods of intense, brutal heat. After receiving my last cut from the LawnMower Man somewhere around the week of June 25-30 (I do not remember the exact day), I paid him about a week later. He was not home very much in the evenings and I was also still very active with activities and I was not about to leave an envelope of cash on his doorstep.
Now fast forward about 3 1/2 weeks…and my yard grasses were living their best lives. Some blades of the grass were mid-calf if not almost knee high in my yard. With no communication from the LawnMower Man, I made a deal with a person on Facebook MarketPlace on July 21st to acquire a used Toro mower (see podcast on this experience). After completing this transaction, I used the Toro to do a quick, crude mow job on (only) my front lawn during the peak heat of the day. Satisfied on the most basic of levels with this chore’s temporary completion, I thought this was the end of my relationship with the LawnMower Man. Apparently it was not.
About a week later I was in my home office (I work from home) and I heard the sounds of a lawnmower and close by too. I crept to a nearby window and spied the LawnMower Man cruising around my front law that really didn’t need to be cut (edged yes, but not cut). Long story short on that, he cut my lawn and was done in about 30-35 minutes. He cut the back too – even if he did a fraction of an arse job back there. As usual, he did not knock or text to say he was done, he just went back over to his place. As someone (read customer) who had to buy his own mower and cut his own lawn, I was perplexed at his actions. So I did not initially engage him on his thought process or to relay payment intentions.
About a week later, I received a text message from him asking me if everything was OK. I asked him in reference to what? He responded: Anything…health mainly. I proceeded to tell him, I’ve just been busy and that I have a payment for him (even though I didn’t think he really deserved it). He responded verbatim:
You don’t owe me anything at this time, I still owe you another cut, if you need anything feel free to ask.
We exchanged another response of niceties and that was it. That was back on August the 4th. Since then, no additional cuts were performed by him. Actually this past weekend, my girlfriend worked on my yard with my Toro and her friend’s weed-eater. She did a heckuva job too, it looks very nice. So with that all there for you to mentally digest, I now bring you a conversation/interaction that I had with my neighbor whom I affectionately dubbed the neighborhood watch lady.
I was texting with the neighborhood watch lady and asked her, “So what’s going on with the LawnMower Man? He’s flaked on cutting my grass for the last two months.” She sent back a message: Call me, I’m driving.
So I call her and she proceeds to tell me that the LawnMower Man has been telling my neighbors that I haven’t paid him for months and I owe him $300-$400!!! I was stunned!! I was speechless!! She went on to detail how she was having issues with him as well and just stated she would cut her own grass. After a few more minutes of catching up on neighborhood newsletter stuff, she had to go as she was at her destination.
Now the timeline outlined above may be off by a day or two here and there, but just doing the rough math – it appears the LawnMower Man is doing some Enron accounting. The outrage starts to seep in with me that I was trying to be a decent human being by giving him the extra with each cut only to be portrayed as a deadbeat neighbor. Anyone who knows me when it comes to owing them money…I just flat don’t like to do it. I try to pay whomever I owe ASAP. That’s just who I am. I don’t like having that hanging over my head no matter how small or large the amount. So for him to be bald-face lying to others (who don’t yet really know me) is appalling and grieves me to my core.
OK I feel better. I guess I will get the rest of the frustration of this situation out in a few days walking in my yard…pushing my temperamental mower. I hope everyone is doing well. Check out my other posts or my other social media offerings. Try the podcasts – there’s something there for nearly everyone!
Peace. #33 – The Freak
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